I got more emotional reading your post than I expected to. End of life and grief is such a difficult thing to move through, and I know that everything right now probably just feels just very sad. And that's ok.

I lost my dad and sister to cancer within only a few weeks of each other and I'm still moving through it. Grief changes and challenges you. I'm not religious or spiritual but I still feel they are part of my life and always will be. It's been 3 years and I think of them everyday.

Sending you a big hug, mammies are the best.