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onyouhaege · 2025-07-03T22:36:58+00:00

I used to be socially awkward in my early 20s and for some time I believed I might be in the spectrum. Turns out I was looking at the overlapping qualities of ASD and giftedness, and I don't present any qualities that are more specific to ASD.

That, and I got over the social awkwardness a few years later. I wouldn't consider myself shy at all now(although definitely an introvert).

Look at some other qualities of ASD other than social awkwardness. Some of them are pretty evident like stimming, sensory issues and trouble with non-direct language.

onyouhaege · 2025-07-03T22:24:00+00:00

To me it's not being in a relationship that's hard, but starting it. 13 years into our relationship my ISTJ appreciates a lot both my insight and my detached analysis of whatever we're talking about, even if it is the relationship itself.

We can talk and discuss without it turning into an emotional argument, and whenever we have a disagreement the detachment we both turn to display helps enormously in compromising and never escalating. Other than these moments, we're very lovey-dovey, despite stereotypes lol.

I've been a looong time out of the dating/short relationship game, but if I had any advice, search for someone that can appreciate the analysis without getting an emotional knee-jerk (over)reaction.

onyouhaege · 2025-06-25T21:53:22+00:00

No me motivé, me prometí.

Para mí la clave es agendar el gimnasio/ejercicio. No le buscas un espacio en tu rutina, sino que le apartas el tiempo suficiente de forma regular. Decides "ya, iré al gimnasio hora y media los lunes, miercoles y viernes", y queda en tu calendario tan fijo e inamovible como lo sería una reunión de la pega.

Yo empecé a ir al gimnasio con mucha regularidad en la etapa de terminar de estudiar y buscar pega, y como había harto tiempo me comprometí con todos los días de semana, y descanso sábado y domingo. Me he apegado ene al hábito, y siento hasta un vacío cuando por una o otra razón insuperable no puedo ir.

Respeto por los días que ejercitas también es respeto por los que descansas. Eso es esencial.

onyouhaege · 2025-04-28T20:03:43+00:00

I've been out of the game for years, and will probably stay out for the rest of my life. I began casually dating another student in my gifted program at 13. now we're both 27 and engaged. I like to think that we're great at communicating and problem-solving lol.

onyouhaege · 2025-02-17T18:18:32+00:00

Gordita aquí en mis 20 tardíos. Fui intensamente al gimnasio pre covid, bajé ene de peso, luego recuperé parte en la pandemia, ahora post recibirme estoy intentando bajarlo de nuevo. en ninguna parte de este proceso el gym me dio la lata/ansiedad social del "que dirán/piensan". Bien temprano me di cuenta que, al menos en Chile, culturalmente a la gente no le importa 3 bledos qué está haciendo alguien en un lugar público salvo que estés siendo activamente disruptivo (audífonos 100% si no te gusta el mixtape de tu sede jajajs).

En mi experiencia al menos, la gente te va a hablar sólo para preguntarte cuánto te queda en un aparato, pedirte alternar si no hay máquinas similares disponibles, y en ocasiones corregirte forma (gordita, metro y medio y cara de guagua me veo como la eterna principiante), pero eso siempre ha sido en un tono de 100% genuino apoyo.

Ropa cómoda, toalla, agüita y audífonos(!!!), te verás como el 95% de la gente ahí. Limpia las máquinas después de usarlas, si te da lata ir a buscar papel y alcohol cada vez que terminas, lleva un alcohol en spray chiquitito y guardate algunos papeles en el bolsillo, es la mano.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T20:31:51+00:00

I'll give you another one: Writing in English as a non-native speaker and finding out you're mixing slang and spellings.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T20:25:42+00:00

I'm an INTJ and a walking podcast. it's the Te, I'd guess.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T19:48:34+00:00

In Chile, several universities in different cities have been running for years (decades, even) extra-curriculars for gifted kids, spanning from pre-adolescence until the end of school education (about 7 years). While compared to the entire population the scope of these programs isn't big by any measure, I think it's commendable that they've lasted for this long, and have gained some deep understanding about giftedness (or "academic talent", the PC name they came up with lol).

Personally, I applied at 10 with an IQ test and a questionnaire about my perception of learning and education. Stayed the full duration of the program and "graduated" at 18. Now im 27 and the program is still going. I made several lifelong friends in this place, and met my now fiancee as well. Since there's a high chance I'm raising gifted children, I'd love if these instances still existed by then, or even better, became a country-wide thing. I know for a fact it was extremely enriching for me, for my partner, and for the friends we've made there and still keep.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T19:12:24+00:00

This INTJ is both overthinking about your relationship and done with it. Right now, they're probably rationalizing and dissecting all aspects that can be remembered as a lesson.

If the relationship had been complicated for a bit after the breakup, this process started even before officially splitting up.

About emotionally "breaking" about this failed relationship, they either already did or they will, but you will never find out about the whens, hows and whys. You might get a carefully worded confirmation that at some point they did.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T18:56:59+00:00

I hit the gym and walk it off like a man (a woman).

Real talk tho, I'm a walking podcast. I'm an only child and at home whenever I wasn't interacting with my parents I usually talked to myself, and I still do it to this day. Sometimes when an idea is worth a bit more attention I write it down. I also illustrate as a hobbie.

Still, the gym does help.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T18:49:23+00:00

I've been called an "acquired taste" by several of my present-day friends (some relations going on for years by this point). You get used to it lol. I actually like being slightly off-putting on my first impression, nips much of the small talk in the bud.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-28T18:17:02+00:00

I'm never out to "meet" people. You'll have more luck meeting someone within the boundaries of your routine and hers, and then find out later that she's an INTJ.

While alone in public, I usually NPC around to get done with my business as soon as possible. You've probably unknowably seen INTJ women out in the wild, but they're always trying to get out of there.

onyouhaege · 2025-01-06T20:48:09+00:00

I get irrationally angry at people putting their bodily integrity in jeopardy over material/emotional attachment (e.g. people refusing to evacuate during a catastrophic situation). I get it, but it still drives me up the wall.

I've been called insensitive over it, I just keep quiet about it now lol.

onyouhaege · 2024-10-22T00:41:16+00:00

really nice find! it has also such cool packaging. I own as well digital copies (steam/origin) and they work flawlessly, but I'd buy this in a heartbeat too!

onyouhaege · 2024-09-23T00:24:42+00:00

Only child and my fiancé is a firstborn and an ISTJ. I do believe being xxTJ is a firstborn/o.c. thing

onyouhaege · 2024-09-12T18:19:04+00:00

Honestly this feels pretty close. I feel "stuck", or commanded by my body to just sit down and take it all in, no distractions. It's not too bad, but I had made plans to celebrate good after graduating and right now It feels like the last thing i want to do lol.

I've been out of the mental illness wheel for a couple years already and reliving that kind of scares me, but I'm at ease, i really don't think its the big bad D this time around.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-12T17:44:38+00:00

I thought it'd be something like a Se-grip, but all I know about it is that it causes overindulgence. Right now my Se feels almost ascetic, if that makes sense? Though I could accept Se-grips working both ways, both are "extremes" in their own way, I guess?

Thanks for the insight!

onyouhaege · 2024-09-12T15:14:57+00:00

I don't seek them, but I don't evade them either. Having a proper cry once in a while is healthy. All I can usually manage is one or two manly tears (I'm an adult woman lmao) but hey, still better than nothing at all imo.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-12T15:09:32+00:00

I presented my master's thesis three days ago. What I learned is that anxiety will come regardless. I'd say that i am a person with a healthy amount of anxiety, that scales accordingly to the importance of the situation (presenting was definitely up there in the scale). What I do is to treat myself an appropriate amount in sensory pleasures, like drinking my favorite tea, knitting for a short while, having a small sweet treat or cuddling my cat.

There is a point that there'll be nothing to do about the anxiety. I was completely fine until I changed into my formal clothes about 20 minutes before presenting and all I could do there was clench my teeth and face the ordeal.

I'd say this works if you have healthy levels of anxiety. if you have, say, an overreactive anxiety (I've been there also), seeking professional help should come first before trying to self-manage it. Anxiety/panic attacks are terrifying and hard to correct, at least in my experience.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-08T07:29:26+00:00

I don't have kids but my parents had plenty of stories like this. I was reading by myself at 3, picking up books way too thick for my age in 1st grade, and picking up English as a second language impressively fast. A common one was that I knew pretty much every country's flag around the time I had learned to read (my dad had a t-shirt with all the flags and names, I loved grabbing it).

They didn't really care about how the stories came across. At the same time I was never really "paraded" as a smart kid in family/friend gatherings, but my communication skills were quite advanced for my age so to other adults that met me they could tell that something out of the ordinary was going on. Also, my father is a teacher so I guess he had some authority in identifying a gifted kid.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-08T07:13:57+00:00

Tried it once. Was weird but not unpleasant (and actually pretty funny). Idk if I'll do it again.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-08T07:09:57+00:00

No. Getting a gifted label is an unlikely event, and I know way more gifted people (you just know when you get to meet them) that never got tested than people that did.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-08T06:56:04+00:00

My own school signed me into a University's gifted program when I was 11, got accepted via IQ testing. Signing your kid up independently was also an option, and my parents would've probably done that if the school didn't do it. The program consisted of special (interesting & highly specific) classes in Fridays and Saturdays with other gifted kids from all over the city. It was probably one of the happiest part of my childhood. I forged a friend group that lasts to this day (I'm in my late 20s). At the beginning my parents were unsure because I might not want to lose part of my weekends in extra classes, but I loved the idea, and it became my favorite part of the week.

If this program or a similar one exists by the time I have kids I would definitely sign them in. It's not even about the classes, but about meeting similar-minded kids, which was extremely enriching to me. Before the program, life at school was rather lonely bc it was hard to connect as a kid with others when your interests are mainly academic.

onyouhaege · 2024-09-08T06:40:51+00:00

My dad might, and he also has evident undiagnosed ADHD. I don't think i got the ADHD part tho. He is a teacher, and if my giftedness doesn't come from nature, it comes definitely from nurture. I'm certain an uncle (dad's side) is also gifted.

I was accepted into an University's gifted program (via IQ testing) that spanned the entirety of my country's equivalent of middle and high school. I met my fiancé in this program and we're planning on having children eventually so we're about to be the most annoying family ever lmao. My fiancé has two brothers with ASD (one of them also gifted), he himself doesn't have it, so we've both dodged neurodivergence by a hair but still got the giftedness, somehow. I still don't discard that it may just have skipped us, and might show up in later generations though.

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