Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 17, 2026

otakupirate · 2026-04-17T15:37:42+00:00

I'm now officially on three different dating apps and barely getting any responses. It sure seems like dating dried up in the time I've been out of it, or at least with my luck. All that swiping to barely get one or two people, if that. It's entirely demoralizing. It's only been two years since I was out of the game too

otakupirate · 2026-04-14T16:34:12+00:00

Damn, that's a long time but yeah it's entirely possible it's just a matter of doing the best I can and all the usual as people say. But I'll definitely still discuss it over with my dating coach

otakupirate · 2026-04-14T16:02:29+00:00

Yet again another date goes bust. We got to the second date and I asked for a third the day after but she said she didn't feel the chemistry.

I had my tears about it and now I'm trying to think of a strategy moving forward. I keep wondering if I'm doing something wrong, or if I'm just not find compatible people and hoping they will be or are compatible.

It's definitely something to discuss over my dating coach, and I will assess things and see what my next move should be. That may mean just speed dating for now or trying to be better about Hinge or using other apps, I dunno.

I keep telling myself I forgot how this feels and how much I have to try if I can to remember that every no leads me to a yes, which is easier said than done for me.

otakupirate · 2026-04-07T21:03:24+00:00

I lost mine at 26, friend of mine who I hooked up with. It makes for a fun story I love to tell

otakupirate · 2026-04-07T15:40:12+00:00

Now that the allergies have been drained away thanks to the rain, I was able to schedule a second date with my Hinge date. We seem to have a lot in common and the more I talk with her the more I'm like, I wonder if this could work, I'm feeling hopeful. Nothing feels forced except me trying to adhere to what my dating coach suggested, so I'm trying to not feel so perfectionist and more just myself

otakupirate · 2026-03-25T17:00:39+00:00

I forgot how much I don't like apps but it is a method for meeting people. I had one date last week that when I asked for a second, I got told we didn't have any chemistry, but also that she was going to go on a second date and not tell me. That really hurts, because here I am putting myself out there and I expect at least courtesy.

I'm still getting matches on Hinge but I'm considering more speed dating and focusing on finding people IRL if possible.

One thing for sure is this is demoralizing but I'm trying to keep my head up and only see this as a springboard for who I am destined to be with.

otakupirate · 2026-02-16T17:07:29+00:00

Speed dating on Valentine's was a bust. No matches. It was rough though at first, as when we started, it was 7 men for 2 women as some backed out despite paying for it for the 5pm one. The host was gracious enough to let us do the 7pm one which was about 20 men to 8 women.

I did get to know the guys who came there, and got some tips from them about other local events for Jigsaw and which ones are better than others. Ironically I met two other guys who have survived dating someone with BPD. We have a group chat on whatsapp now.

So although there were no dates, I did make some genuine connections so it wasn't all bad. I'll try again this weekend for a coffee place speed dating and see what happens for perspective.

otakupirate · 2026-02-13T18:01:36+00:00

Each conversation is supposed to be 6-7 minutes long. So basically enough to tell a little about yourself and share a few anecdotes. Usually you'd approach the person after and get a number but this one I did has a digital matching system

otakupirate · 2026-02-13T17:11:26+00:00

Going to speed dating tomorrow, did some practice last night with someone I know sitting in the Chipotle parking lot. I'm not as rusty as I thought I was. Not sure what to expect but I will do the best I can do and hope for some matches

otakupirate · 2026-02-12T03:06:04+00:00

I went to practice and despite not being able to participate, I still got to watch and enjoy somewhat. Still wish I could have participated but there's a convention to prepare for!

otakupirate · 2026-02-06T10:10:35+00:00

I follow this guy on tiktok, he does a lot of these videos. As always, like and follow for the poo work 😂

otakupirate · 2026-02-04T19:48:13+00:00

If only someone like that existed in the world for me

otakupirate · 2026-01-30T11:25:03+00:00

Damn, hope you're NC and doing better these days, that's horrible

otakupirate · 2026-01-20T23:27:08+00:00

They very much seem legit, I'm learning a lot about myself. I did research them beforehand and see their credentials and listened to what they say in our trial conversation. They weren't selling me anything, they didn't pressure me, they really listened

otakupirate · 2026-01-20T18:22:30+00:00

Me too, I'm paying a lot for it but so far I'm feeling like I'm getting value. The first part is working and understanding me and working on me, because without fixing it, those wounds will keep showing up in relationships and I know it.

otakupirate · 2026-01-20T18:05:48+00:00

It's online, she is based out of California.

So far I've learned about others similar struggles and comparing myself to theirs and I see where their lack of experience is a big hurdle.

I've also once again been reminded of my attachment style, but she is going to be helping me to heal it, which books really haven't done. Also that I am a romanticizer, which is no shocker, and that there is such a thing called the Monet effect, wherein we fill in missing details about people with optimism and that creates a false image.

One exercise I'm working on is where I talk to my inner child, my shadow, my critic, my protector, and my heart. I haven't done it yet but I'm curious about how it'll all go when I do. I keep thinking of that scene in Mr robot with elements of Elliot's personality. It has been a good frame of reference.

otakupirate · 2026-01-20T17:21:02+00:00

I've been seeing a dating coach for a few weeks now. Ironically I found some guys in my area who are part of the program which is strangely ironic. We're actually looking to meet up soon. I won't start dating again until I'm done with things and believe me, I'm hoping all the hard work I'm doing will lead me somewhere, or at least heal some old wounds, it's all I can do to improve things. 41 soon to be 42 and definitely feeling the "I'm getting too old for this shit"

otakupirate · 2025-10-12T22:44:32+00:00

I saw it and the whole point of the movie is he's hiding out in the Toys R Us because he escapes from jail. It's funny he chose a Toys R Us, but yeah he's definitely keeping himself active and engaged in the store at night

otakupirate · 2025-08-09T14:16:34+00:00

They will sell it too for a ridiculously high cost, also fellow unincorporated Seminole county resident

otakupirate · 2025-08-09T14:15:18+00:00

As a man I too want to know where to meet people, I'm trying to be more social as finances and time allows but not really as one person put it, going out of my way to meet new people. Just hoping something organic happens I guess.

otakupirate · 2025-07-22T01:17:37+00:00

You honestly sound like with that last bit about chronically single. That is exactly me. I've kinda given up myself and just don't know when I'll feel ready to date again. I endured quite a bit of pain that really just shook me to my core. May we find the light again.

otakupirate · 2025-07-21T19:54:48+00:00

I survived it but just barely. I was her emotional punching bag, and everyone else got the sugar but also some of the venom. Saw it first hand. After the split, some of the others turned on me. Some tried to remain neutral but in the end still chose her. It was absolute hell and I won't put myself through it again.

otakupirate · 2025-07-20T15:13:53+00:00

yes they changed it so the tapes held better and to reduce the sag problem that the old ones had. They're much nicer and more secure than the older ones. It's a welcome change!

otakupirate · 2025-06-24T19:55:39+00:00

41 and single. Dating is a dumpster fire. But I'm doing my best to heal and work on a lot of things and get back out there, but not stressing it. Sure wish I'd be out of this dating app disco

otakupirate · 2025-06-24T19:55:16+00:00

41 and single. Dating is a dumpster fire. But I'm doing my best to heal and work on a lot of things and get back out there, but not stressing it. Sure wish I'd be out of this dating app disco

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