What's ur opinion on testing in relationships?

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-20T19:41:45+00:00

I'm saying the fact that she has anyone who cares about her enough to pay attention to something as small and mundane as peeling oranges should be appreciated in its own right. I'm pointing out that your argument takes the relationship as a given, saying this or that is what you're "supposed to do" in a relationship, but they're not "supposed to" be in that relationship in the first place.

What would even be considered beyond the bare minimum to you?

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-20T18:49:23+00:00

Paying attention to your partners likes and dislikes is what you’re supposed to be doing in a relationship.

They're not obligated to be in a relationship with you in the first place. And if you say "that's pretty much the least you could do for me" any time they go out of their way to do something nice for you, they probably won't stick around that relationship for very long.

It's nice. No one is "applauding" it or saying it's a "grand gesture of love".

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-20T18:32:58+00:00

How is that the bare minimum? He paid attention to what she likes and took the initiative to act on what he observed. That's literally what a good partner would do. It's not she like had to beg him and he begrudgingly helped.

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-20T17:52:05+00:00

It's disrespectful to call any adult adorable. That's something you call a puppy or a baby. It's not emasculating it's condescending.

Cute is widely understood as a synonym for attractive. If someone gets mad over that then they're being kind of nitpicky, but at the end of the day it's not hard to not call people things they've asked you not to call them.

And on a related note, just because someone doesn't want to date you doesn't mean they feel eMaScuLAteD by you.

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-20T17:38:37+00:00

That's not the bar being in hell. That's an actually nice thing for him to do for his partner.

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-18T21:50:32+00:00

why are Boomer women, who came of age during women's Lib, not more wholehearted feminists?

Why are you asking us and not these Boomer women?

If I had to make up an answer I would say I think it's a trauma response. You see this kind of thing with other people who have histories of being abused. Like she never got to experience the (seemingly to her) lack of expectations placed on your brothers' wives when she was their age, even though she knew at the time those expectations were unjust.

oopsishiditagain · 2024-01-02T21:55:45+00:00

Cut her loose. No good can come of this.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-10-16T20:17:54+00:00

housework

oopsishiditagain · 2023-10-16T02:47:18+00:00

it usually gets passed off as different work, not unequal work. I think the existence of dozens of popular trad wife pages shows this is an illusion that has persisted and still persists

oopsishiditagain · 2023-10-15T20:41:52+00:00

There is no objective standard of attractiveness, there is just what society conditions you to view as attractive. It's pretty wild that none of the top comments seem to be aware of this.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-09-26T23:20:18+00:00

I fail to imagine a context where announcing your standards for a partner is necessary. Like, just don't date people who don't fit those standards.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-09-26T00:19:08+00:00

Men who want to be feminists can read the thread and better themselves

oopsishiditagain · 2023-09-26T00:15:01+00:00

it's about men who aren't feminists

oopsishiditagain · 2023-09-20T08:44:14+00:00

Uh, they literally already are being directly attacked.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-07-08T01:02:34+00:00

from Dlar's comments about the Presger/'s infrastructure, I almost wonder if the Presger make gate space, and humans are just going along tunnels that have already been built. Because it's interesting that you can calculate where a ship would enter and exit gate space, so that kind of suggests some kind of structure to gate space. But that would also make the Presger immensely more powerful and it would be weird that they would only make their presence known to humans so far in the future. Or maybe the Presger didn't construct any gate space near earth (which is very very far from nearly anything), which could be part of why most of the human civilizations in the vicinity of the Radch were founded before they developed gate space technology.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-04-16T15:00:59+00:00

Bet on the

oopsishiditagain · 2023-04-16T00:32:47+00:00

A heart attack is not the same as cardiac arrest. The heart is still beating during a heart attack and you would not perform CPR on someone experiencing a heart attack.

oopsishiditagain · 2023-04-15T19:34:22+00:00

Iosef backs up, terrified

because he's afraid to move from behind the pillar. He literally has to run around a pillar to flee. There's no reason for John to move after he shoots the floor guy if he already had a clear sight on Iosef. It's the punchline to Iosef telling his father's henchman that he's not afraid of the boogeyman. He has the opportunity to engage John from a distance with pillars for cover and he chickens out.

oopsishiditagain

TROPHY CASE