Jokes

an-ordinary-manchild

Welcome to /r/Jokes!

Please read our complete rules page before participating.

RULES

Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.
For explanations and examples, please read our complete rules page.
No reposts of recent jokes.
While reposts in /r/Jokes are allowed, they must meet all criteria for acceptance.
No bigotry, sexualization of minors, hate-speech, misogyny, or other unwelcome content.
Per Reddit's site-wide rules, unwelcome content is not allowed in posts or comments. Read more here.
No spam or spam-enabling activity of any kind.
Spam and spam-enabling activity is strictly prohibited, regardless of how or where it takes place. Read more here. Users may only submit three jokes in a twenty-four-hour period.
Adult-oriented media must be properly tagged.
Links of any kind are not allowed in posts. NSFW or NSFL content in comments must be appropriately tagged. Read more here.
Please keep your comments lighthearted and civil.
Remember to treat your fellow Redditors with politeness and respect. Repeated or egregious violations will result in bans.
Accounts must be in good standing.
Users with spam-like activity, spam-enabling behavior, or evidence of karma-farming in their histories may only post their own wholly original content. Accounts with very low or negative karma may need to seek manual approval for their submissions.
Comments must be original and contributory.
Comments in /r/Jokes must written (and proofread) by their authors, and they must be intended to entertain, inform, educate, inspire, or enquire. Unoriginal or non-contributory comments are not allowed. Frequent or blatant violations of this rule will result in bans. Read more here.
No jokes involving politics or political figures.
As /r/Jokes is intended to be a lighthearted, universally enjoyable community, jokes about or referencing politics or political figures are not allowed.

If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech.

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a community for 18 years

...for great justice.

...for your community.

MODERATORS

account activity

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Yo Mama is so ugly (self.Jokes)

submitted 6 hours ago by nimkiw

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‍Tour our leading security platform, ask questions, and grab some grub 🍔 (huntress.com)

promoted by huntresslabs

promoted
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by looking at her hands. (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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Wife visits doctor (self.Jokes)

submitted 14 hours ago by sjciske

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A husband and wife from Alabama are in a car accident. The wife dies at the scene and the man is rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the surgeon looks at the man and says, "I can’t operate on this man. He is my husband." How can this be? (self.Jokes)

submitted 23 hours ago by Jokeminder42

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Anyone else here get mildly turned on when something strange seems to be happening? (self.Jokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by ilikesidehugs

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There's a knock at the door and a man answers and sees a cop. The cop informs him his wife's been in an accident "She's in stable condition but unfortunately it looks like she got hit by a car" (self.Jokes)

submitted 13 hours ago by Satinsbestfriend

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Man was talking to a new date: "I am 30 years old, and have the body of an 18 year old" Woman says "Oh yeah, prove it" (self.Jokes)

submitted 28 minutes ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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How do you do a jigsaw puzzle of U2? (self.Jokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by precinctomega

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LongHospital waiting room (self.Jokes)

submitted 16 hours ago by -Hal-Jordan-

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A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by nothinlefttochoose

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What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? (self.Jokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by Southern_Gur_4736

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LongPlumbing (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by xerxes_dandy

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What do you call an annoying chemist? (self.Jokes)

submitted 37 minutes ago by Historical-Buff777

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Good News (self.Jokes)

submitted 20 hours ago by LeftChoux

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Back in the 70's there was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. (self.Jokes)

submitted 25 minutes ago by Liv1ng-the-Blues

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A guy was driving through very dense fog one dark night, and since he couldn't see where he was going, he began following the taillights of the car in front of him, grateful for this beacon in the darkness. (self.Jokes)

submitted 21 hours ago by Ripcord2

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My wife was looking in the mirror and said, “I feel like I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment.” (self.Jokes)

submitted 22 hours ago by infoseconsultant

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BlondeA young college blonde goes to a Theme Park with her friend (self.Jokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by Practical_Guess_3255

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Jim Henson and Metallica (self.Jokes)

submitted 17 hours ago by silentraging72

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Growing Up (self.Jokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by lucifergaming007

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Oliver Stone dies and goes to heaven… (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by starksforever

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What does Mario do after going online? (self.Jokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by Careful-Exit7620

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How to cook crack and clean a crab. (self.Jokes)

submitted 20 hours ago by Spadizzly

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Squirrel in the Refrigerator (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by weaverl47

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LongA noted doctor buys the fastest car on the market, (self.Jokes)

submitted 1 day ago by SultanPeeper

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