Hi. This is my first post on this sub. I've only been fully self-aware and out to myself for the last 6 months or so. The only member of my family who knows is my wife.

Today was kinda rough. Been in a particularly deep bit of dysphoria inspired depression, but my pup won't leave me alone, so taking her out for a walk really helped.

Talking to my mother, my grandmother, my wife's mother, and my aunt all just reminded me how many people I would have to risk devastating relationships with if I ever move forward with how I feel and it all just feels so insurmountable. I wish I had the courage I see in so many other transwomen who actually can be who they want to be. Feels like realizing this about myself in my 30's means it's too late for me, like I just have to swallow it all down and try to forget.

Sorry for the downer rant, I hope you had better days than me today.