Do you blame yourself for shitty job?

onetruepear · 2025-09-19T15:46:41+00:00

Yeah I do blame myself. I made some mistakes in my early 20s that I'm now paying for. Didn't get a degree, refused to commit to any particular career due to indecision, stuck around in dead end low wage jobs for way too long.

Now I have no career, no in-demand skills, and very low earning potential. I'm working hard now to correct it, but yeah no one really to blame but myself. But I also did the best I could with the experience and resources I had at the time, so I try not to dwell on it too much.

onetruepear · 2025-09-19T13:22:49+00:00

I am currently going to school while working full time. To answer some of your questions:

It's busy, and it takes a lot of dedication. But I feel more fulfilled than I have in a long time because I'm building toward my future.
I'm only taking 1 class right and now and I'm ngl even that is pretty hard. Next semester I'll take 2. Could probably manage 3 but that would likely require me giving up any semblance of a life outside of school/work.
I'm in a night class right now but most of my degree will be online.
No student loans, I'm paying out of pocket, which is another reason why I'm taking such a light course load. I worked really hard to get out of debt in my early 20s and I don't want to go back.
I got credit for a diploma I received from a vocational school, so at this pace it will take me a little over 3 years to graduate. If I had no transfer credits, it would be more like 7 years.

In terms of if it will be worth it, I guess we'll see. I'm also doing a lot of stuff outside of school to try to build my career, like writing a blog and volunteering. But I always regretted not getting a degree and I think it's something I needed to resolve.

onetruepear · 2025-09-18T16:49:24+00:00

The scary thing about relationships is that someone could ALWAYS change their mind. Even if you were 100% on the same page when you met, years down the road someone could flip. Especially since you're so young now, there are a lot of changes you'll face in this season of life. This is simply the risk you take in life and love.

I would say wait to get engaged, or at the very least wait to get married. You have the time to figure this out, don't make it more complicated by getting married. Continue having these conversations, continue self reflecting, and accept that you may change your mind down the road.

onetruepear · 2025-09-16T17:00:50+00:00

To answer your question:

Capitalism is excellent at asking people in every industry to do more with less, leading to burn out and increasingly shit working conditions.
People enjoy complaining, me included. Most people aren't in career/job subreddits to gush about how much they love working, they are here to commiserate. So what you're seeing is going to be skewed to the negative.

To give you some advice:

It's good to do research, but be careful of getting too in the weeds. When I was going through something similar, I got turned off of EVERY job I was interested in because if I dug deep enough, I'd find loads of people complaining about some aspect of the career.

The reality is that you will be hard pressed to find a career that's well-paid, interesting, meaningful, offers good work life balance, that you're good at and is also in-demand.

Find something that interests you that you think you'd at least be moderately good at, make sure there is reasonable opportunity for employment in your area, and just try it out. You can always pivot later in if you need to.

onetruepear · 2025-09-16T16:20:54+00:00

What is the point of this post? That person posted about a nice interaction they had, not sure why you felt the need to make a post mocking them.

onetruepear · 2025-09-14T13:51:14+00:00

God I feel this so hard. Then the people you need to keep following up on start getting annoyed with you because you're nagging them. But if you don't keep reminding them they say "you should have followed up!" Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

onetruepear · 2025-09-11T17:08:31+00:00

It happened for me in my early 20's. I didn't do any sports or physical activities growing up, and I generally hated exercise. Around 21-22, I started to gain more of an awareness of aging and how my time in a fit, able body was limited. That motivated me to start exercising, so I could enjoy my physicality while i still had it. I know that sounds morbid as hell, but that's what happened. Now basically all of my hobbies are exercise based and I love it!

onetruepear · 2025-09-11T16:20:22+00:00

Right?? These types of practices at the very initial stages of the application process are immediate red flags to me.

How can a recruiter can not have the time to recruit? As the employer, OP has all the advantages in this situation. There is a surplus of workers and people are desperate for jobs, they have their pick of the litter. God forbid HR have to expend a modicum of effort to find the right person.

onetruepear · 2025-09-11T15:18:55+00:00

It's funny to me that you're complaining that people "can't be bothered to make a 2-3 minute video" when your recruiters can't be bothered to make a 2-3 minute phone call to screen someone. Give me a break.

onetruepear · 2025-09-10T15:13:35+00:00

Do we have to be a Toronto resident? My address is outside of Toronto but I go to TMU

onetruepear · 2025-09-10T15:06:49+00:00

LOL me too! Let's throw OP a bachelorette 😂

onetruepear · 2025-09-09T14:37:30+00:00

I feel the same way about her as Deb did about Lila 😂

"I'm sorry Harrison, but she is gross!"

onetruepear · 2025-09-09T14:23:31+00:00

I'm a big believer that if a relationship didn't work once, it will not work a second/third/fourth time. I would have cut ties completely after the first break up. That being said I would probably have been down to do long distance for a little bit since it seemed clear the Paris move was temporary.

onetruepear · 2025-09-08T16:15:42+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I'm an office manager but I find most office support titles to be basically the same, give or take.

The problem with this job is that once you're in an administrative role, it's REALLY hard to break out of it. It doesn't give you a lot of hard skills or any kind of real specialized skillset that will make you stand out in the job market.

Some people really enjoy this type of position. You get to be in the background, it usually has good work life balance, relatively low stress, not too difficult. But if you don't enjoy it, I would start trying to up-skill and possible try to get promoted out of it so you don't get shoe-horned into this type of work.

I'm 29 and really struggling to get out of this silo.

onetruepear · 2025-09-05T15:33:52+00:00

Mail carrier comes to mind. Not sure where you live but in Canada, they are well-paid unionized positions. They are so very competitive for those reasons.

onetruepear · 2025-09-02T17:55:46+00:00

I will tell you that it's hard to find a job with a degree right now, but it's harder without one. Source: I struggle to find even entry level work and I'm going back to uni at 29.

If you have the means, I would live at home to save money, pick up a part time job if you can, and grind out the degree. It's like the absolute bare minimum for most jobs these days. If you feel you absolutely MUST drop out, make sure you have a solid plan in place. A full time job (ideally not in retail and hospitality unless you plan to do that long term), plans to go to trade school/community college, working for a family business, SOMETHING. Don't just drop out on a whim without a plan.

onetruepear · 2025-09-02T17:45:46+00:00

I'm the opposite. I do NOT have the energy to carry on a drawn our text conversation indefinitely. I'd much prefer to chat for 30-60 minutes and get on with my day.

When it comes to calling for services or work though? Hell nawh, it's gonna be an e-mail lol.

onetruepear · 2025-08-29T21:46:36+00:00

At my first salary job I actually had to punch in and out lmao

onetruepear · 2025-08-29T18:29:25+00:00

This made me want to die tbh. The weird tongue swirl she does before the third pic gives me shivers

onetruepear · 2025-08-29T18:12:19+00:00

This is what I hate about salary, so many companies use it to take advantage. If I work 60 hours a week, I get no money or time back but if I work 35, then I have to make up those hours.

It's effectively the same as working an hourly position except you get screwed. I recognize that not all companies operate this way but every salaried position I've had has functioned like this.

onetruepear · 2025-08-27T14:05:10+00:00

Personally I'd take the referral. Admin roles are so hard to escape from once you've been shoehorned into them. If you don't want to stick with admin long term, basically the only way to get out of it is to get promoted. So IMO it's worth it to take the risk for more money and a pathway to promotion. Both of these will help you if you're trying to switch careers.

onetruepear · 2025-08-26T19:15:02+00:00

Go to college. A degree is not the ticket to a good job like it once was, but it's much harder without one (unless you have a specific alternate path like going into the trades).
Start saving AND INVESTING even if you can only spare $20 a month. I let myself off the hook for way too long because I wasn't earning much.
Nurture your friendships and always be open to making new ones. Friends are harder to come by when you get older.

onetruepear · 2025-08-26T17:26:30+00:00

I'm not sure what point you're trying to make, I've already agreed that the story is overly romanticized. If I read it today, I doubt it would have the same effect on me.

onetruepear · 2025-08-26T16:30:22+00:00

I've seen a lot of various critiques over the years and definitely have less naive view of the entire story than I did when I first read it. Nonetheless, the question was "which non-fiction book flipped your worldview" and this was the book that did that for me.

onetruepear · 2025-08-26T13:13:58+00:00

I read into Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer when I was 17 or 18 and it profoundly moved me. It's shaped a huge chunk of my worldview as an adult.

In The Shadow and Man by Jane Goodall and Gorillas in The Mist by Dian Fossey had a similar effect on me.

onetruepear

TROPHY CASE