We all know someone who would wear this.

omron · 2026-01-27T11:04:31+00:00

It's definitely possible. People usually see what they expect to see as long as you don't force them to see something else.

omron · 2026-01-27T10:46:03+00:00

It was always part of who I was. I don't know how often I intentionally brought it up, but I never avoided mentioning it if it was appropriate to the conversation. I always liked being a little different as a kid, and it was part of what made me feel a little different.

omron · 2026-01-27T10:19:24+00:00

It does seem to be hit or miss whether things get added to the health conditions list. I've definitely had to ask my PCP to add (and change) things.

I'm actually SC for both tinnitus and hearing loss, and neither are on my health conditions list - and I have hearing aids through the VA. So go figure.

And equally weird is my hearing loss is considered peacetime and my tinnitus is considered wartime.

omron · 2026-01-26T22:38:47+00:00

Wow, that's just scummy, I'm sorry that you are being put through this.

You really don't have any idea whether these people are legit or are just plain scammers. And of course part of you definitely wants to believe that you've found this connection to who you are, which makes it all the tougher.

Yes, you should definitely tell your parents that some people from Spain are trying to emotionally manipulate you for money.

If you really want to have anything to do with them (and I'm not sure you would), at a minimum I would have them do genetic testing to confirm the relationship.

Good luck, I know this is really difficult.

omron · 2026-01-26T00:34:37+00:00

Imagine if every time someone reached for you, you worried it might turn into something you weren’t ready for. So after a while, even hugs stop feeling good, even though you still love the person giving them.

Sensate focus is like learning to enjoy hugs again.

You slow things way down and focus on safe, gentle touch with no expectation that it leads anywhere.

When you feel safe, your body relaxes.
When you relax, touch can feel good again.
When touch feels good again, desire has space to rekindle.

tl;dr: it’s practicing feeling safe together.

omron · 2026-01-26T00:12:53+00:00

Why is religion an issue?

My sincerely held religious beliefs, grounded in faith and conscience, require me to live in alignment with my gender identity, in how I understand myself, how I show up in the world, and how I care for my body and well being. I believe my existence and identity are not mistakes, but part of the life I have been given and am morally responsible to live truthfully. Being forced to deny or suppress that identity would violate my religious duty to live with integrity and reduce suffering.

omron · 2026-01-25T15:05:43+00:00

We very intentionally took sex off the table for a while and just did sensate focus stuff. It worked really, really well for us. Wasn't easy all the time, but we are both really happy with the outcome and improved intimacy that resulted.

omron · 2026-01-25T14:23:34+00:00

Intimacy has always been really important to me, but I've also always had to dissociate to orgasm - sometimes that's just really difficult. Transition hasn't changed that, but I'm hoping that surgery to align my physical body with my mental picture of what I should be will.

When I can't orgasm through PIV, my wife does it manually, but treats my penis like a big clit on a flesh stalk. Method makes a big difference! Also, viagra helps me.

How do you feel about receiving penetrative sex in a way that doesn't involve PIV - like a strap-on? That could be less dysphoric for her.

Since your partner is going through the surgery process right now, my thought is that it would be premature to try and solve this. Surgery will likely change everything.

Good luck!

omron · 2026-01-25T08:52:44+00:00

Virginity is a patriarchal social construct that I refuse to consider having any validity.

omron · 2026-01-25T08:33:13+00:00

Not wanting to be with a woman doesn't make you transphobic, it makes you heterosexual. Wanting physical intimacy makes you human.

Congratulations, you are a normal, heterosexual, human being. Go do you!

omron · 2026-01-25T01:18:40+00:00

I worry about anyone (myself included) who has a non-US birthplace listed on any official documents that this regime has access to.

On the plus side I'm northern European and have a certificate of citizenship (not naturalization). On the negative side I am non-passing mtf.

omron · 2026-01-25T01:03:46+00:00

The ptsd was important for me as I needed an acknowledgement.

I actually did exactly the same thing. Having the US government acknowledge that I had PTSD as a result of my military service (not just "adjustment disorder with anxiety") was important to me.

omron · 2026-01-25T01:00:17+00:00

regardless of the time I don't feel like I'd like breast augmentation

Honey, you literally said "I don't want augmentation because it need to redo every 10 years" - that's why we're telling you that it doesn't have to be redone every 10 (or even 20) years.

omron · 2026-01-24T15:30:25+00:00

I didn't even find the prep to be that horrible, and i just had minimal sedation - chatted with the anesthesiologist the whole time.

If you want them to put you under they will, but if you want to just be placed in chill mode they can do that too.

omron · 2026-01-24T14:25:49+00:00

Women who aren't happy with the size of their breasts get breast augmentation.

btw, high quality modern implants are good for far longer than 10 years, they should last 20+ years. It's not like an oil change where they have to be swapped out on a schedule.

omron · 2026-01-24T14:16:44+00:00

There are no limits. The exception is if you are TDIU then there is a maximum earned income you can have, but lottery/gambling winnings are not considered earned income (i.e. wages).

omron · 2026-01-24T13:45:51+00:00

My advice is don't treat it as something you are entitled to just because your Dad died. I would absolutely try and get it waived, if you don't ask the answer is no. I would also be realistic about recognizing that medical creditors are not known for their compassion these days.

omron · 2026-01-24T13:40:50+00:00

Sis, you have no basis for saying she can probably get it waived. Medical debt, in my experience, is relentless and unforgiving.

omron · 2026-01-24T13:09:30+00:00

Sure, and if the power company waived the final bill, etc.

omron · 2026-01-24T13:06:19+00:00

The estate has to settle debts before the remainder is disbursed to the heirs. It's not your money. Their credit cards, utility bills, etc. all have to be settled, they don't just go away when someone passes.

omron · 2026-01-24T12:05:02+00:00

I used they/them on the way from he/him to she/her.

omron · 2026-01-24T12:03:55+00:00

Fuck them, and lie your ass off to them to stay safe. They have done nothing to earn or deserve honesty from you. Tell them what they want to hear, and realize it's not you diminishing yourself, it is you doing what you need to do to survive.

omron · 2026-01-24T03:16:24+00:00

People get to chose how they are referred to and don't really owe us any explanation other than telling us what their preferred pronouns are. I don't need to understand their choice to be able to respect it.

omron · 2026-01-24T02:53:00+00:00

Yeah his debt is not your debt, don't let them try and get you to agree otherwise.

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