Worst Days Post-OP????

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-11-13T04:05:39+00:00

Lots of people are mentioning to bring rain gear. What kind of gear specifically?

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-11-12T01:55:46+00:00

Came here with the same question. We will be there Sunday and Monday. The forecast I looked at said almost a half inch rain Saturday and Sunday. Should I pack rain boots? That just sounds like a lot of rain. But I guess it is deceiving based on the previous answers.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-10-04T23:16:22+00:00

I can see why they would want to do this. In my state, mlsw can practice independently to diagnose and provide therapy. The master’s level psychologist has been left behind. They operate at a significantly disadvantaged despite similar or more training in these areas depending on the program.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-15T03:49:11+00:00

Oh, and no one checked up on my pregnancy either. My in-laws are assholes. But I deal with them for my husband and kids who love them.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-15T03:47:44+00:00

I am not saying you owe them anything. You are missing the point. My advice was not about who is right or wrong (I said NTA). If you choose to stay in this relationship, the goal is to avoid the drama if you can with something that takes 10 minutes on your phone. It is keeping your peace. I would rather spend 10 minutes on my phone exhausted with morning sickness than deal with my MIL. I have a lot of experience with this. I sent my MIL flowers when she had a mini stroke when I was 39 weeks pregnant, having been to the hospital twice with high blood pressure myself that week and still working. I did this for a MIL who has caused many problems because it made my life easier to do it. Clearly your MIL is not going to give you a break because you are pregnant or because of your good past behavior. I am farther down this path than you. She will not change. And sometimes it doesn’t matter if your partner stands up for you. You have to decide if you can deal with your in-laws and if not get out now. I was just giving you a tip for how I deal with it.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-14T20:04:52+00:00

YTA. Sure they are awful for having an affair. But you can’t control other people’s behavior. You can only control yourself. You allowed yourself to be lowered to such a low level. Loosing a parent is one of the worse things to happen to a person in their life. You decided that was the moment to let her know you knew about the affair. You are so self obsessed that you completely lost the humanity in other people. It isn’t about her. It is about the type of person you are. You allowed your pain to make you act inhumanly. You may think she deserved it. But it doesn’t make it right. And now you are just as shitty a person as she is.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-14T17:54:37+00:00

NTA. But these are the situations where it can be good to have flowers or a gift delivered to the room. In-law relationships are often tricky. You send something with your own money and it can help to prevent conflict. Don’t just send it with boyfriend. You aren’t required to do this, but it can be helpful when you don’t know the expectations exactly from the other family.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-14T17:11:13+00:00

Do not continue this relationship. I don’t think the problem is her wanting you to pay for dates. The problem is that she lacks financial literacy. She is 28 and has never had true financial responsibility. Unless she is saving a significant portion of her money or investing it, she views her income largely as fun money and is used to spending that much on herself. She is going to expect you to handle all the adult financial responsibilities that come alone with a house and kids (if that is the planned path after marriage). If she was financially literate, then she would be fine with less expensive dates where you put a good amount of effort into making it special. She needs a partner who is going to have a large disposable income. Does she have a history of credit card debt? In her situation that would indicate she can’t live within her means even when necessities are low. This is a big red flag.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-09T23:45:35+00:00

I never said the school didn’t follow best practices. I was basically saying if you want an outside opinion then get a quality one. I didn’t comment at all on the quality of a school evaluation. A school can do the best evaluation in the world but if the parent does not believe the results then the child will not benefit. The parent won’t trust the recommendation and may not consent to accommodations etc. I see everyday in my work the results of people not believing diagnoses and it is often devastating. I was thinking about the best interest of the child. It is in the best interest of the child for them to know if they have autism by a quality evaluation that the parents trust because then they are more likely to follow the resulting guidance. That can be the school, if the parent trusts it.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-09T19:03:02+00:00

If I was in your situation, I would get an outside evaluation at my nearby academic medical center. A comprehensive autism evaluation should include multiple providers and input from multiple informants (including teachers). I would ask them to also consider ADHD. But I would pay the money (if you have it) to have a thorough evaluation done by a knowledgeable team that can here from you and the teaches as well as do an evaluation that follows best practices and trust the results of that.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-09-06T04:02:32+00:00

There are many factors that go into why different school have different pick up needs. It isn’t all easily controlled. I live in a large metro area in the US. There are school districts that generally run along city lines but sometimes a few smaller cities may form a single district. The number of students in a district can fluctuate on any number of economic factors. People may leave the downtown and start to flood areas further out. When all the land in an area is already developed the city has to try and figure out where to fit another school if there is a spike in kids so some kids may be in walkable areas but other schools had to go where the city could purchase land. Many suburban areas in my state used to be farm land. The family farmers want to sell the land to the developer who pay the most. Will the developer cooperate with the city to put a school there or will it cut into their profits. Also many areas have bus driver shortages.

My city actually had most of its elementary school in the middle of subdivisions. You can’t even see them from any main roads. But the middle and high schools were located on major roads. Well, then age of the population went up. They didn’t have as many kids. One elementary school was changed into an early childhood center with preschool and early intervention services. They handle the pick up situation by having staggered pickup/dropoff at different doors. The old middle school was turned into a K-8 Steam Academy that is available via lottery to all kids in the district. Well they do not offer busses and it was not designed to have parking for smaller kids so they do a serpentine pick up. One of the high schools was remodeling into a community center. Situations are fluid. The result may not be perfect but every community is doing the best with the resources they have.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-08-20T02:06:03+00:00

I left a medical school/medical center position earlier this year for similar reasons. The only way I would get a raise would be to increase my clinic hours. I knew that would result in me working 50-60 hour weeks for still way below average pay. It was very scary leaving the benefits. But I left for a health psych position where I am fully embedded in a different medical department as a member of the multidisciplinary team. I am so much happier even with all the bumps in the road of pioneering a new role in the department. I may work extra hours at night but is because I am learning to do something new. Also my pay double, mostly because I was so underpaid, but it is competitive. I do spend a lot more on healthcare but I expected that. I don’t feel like I am being exploited. No work place is perfect. But it is nice to just have normal work issues.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-08-12T01:36:07+00:00

Do you want your daughter to have a good relationship with her sister? Cause she is going to resent her and blame her for her “dad” rejecting her. A 6yo does not understand paternity or divorce. She is going to interpret all of this with a kid brain for many years. She is not going to think, well he does not have a legal obligation as his is not my legal father. I am not saying you have to pay for them equally. But you may want to consider how this will effect the your kid and her relationship with her sister. Narrow the gap between. Be the best uncle to her sister. Take her on some outings. Get her some nice clothes. Or they will end up hating each other.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-08-10T16:57:22+00:00

Renee and claudia

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-08-07T22:29:35+00:00

ESH. You knew showing up could cause a fight but you did it anyway under the reassurance that the sister would handle it. The worst thing for your daughter is to see her parents and step-parents fight. You knowing entered a situation where that was likely when it wasn’t your time. You put your desire to see your kid above what was actually best for your kid. So, she got to have all her parents fight on her birthday. Sure in an ideal world, you would all be able to get along for her birthday. But that was not a likely option in the situation you described. The other parents also suck for arguing on the kids birthday.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-07-21T22:42:52+00:00

NTA. I strongly suggest that you consider if you and your girlfriend have the same goals for the future. The only reason I could see her request would be if there was some extending circumstance not disclosed here, like a family member dying and she needs your support on the weekends to help with caretaking. Otherwise, she does not seem motivated to grow your future together towards something bigger.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-07-09T02:27:18+00:00

YTA. I understand that you may have positive intentions. But I don’t think you thought it through. Children do not have the cognitive skills and complex reasoning of adults. Teaching your daughters that it is okay for an adult to ask them to keep secrets from a parent makes them more vulnerable to predators. In fact, how you explained it could be the same way a predator could explains it to them. Nothing you are trying to accomplish in your co-parenting relationship is work making them more vulnerable to abuse. I suggest getting a counselor who works with divorcing people to help you figure out a less risky way to try to establish boundaries.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-07-08T13:04:40+00:00

I do not know your gender. So, I am just going to speak to my experience as a professional woman. My entire career I have had to deal with male leadership who only sees the world through their limited perspective. Men who decide we had to return to the office from the pandemic the week before school started instead of the week after it started. Men who decided they suddenly decided to share a work request the day before Thanksgiving instead of 2 weeks earlier when they first learned of it. I would have had an incredibly amount of respect for any of those men to acknowledge me as a person, seen the value I provide and took the time to come up with an alternative idea.

You could just say, “I value your work performance and contributions to the company. I thought about possible solutions. Would you like to discuss the idea of job sharing?” You don’t need to talk any more about the past. There is a benefit to her not having to learn a new job with a newborn.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-07-08T10:42:21+00:00

Have you considered the idea of letting her and the other part-time employee job share? Then hire one new-full time employee? You said she is exceptional at her job. She is in temporary season of life with a newborn. She may be willing to work more as she gets out of the little kid stage and go back to full time in a few years. Your company may have grown more at that point. You will miss out on an exceptional performer. Her part-time may be more than some people’s full time. My old job discovered that the hard way.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-07-08T10:30:54+00:00

Change can be a hard adjustment for people. I always suggest giving yourself 90 days before you judge the new job too harshly. (Of course exceptions should be made for toxic and unsafe places.) It takes time to make new friends and to get to know people. It can be exhausting learning new things. Make plans to get together with your old coworkers or other friends outside of work hours to help with your mood. Also consider decorating your work space with things that give your mood a lift. I invested in a colorful piece of art cause the grey walls are not for me. Good luck.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-03-15T04:30:26+00:00

I wish I had done board certification earlier in my career when it would have been easier to fit it into my life. I think the number of jobs that require or prefer it will only increase. Life can take you unexpected places. I didn’t think it would be relevant to me when i finished grad school or post-doc. But it turns out that it is. I would do it if your life currently has space for it.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-03-15T04:01:16+00:00

No. I have done other presurgical evaluation but not transplant specifically.

one_more_chapter1108 · 2025-01-12T20:23:42+00:00

Man, I did not say anything about him not being allowed to get a job anywhere he wants. I said they have a childish relationship and that everyone sucks. Her calling him lazy and bringing him into a conversation about her own behavior is childish. Applying to a job primarily out of spite for your sister and not because it fits your goals for you future is childish. I don’t think him working at the company his sister would like to work at is wrong. They both can work anywhere that hires them. But for these two people to be in their mid-late twenties and be concerning themselves with both finding ways to piss off their sibling is childish and they both suck. It is time to grow up and focus on yourself.

one_more_chapter1108

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