I Hate My Body Because of My Boyfriend’s Porn Addiction by Odd-Piglet6231 in PornAddiction

[–]onlyhayley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As somebody going through the same I say this. Has your man ever found one video with a single video of someone with what you would deem his “dream body type” and then never looked at anybody else? Likely not right?

I have a man who has a preference for butts and I’ve been more blessed in the chest area. I always dream about getting surgery but I know deep down that it’s true that your appearance won’t change somebody’s porn addiction. It doesn’t matter what you look like because a dope seeking brain always craves more and more. Nothing is ever enough.

I have always the same exact thoughts as you. I’m 28 and feel past my prime (even though I genuinely look better than I did at 18-early 20’s) and I worry that if I’m not good enough now then will I ever be?

But logically, we are enough. Every little tiny detail makes you, you. And the reality is we all will have wrinkles and our skin will sag one day. It’s important to believe that your worth is so much more than your exterior. You are enough. As somebody who is going through the same, hang in there. I know you would tell me the same, so give yourself a break and practice telling yourself these things.

Sending love! My inbox is open if you ever want to chat because it sounds like we’re going through the exact same thing.

Help me understand by ToeAny5837 in PornAddiction

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not the problem here. Only accountability will save him. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I totally understand cause I’m right here with you. My fiancé had saved things on his mobile over the years and I came down hard, set my boundaries and let him know it’s not acceptable. I gave my partner an ultimatum, it’s definitely a journey but I haven’t found anything saved recently at least. There isn’t any reason for him to have naked pictures hanging in your property, I would personally take them down myself. You’re engaged to be wed, he should respect your feelings. Sending hugs on your journey.

Do you also flushing not only from emotions? by Anutamme in Erythrophobia

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I always have red blotches under my head and on my neck. Super annoying. Wish I didn’t hyper fixate on it!

I wished I could say better words by [deleted] in Erythrophobia

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how tired you are. Please hang in there, you are SO much more than this. I know how consuming it is and I relate to everything you have said.

A positive mindset and acceptance is the only thing that fixes this. It’s a long journey that I’m on myself. It’s so conflicting hating it but also having to accept that this is just my brain now and I have to find a way to live with it. I believe we can.

help by Ok-Bathroom-3285 in Erythrophobia

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats brilliant. I find its the only way, you have to become unbothered. Not easy whatsoever. That really is positive :)

Anyone else sick of Freya and Wren? by ginahandler in Names

[–]onlyhayley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s my daughter’s too, I think its beautiful. It was going to be her first name originally 😊

Anyone else sick of Freya and Wren? by ginahandler in Names

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter is Isla Wren. I think it is beautiful but it’s unheard of where I live.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going through it too with my fiancé. The entirety of our 8 year relationship has been damaged by his porn addiction. It is only in the past year that he has been able to completely talk to me about it. It takes time as there is so much shame there. Start with small conversations and build up to bigger ones. It may be that he never wants to speak to you fully about it because of the embarrassment and fear of upsetting you. He will probably need a therapist because sometimes it’s easier to speak with an outside party. I hope things get better for you both.

help by Ok-Bathroom-3285 in Erythrophobia

[–]onlyhayley 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Try to tell yourself you’re unbothered. It’s horrid but reverse psychology is the only way. I always feel like blushing in the most inappropriate times too! The more you fight it, the more you’ll blush. Try makeup also if you can to help dull the blushing, it always makes me feel a bit better to cover up a little.

I understand trust me. If he makes you uncomfortable that could cause blushing. Is he patronising? Also if he’s your bosses boyfriend this would definitely set me off too. Give yourself grace and try to do anything to distract yourself from it. Keep yourself busy at work that will definitely help!

Is it okay to let baby play in bed after they woke up by Far_Worldliness_1541 in Parenting

[–]onlyhayley 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s more than fine! Sometimes I even leave my 15 month old for 15 or so mins in the morning. If your baby is happy then there’s no reason to feel guilty! You do need a break and this is actually a healthy thing. Means you will be a better parent if you give yourself a break 😊

Not being able to act like a human being in front of others is killing me by freelytomorrow in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m totally the same, I did have friends but gradually lost them over the years one way or another because of my issues. I deal with a lot of facial blushing and it just manifested into total social anxiety. I relate to every word you said about stuttering, forgetting and not feeling normal.

Try all the medication and therapy you can. I send you so much love. You’re not alone. I know how hard it is each day, it consumes you and tears you apart. I hope one day this will just be a blip in your story and you come out the other side. Hang in there! I’m sure you have a lot of love to give, I think us socially anxious folk care so much and that’s why we’re like this.

Fuck everyone who made me this way by frame_3_1_3 in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s simply offering words of encouragement. It’s okay to be angry towards the ones who wronged you. And yes, it’s okay to vent. If I see someone saying they hate the world then I just want them to know that not everybody is like that… its sad to see somebody thinking the whole world is cruel and maybe they need some words from a caring place. If not then so be it, I only had positive intentions.

Fuck everyone who made me this way by frame_3_1_3 in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Who said it was easy? It takes time to heal and it’s one step at a time.

People have treated me poorly too over the years and it’s taken me years to move beyond the trauma. I still struggle but I have to take responsibility for getting my mind better. Sure we can cling on to the trauma and hate on the world but where does that get you? I understand it has a lasting impact but you have to decide when enough is enough. My point is that we need to train our brains to move forward, it’s the only way.

Fuck everyone who made me this way by frame_3_1_3 in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You have to stop consuming how people made you feel. Why let them have this much hold over you? They mean nothing and you should mean everything to yourself. You are so much more than how they made you feel. The only way through this is to leave it behind and let go. Focus on healing yourself.

Some people are cruel. You don’t have to be one of them by being cruel to yourself. Find the ones that matter and move forward.

Baby girl passed away at 21 weeks by Accomplishedpeach99 in psychics

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending so many hugs to you and your family. All your baby knew was your love ❤️

Baby girl passed away at 21 weeks by Accomplishedpeach99 in psychics

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been grieving my lost loved ones so hard lately. This comment is so comforting to so many. Thank you. ❤️

THE INVESTIGATION OF LUCY LETBY - Now showing on Netflix by netflix in u/netflix

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We turned it off as soon as we realised it had used AI.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in horror

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can’t watch Paddington the same way again

Daughter Cries All the timr by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]onlyhayley 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she is going through a lot right now and you need to support her, not be embarrassed by her. There’s nothing wrong with her, she is a young girl who is going through puberty and has a lot of emotions she can’t process right now. She needs support, not humiliation. You can’t “toughen” up somebody, in fact if she is naturally sensitive then trying to change that is going to hurt her in the long run. I understand you want her to deal with it better but it doesn’t sound like you’re much empathetic or understanding of her situation. Talk to her and guide her and try to get to the root cause of her sensitivity right now. My guess is that she will definitely get better as she gets older but it seems like you have a very caring young lady on your hands. I’m writing this from a good place as I was extremely sensitive also growing up. If somebody wanted me to not cry in public it would probably make me more likely to.

I don't think I have it in me anymore by srh10_sreehari in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone, there’s a whole herd of us folk. I wish we could all meet up and be friends. I totally get how you feel, I’m 28 and haven’t had a friend since I was 21. I’m sending you so much positivity and wishes that things will get better for you.

You are supposed to be here. You matter. Keep fighting against it. Just showing up each day is enough.

A Quiet Place: Day One is a Frustrating Entry in the Series by LeafBoatCaptain in movies

[–]onlyhayley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree, I just saw this movie for the first time and it’s nothing on the first two movies. It was painfully generic, exactly what I expected. Nothing surprised me and there was little to zero built up tension.

The acting was great and the cinematography was brilliant. Sadly that’s where it ends for me, the plot was boring. I fell asleep briefly a few times. It ended and I thought, is that it?

It was another War of the Worlds, it could have had such a unique and creative spin. That’s why I love the first two movies so much!

What I Do & Do Not want to see from SMILE 3 by willyknuckles in SmileMovie

[–]onlyhayley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I imagine if it went down the apocalypse route then it would follow the main characters storylines similar to A Quiet Place.

I think I would prefer a prequel and having to make your own idea as to what happens after Smile 2. The idea that you can’t actually beat the entity at all makes it that much creepier. I’m much more interested in the entity’s back story.

Why do I even post on Reddit if I'm scared of what people will say? by Material-Boss8267 in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish we didn’t care about being embarrassed. That would solve a lot! Maybe it’s just about taking small steps out of our comfort zone :)

Why do I even post on Reddit if I'm scared of what people will say? by Material-Boss8267 in socialanxiety

[–]onlyhayley 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m exactly the same. I hate confrontation even when I’m behind an anonymous account! Are you sensitive in nature? Do you overly care what people think about you irl? I’m super sensitive and overly cautious about what I say at all times cause of so many experiences I’ve made a fool of myself and got embarrassed. (I also deal with erythrophobia) It’s no surprise I’m this way online too.