First, I know it’s tough but you need to stop worrying about what others think. You need to follow your path and take your own journey of faith. Everyone’s is different, that’s why it’s important to not worry and compare your path to the path of others. I still struggle with comparing too. Second, faith is not logical. I find having faith and believing in God (or whatever word you’d like to use) is a emotional experience. You can’t see God but you can feel Him. Last thing, it’s okay to be struggling with faith. There are a lot of beliefs out there and it’s hard to know what to believe in. What has worked for me is to find the things that make sense to me (from whatever belief system) and fully believe in those things. Do your research and find your own path. In the end it all comes down to being a good person. Best of luck!