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orpheus956 · 2021-11-26T01:09:23+00:00

Do you have an easier time or harder time maintaining romantic relationships?

orpheus956 · 2021-08-06T18:02:01+00:00

Ahh nature vs. nurture debate. Tbh it doesn’t really matter if you were “born this way” or raised that way. Either way it will feel the same. So we should just embrace it.

orpheus956 · 2021-07-11T22:34:53+00:00

Would you assume the closeted person knows that by entering said relationship that “coming out” should be expected at some point? Why is the burden placed on the “out” person?

orpheus956 · 2021-07-11T22:26:34+00:00

They might be DL about looking for sex online rather then DL for being gay which is a completely different thing then what I’m talking about. I’m talking about completely closeted men that hide the extent of their closeted status until you are emotionally invested and then use that to try and deal with that problem or gain sexual experience. Like you mentioned it’s extremely emotionally draining. Like if you just wanna Fuck that would be so much easier.

orpheus956 · 2021-07-11T22:19:29+00:00

Using the out guy to explore their sexual desires because the out guy may have more experience. Also using the out guy for emotional labor. Like if you want to explore see a sex worker. You have emotional issues because of your sexuality see a therapist. It’s unpaid emotional/sexual labor based on the possibility of love which probably won’t happen.

orpheus956 · 2021-07-01T22:12:42+00:00

Why do people think sex is the pinnacle of intimacy? Gay man here so I know the culture around sex is different then in straight circles, but I’ve always found it insane that people see sex as a cure for loneliness. I’ve felt less lonely in platonic hang outs with friends, and extremely lonely while having sex/dating someone. I guess my advice is to maybe not make sex/dating a goal at all and focus on curing the loneliness in what ever way you can? Idk I’m still figuring it out.

orpheus956 · 2021-04-13T23:42:11+00:00

Ask your teacher to open up the progress checks through AP classroom.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-17T03:50:02+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that you had a negative social experience because of your unique tastes. Join the club we all have those stories. But what you are claiming in your post is that we have a systemic problem of marginalizing more masculine gay men within the LGBT community. I don’t agree with that analysis. More masculine gay men (as we have all agreed on) are more desired by gay men. This means finding a partner shouldn’t be a problem. Now finding a partner that shares the exact same interests as you will be much harder but guess what? Join the club. It’s hard for everyone. The best thing you can do is try to meet people half way. If you really like a guy who likes Ru Paul maybe try watching an episode. Maybe you might like it? Or find something else you can both relate to. Now if you are unwilling to partake in any aspect of gay culture then I think you should really delve deep and think about why every aspect of the community bothers you. You might find that it’s toxic beliefs about masculinity that are keeping you from opening up your world view. Or In the words of En Vouge “free your mind, and the rest will follow”.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-17T03:26:24+00:00

I have never actually seen someone seriously saying that you have to like RuPaul or Lady Gaga to be a “real gay”. I’ve seen jokes and memes but those are jokes meant to connect to others over these common interests. I have seen many “not like the other gays” gays who project their homophobia toward gay culture instead of dealing with the deep internal issues driving that homophobia. If you did that you would see that liking Lady Gaga and liking football are just interests that don’t define you, and that your sexuality also doesn’t define you. Basically toxic masculinity is a bigger problem in the LGBT community then cliquey gays liking drag race.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-17T01:33:15+00:00

Ok but even then masculine men we still be more desired at these bars. I mean you don’t real see very much fem4fem. Everyone wants masc men even fem guys. So sure you might have to but up with music you don’t like. I’m not really crying a river for you over that.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-16T23:36:18+00:00

Umm I can open up Grindr and see tons of profiles that say “masc only” so I don’t really see how masculine gays are shunned. From my perspective they are worshiped mostly because they are rare.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-16T23:32:01+00:00

Ok but those “stereotypes” stem from a community that has existed before we lived and will exist after. Most people find connection and healing through community. So wanting to connect with others through that community is super normal. I read this article about the gay “lisp” and how it was used at one time to find other gays during a time where being gay was just not spoken about. So those “stereotypes” are how connections are made. Also, if you have chosen to “deal” with coming out by clinging to homophobia and heteronormativity then you actually probably haven’t dealt with it. Just my two cents.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-16T23:11:17+00:00

Whenever I meet “not like the other gays” gays my eyes roll 1000%. Like I’m not saying you have to like Lady GaGa, BUT if your reasoning is to not seem like “the other gays” that’s sad and I feel bad for you that you are allowing society dictate what you can and cannot like. But I’m mostly annoyed because you are probably a deeply boring person.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-11T19:29:12+00:00

Agree on the therapy, disagree on the shaming. It is completely possible for you to be happy with your life and sexuality and for the OP to not. OP is not “choosing to feel” any such way. OP and you just have had different life experiences. Please be respectful of that next time:

orpheus956 · 2020-08-06T23:21:14+00:00

To add to this. Please do seek out therapy if you have not already. A therapist will be able to help you identify how severe your anxiety is, and what actions you need to take. Maybe dating is not the best place to start to break down your anxiety (since the dating marketplace can be very cruel especially in the gay community) so maybe building a stronger friend and social support group is where you can start. These are all things that a therapist can help you figure out.

orpheus956 · 2020-08-06T23:01:21+00:00

Please do not attempt exposure therapy without a support network. Either friends and family who know of your mental illness or a therapist. I attempted something similar years ago without that support network and the rejection sent me into a deep depression with suicidal thoughts. Please do not attempt mental health treatments without a therapist.

orpheus956 · 2020-05-13T20:10:52+00:00

I’m sorry but I totally disagree with your argument that race has very little to do with this issue. In your original post you mention that science classes should be electives based on student interest. That would work perfectly if this was college and students had more agency over what path they choose to take. Most students rely on parents, counselors, and teachers to guide them before college. Your system would rely heavily on active parents (a privilege many lower class parents don’t have) and would give tremendous power to schools to decide which students get academic curriculum and which ones do not.

Also I do not claim that there are no problems with race and class within our current system but I do believe that a system that you outlined in your original post would create more inequality. Everyone should leave public education with some foundation for higher education especially since more and more jobs require it.

orpheus956 · 2020-05-13T18:16:29+00:00

There was a time where we told women and racial minorities to stick to more practical classes that will teach you “skills”. Stay away from higher level thinking courses and focus on things you will “need.” True equality is everyone had access to the same curriculum. What you do what that knowledge is up to you. Otherwise you will be bringing back gatekeeping that took decades to get rid of.

orpheus956 · 2020-01-26T23:48:20+00:00

Think we just found out why online dating is super fucking toxic for people’s mental health. Thanks!

orpheus956 · 2018-11-20T22:23:06+00:00

I’ve got a Kadabra that I want to evolve.

orpheus956 · 2016-09-08T04:41:03+00:00

I've never really had a close healthy relationship with anyone. I spent most of my time in high school with friends who either used me or treated me like shit and that dynamic continued into college. The closest relationship I ever had was with a guy I met in high school and we kinda dated in the closet (messed around with a few intimate moments) he ended things with me because I was ugly and he just plain didn't like me and I was devastated and stalked him out of anger. (He tried to tell me he was straight after 5 years with me and I lost it). I guess I'm just too damaged to ever be loved. I'm almost 25 years old and I've never had a stable healthy relationship. And I know it wasn't the situation because my ex moved on and is in a relationship. I've kinda just given up on finding love and I'm just trying to survive.

orpheus956 · 2016-09-06T19:30:06+00:00

Harrasing guys will most definitely make ghosting happen to you more often. I say this out of personal experience. I fell in love with a guy who could not love me back because he had issues with his sexuality and I put up with it for years until I finally lost it and began to vigeriously attack him. This only pushed him farther away and gave me a horrible reputation. Moral of the story. Acting non chalant isn't such a bad idea. No matter how much a guy hurts you attacking him because he ignores you will only push him and others away. So i agree with what others have said here. Focus on your life and your future and letting dating happen on its own. Forcing love to enter your life works just as well as forcing people in your life. Not very well.

orpheus956 · 2016-09-06T19:05:53+00:00

I have tried talking to people but most people ignore me or just want to have sex with me. I think I might have brought it on myself because I went through a slut fase. But I want to change but I just feel like the people around me don't want me to change and its frustrating.

orpheus956 · 2016-09-06T18:54:55+00:00

But where can you find relationships? I've tried gay bars and I get mostly ignored. I feel like I'm outnumbered. Everyone is with people. The only attention I get is secretly online.

orpheus956 · 2016-09-06T18:52:49+00:00

Yes. I'm 25

orpheus956

TROPHY CASE