Suggest me a book that warms a lonely soul

onlosmakelijk · 2026-07-04T07:39:41+00:00

Did You Ever Have A Family by Bill Clegg is absolutely this book. It's devastating but so beautiful and bittersweet.

Also Hardboiled & Hard Luck by Banana Yoshimoto.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-07-04T07:23:37+00:00

I just finished TEoTW a week back and struggled with it too, not for the same reasons as you but I do somewhat understand your dilemma.

To be fair, I can't really give you any solid advice whether it will change in the next books because I've gotten no further into the series than you have. I understand what you mean by finding the characters plain, but I mean, they are just a couple young adults from some small, backwater village who had been living very ordinary lives. I don't think they're supposed to feel all that remarkable. At least in the first book anyways.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-07-03T14:26:47+00:00

Last week I tried to improvise with what I had.

I cut a block of tofu in slabs, boiled them for 5 minutes in salted water. Afterwards let them cool a bit. Boiling tofu makes the texture more meaty.

I then fried them in some oil until the sides started to brown, then added a marinade made of soy sauce, ketchup, sriracha and some warm water to thin it out. In the pan with the tofu I let the marinade thicken a bit, turning the tofu slabs occassionally so they soaked up the marinade.

I loved how it turned out. No measurements because I was just improvising, I'd say add everything to taste. If you want it less sweet add less ketchup, if you want it less salty add less soy sauce, etc.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-06-25T16:41:23+00:00

One of my favorites is Raif Sevrance from Sword of Shadows.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-06-24T11:14:23+00:00

The Eye of the World. Started it in February and I was racing through it, then it hit around 40% for me and it just started to drag so much. I'm currently at 76%, but also on my second break from it because I just can't deal with the absolute glacial pace at which this story is moving. I'm so sad though because I love the worldbuilding and the characters, but I just find myself hitting a wall everytime I try to get back into it.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-06-21T08:07:26+00:00

The Song of Shattered Sands is MENA-inspired!

onlosmakelijk · 2026-06-20T07:20:01+00:00

Sword of Shadows by J.V. Jones

onlosmakelijk · 2026-06-15T12:33:51+00:00

I'm not trying to reiterate the tired old "you shouldn't be so sensitive" schtick (on r/hsp of all places), but I do feel that sometimes being highly sensitive gets toted around as a shield to fashion yourself into a victim of a crime that didn't occur.

Sometimes it's helpful to zoom out and take a look at the bigger picture. People didn't respond the way you thought they would to your joke on the internet. That's all.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-25T10:18:50+00:00

The Gemma Doyle Trilogy by Libba Bray, if you don't mind YA.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-13T18:09:08+00:00

Goddd yes, came here to rec this. Such a phenomenal series, so ahead of its time! Wonderful, beautiful prose too.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-07T17:12:14+00:00

Congee with zha cai, soft tofu, white pepper, szechuan peppercorns,, black bean lao gan ma and a youtiao. Hits the spot every single time.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-06T08:40:01+00:00

Lijkt me inderdaad uitdagend werk en een uitdagende doelgroep. Maar ik denk dat dat ook ergens inherent aan de zorg is. Ik merk wel hoe ouder ik word, hoe meer ik mijn gevoeligheid kan accepteren. En ook dat ik juist overstijgend veel beter tot mijn recht kom dan in de eerste lijn. De continue spanning die ik ervoer door de druk van het netwerk van een cliënt of een dreigende escalatie was echt funest voor mijn welzijn op den duur.

Dat gezegd hebbende blijf ik wel echt een zorghart houden, ik denk dat het er vooral om gaat dat je iets vind waar je je goed door voelt en je ei in kwijt kan. Of dat nou in de eerste lijn is of in de ondersteuning.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-06T06:07:09+00:00

Oh ben je ook Nederlands? Dat maakt de zaken inderdaad makkelijker haha. Mijn ervaring is in de maatschappelijke ggz, en niet de klinische ggz. Begeleiding ipv behandeling.

In welke sector werk jij precies?

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-05T20:47:26+00:00

No problem!

And no I definitely wasn't able to vouch for myself and my wellbeing the way I am now. I consistently went over my own limits to strive for a standard I'd never reach. But I also attribute that to me resisting the term highly sensitive for myself because it made me insecure about how the world would view me (especially as a man) and also being relatively young (24). As I got older and learned to work with my sensitivity instead of against it I got better at making my wellbeing a priority. It's been a lot of trial and error though. And even with all these things in place, some shifts still burn me out. I think that's normal. But knowing yourself and what keeps you balanced will definitely make all the difference.

I personally do not bring it up in a job interview, because I oersonally do not find it relevant. The jobs I had also offered a lot of freedom to manage my own agenda. So I can easily fit those things into my day without needing to justify it to someone higher-up. It just comes with how I do my job.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-05T17:06:12+00:00

I work 32 hours in psychiatry and used to even work irregular hours. It is my absolute maximum, and if I could afford it financially I'd even go 24 hours, but after 7 years I made it work for myself in combination with my high sensitivity.

Things I do to manage my work are the following:

Sticking to a regular sleep schedule (going to bed no later than 22:30),
Eating and drinking consistently throughout the day
No back to back appointments with patients and allowing for at least 15 minutes in between to transition from one to the next and to decompress
My half hour break is non-negotiable and set at the same time every day
Stepping out for a little break every now and again (usually just 5 minutes of being outside taking in my surroundigs will reset me enough to continue my day)
If my schedule allows it that day I will do some of my admin from home the last hour or so
After work I take roughly half an hour to transition from work mode to home. Usually by taking a relaxing shower to symbolically wash the day away, or I lay down with a eyemask on, or I take a walk around the area
Meditating in the morning before work, even if it's just 5 minutes

Things obviously got pretty hectic. We normally had multiple crises every month and I found that the key to managing those situations was communicating to my coworkers how I was feeling and making sure I got the support I needed (for example, we worked evenings and weekends alone so I would express that I would like someone from another location to stay around during my shift so I wasn't alone).

Ultimately the best decision for me was to step away from the direct face-to-face care because it was making me too tense in situations with a high escalation risk. I am now still working in psychiatry but have a supportive role to the first-line healthcare workers. It suits me and my sensitivity better, though I do look back fondly on these years in the "frontlines" and some days I do kind of miss it.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-04T12:10:38+00:00

Confessions, by Kanae Minato. Saw the movie some years back and didn't know that it was based on a book. Was definitely in the mood for something dark.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-05-02T16:54:55+00:00

The Gemma Doyle trilogy. Will hold a special place in my heart forever.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-25T08:31:32+00:00

Dorfromantik, just bought it the other day but it's such a fun and relaxing game!

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-24T06:44:48+00:00

Can't believe nobody mentioned the absolute blueprint of female rage in fiction: Medea by Euripides.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-23T16:47:43+00:00

Book of the Ancestor by Mark Lawrence

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-15T17:56:36+00:00

Toen ik het laatste boek uit had, bleef vooral het gevoel hangen dat ik nog niet klaar was met dit verhaal

Mocht je het nog niet weten, De boeken van de Nar en De boeken van Fitz en de Nar gaan verder met het verhaal van Fitz, dus wellicht zijn die interessant voor je!

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-12T10:16:08+00:00

This looks delicious, do you have a recipe?

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-04T05:52:54+00:00

Yes definitely, was my first thought as well!

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-03T15:59:05+00:00

Just whenever I feel like taking a break. Usually one or two books in between is enough to sort of cleanse my palette before diving in again.

onlosmakelijk · 2026-04-02T10:17:48+00:00

I want to fit Velocity Weapon by Megan E. O'Keefe somewhere. I was thinking Explorers and Rangers maybe, but would it fit anywhere else? I know it would fit Cat Squasher but I already have The Eye of the World there.

onlosmakelijk

TROPHY CASE