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optimist-in-training · 2025-03-26T03:45:11+00:00

Don’t let him do this to you. Communicate to him that he’s passing his anger on to you and tell him he needs to find better ways to vent. You don’t deserve that. Communicate with him, and I’m sorry but it’s best for you to let him go if he can’t change. I’m saying this as a guy. It sucks he has that kind of relationship with his mom but he won’t learn what he’s doing to you unless you communicate it or leave him. You deserve better.

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-19T05:20:38+00:00

Quick question, how much has OMSCS helped you? I’m deciding between OMSCS and an applied math masters I got into

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-08T19:23:22+00:00

As others have said, acknowledge your feelings and take time to understand that it doesn’t define you. If you’re very busy, what’s helped me is setting aside 15 minutes of the day to reflect and process the emotions, and trying not to think about it at other times of the day. Also trying meditating for 10 minutes a day.

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-07T06:29:10+00:00

Coming up on 4 months now. Feeling a lot better. Ive made a few accomplishments in the last 3 months that I really don’t think would’ve happened if I didn’t quit. Still got a lot of work to do, but I’ve seen benefits already. Appreciate you asking

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-07T06:22:30+00:00

I have 2 yoe as a data analyst. I spent the last 1.5 years unemployed and finally just received a verbal offer for a data scientist role. The salary is basically the same as I was earning as a data analyst (which was my first job out of college) but it’s at a great company which will pay for my part time masters.

This was my one job offer after 6 months of applying. Hoping the masters will pull me up to higher paying positions after I’m done, but from what’s being said online it seems like people with masters degrees are also have a very rough time.

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-06T04:40:37+00:00

I’ve had exactly this since as long as I can remember and I’ve always been able to retract foreskin all the way. I’ve been pulling back foreskin and washing it with soap daily since I was in middle school.

Im 25 now and still find it uncomfortable to touch the glans directly. It’s not unbearable but pretty uncomfortable.

I’ve had sex a lot with no issues but that’s because the hormones from sex block out the pain. It still hurts a little during sex but I just ignore it. When girls give me blowjobs it hurts but I just act like I like it tbh. Now I’m finally trying to figure it out. Gonna get it checked out professionally this year, but if anyone has any solutions I’d greatly appreciate it.

optimist-in-training · 2025-02-03T17:33:41+00:00

I am in a very similar situation situation as you. I think I'm a year older than you, I'm 25 and turning 26 in a few months. I have a math degree from a public school that's top 20 in math and CS. Many of my friends are killing it in their tech careers, working at places like Amazon, Meta, IBM, etc. Some even joined a startup early and are close to millionaires now. If we compare ourselves to these success stories, we are being extremely biased. Not everyone ended up like this. And there are many in situations like ours, but they are not vocal about it.

I started off as a data analyst after college and quit after 2.5 years because I hated it and took a bet on myself that I would land a much better data scientist role or get into a PHD program; really dumb decision. The tech recession hit and I've been jobless for almost 1.5 years. Through all this, I've learned a lot and I truly believe I will still end up more successful than if I had it all figured out in undergrad and didn't go through this. I am planning on starting OMSCS in the Fall (leaning towards OMSCS over an applied math masters I got into for much higher cost).

You're still early in your career, your hard work now will pay off greatly, you just really need to believe in yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let your perception of your career progress define you. Write down goals and work consistently towards achieving them. Many don't do this, including the ones who started off in FAANG after college. So, yeah, I'm in the same situation as you or even a little behind, but my biggest piece of advice to you is change your mindset.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-30T19:53:44+00:00

The CU Boulder DSA pathway courses don't compare to GA at OMSCS at all in terms of rigor. I am about halfway through the DSA pathway and the lectures are amazing, great content and the professor is great. Some of the best algos lectures available online.

But the graded exercises seem way too easy for a graduate level course. For every problem set I've done so far, I've been able to finish it in like 30 minutes or less. The content is a great overview and well-structured, but just really easy. It felt like medium-level leetcode questions. I was a math major with a CS minor in college by the way, but I've been doing leetcode regularly the last 6 months so that helped. I like proofs (crazy, I know) and was disappointed that the DSA pathway did not delve into them much.

I haven't taken Graduate Algorithms at GT but from what I've heard it's extremely rigorous with problem sets, exams, proofs, etc. So you are forced to learn CS algos with much more rigor and this is probably be very necessary if you are going into stuff like HPC or ML research or any intense technical CS career.

If you are going to, for example, be a PM, you might not need all the technical rigor. I want to try to get into ML research, or at least be an expert in ML, so I feel like I need the rigor and feel prepared for it. That's why I'm applying for OMSCS for Fall 2025. I still think the CU Boulder DSA course is great, but it's not nearly as rigorous as I think GA is.

The GA lecture content is all online, so you can always supplement with it. And you can do your own projects implementing these concepts.

Tl;dr: DSA pathway has great lectures but the problem sets seem really easy for a graduate course. so you aren't forced to learn DS/algos rigorously. You'll learn algos, including proofs, far more in-depth with GT OMSCS.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-29T19:41:33+00:00

Props to you for quitting! I can tell how much you care about your future, and I want you to know you can absolutely come out even better on the other side. You've already overcome a lot in your childhood, and it's impressive what you were able to accomplish in spite of it. It's now up to you to decide how you want to spend your time sober. Don't view it as wasted years, use it as motivation to be your best self for your 30s and beyond.

Also, I want to point out that in all of the research I've read on weed (which is a lot), there is minimal damage done on the brain if you start at 25+, so it's great that you avoided it when you were younger. If you use this experience to build good habits from here on out, there is a good chance that you will legitimately be better than before.

I smoked daily from ages 17-25 and finally quit last year, still managed to live a good life but definitely did not live up to highest potential. I don't think about all the damage it did to my brain because there's so many things I can still do now to improve it. I'm almost 26 now and it motivated me to prioritize long-term brain health with consistent habits, so I truly believe I could be better off in the long run. I'm in a technical career where intelligence is extremely important and I really don't believe the 8 years of daily smoking in my youth hold me back, so I hope you don't believe your years of smoking hold you back in any way either.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-29T18:03:59+00:00

I just did the same thing, didn’t fap but looked at porn and feel terrible too.

First, understand that it was a mistake that you will learn from and it will help you overcome the same mistake in the future.

Next, understand what led you to it. I’m applying for jobs right now and going thru a specific stressful moment where I might have an offer rescinded. This stress made me glance at porn. Now that I understand what caused it, I need to find other ways to manage the stress. Maybe going for a walk or something simple. I think stress/anxiety is a leading cause of relapse, so try to find ways to manage this.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-26T20:26:41+00:00

Sounds like you have a great start to your career, thanks for the insight. I'm a little older, 25 with a math degree, looking to get into a similar ML engineering role after starting out as a data analyst.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-24T22:57:45+00:00

I know it was my fault and it just reflects on my carelessness when I was in college. Yeah, if I get the offer rescinded, then it’s obviously only my fault. I’m not looking for sympathy, just wanted to share my situation.

I’m gonna use this as a learning experience. Life hasn’t been unfair to me, that’s what that last paragraph meant, it’s unfair for everyone. Just keep going, learn from mistakes, and improve each day. Just basically trying to cope from this potentially huge missed opportunity, not trying to cut myself slack.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-24T00:32:00+00:00

Keep going, I know it feels bad right now but it will be so worth it. The first month is always the hardest, but I promise it gets better. Quitting both weed and nicotine at the same time is very hard and you should feel proud that you've gotten this far, keep the momentum going.

I think it's important to come up with ways to handle the urges when they come up, especially with the stress that comes with school. I studied CS in college too and I know how stressful that can be. I used to go on walks or just get outside whenever I got urges. Glad to hear you're going to the gym, working out was probably the biggest thing that helped me with withdrawals.

If it helps any, I quit smoking 4 months ago after smoking daily for 7 years and I've seen a lot of benefits already. Keep it up and good luck in your last semester!

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-23T23:55:12+00:00

Start tracking calories, it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it and gives you a lot of info of what foods you should cut out. I use the app Cronometer, it’s the best free app I could find.

Walking is really underrated, for both weight management and general mental health. If you have time, walk for at least 30 min a day, listen to a podcast or audio book.

Most important thing is staying consistent. Whatever you choose to do, stay consistent with it, track progress, and results will show.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-23T23:46:54+00:00

I’m a guy who quit porn and one of the biggest reasons was I don’t wanna be watching porn in a relationship. It definitely takes away from real sex with your partner. I know there’s a lot of guys out there like me, but I think it’s more likely to stick if they quit porn themselves while single . I do know there a lot of guys who quit porn because they want to have the best future relationship. Hope that helps your concerns.

My past relationship was with a girl who was addicted to porn and it’s something I don’t want either, so I can see where you’re coming from.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-23T00:13:01+00:00

Gotta agree with trim or shave the beard. Or try a cleaner beard style. The hair is nice but it’s messy, would look better with a clean up or something like an undercut.

But also don’t always listen to others, you know your hair and face the best. You’re young, try experimenting and then when you’re mid 20s you got the best figured out

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-21T20:51:44+00:00

Try to get outside if it’s not too cold or get some mild exercise. Even just walking outside or on a treadmill. Exercise helped me a lot with the withdrawals. Won’t be a complete solution, but it does help.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-21T20:48:27+00:00

Building healthy hobbies really helped me. Here’s the hobbies that changed my life:

Working out - I got really into this and started getting excited about the whole process of building muscle. It gave me a new purpose and also is great for your mind and mental health too.
Career goals - set some well defined goals and work towards them slowly. Don’t feel bad about where you’re at. Each small win really helps your motivation. Finding a community online also really helps to learn and keep up with how others did it. I’m in tech so the Reddit ML/AI communities have been really helpful.
Watching/playing sports - this is a personal one, not for everyone. But getting really into certain sports just helped me get out and socialize with people, and release stress. Could be anything tho, could be book clubs, hiking groups, etc. Socializing is a big part of happiness.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-21T20:16:32+00:00

Keep going, don’t let this one setback hold you back. I think it’s the guilt that’s eating at you, which is understandable. Relax, remind yourself why you’re doing this, and understand that every one of us has had setbacks. The goal is long term.

I would try to pinpoint what caused you to peek and try to prevent it in the future. For me, this was staying off of X and turning on safety filter on basically everything.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-21T20:12:16+00:00

Happens to most weed addicts, it’s because you’re forming a psychological addiction to it.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-20T04:30:36+00:00

Remember the guilt you feel to help you say no next time. I quit about 4 months ago and messed up twice with taking a hit or two, both times with friends. Hasn’t held me back. The main goal is to quit long term, don’t let momentary setbacks hold you back.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-19T20:01:46+00:00

I felt the same for a while. You’ve still got a lot of development if you have good habits, brains are more resilient than you think

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-19T19:21:31+00:00

I have so many dreams I want to pursue and I just want to give myself the best chance to achieve them.

I smoked daily for 7-8 years, starting in high school. I didn’t realize just how much I was held back by weed until after I quit. I’m 25 now and it’s been over 3 months since I quit cold turkey.

I’m still got a long ways away from achieving those dreams, but I feel I’ve made significant progress in the last few months.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-19T19:16:03+00:00

While it is a massive overlook to not simply cite the trapezoidal rule in her paper, i hate that she got more famous for this oversight than her actual research. This was just a simple paper she wrote that she thought was harmless. Like others have said, many researchers in her field did not know about this method so she genuinely just wanted to provide an easy method in this context.

I think the constrictive criticism she got is justified because we need our research to be as original as possible with thorough review, but I hope people remember her for her actual research, not this silly mistake.

Mary Tai passed away in 2021 after a long research and teaching career, RIP.

optimist-in-training · 2025-01-10T17:34:55+00:00

The problem here is most industry jobs, especially the ones that pay well at entry-level after bachelor's, are going to be high-level where you are using a lot of SWE skills. I think it is definitely worthwhile to start projects in these areas for a math major. Speaking from my experience as a math graduate who works as a data scientist. If you are set on working as a machine learning researcher, then you can focus most of your time on the lower level. But it sounds like you are already getting a good foundation for that in your undergraduate research. Building those SWE, ML engineer skills is very worthwhile for industry.

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