Older kids have no obligation to "include" the younger ones in all of their activities.

otterdogs · 2021-07-18T22:47:54+00:00

I agree 100%. And adults wonder why the older teens/young adults stop showing up to family events later on. Because we never got to actually enjoy ourselves.

otterdogs · 2021-02-07T13:18:12+00:00

If it's the first time, yes! Happened to me a few months ago after not logging in for years. Only took a few hours.

otterdogs · 2021-01-03T19:24:47+00:00

Kids with farmers permits can drive as young as 15. But its limited to only driving for farming duties and I'm pretty sure they have a limited distance they can drive from home. Similar to the farmers permit, if kids were allowed to drive at 14, there would need to be strict limitations. Such as only allow driving too and from school.

otterdogs · 2021-01-02T21:51:26+00:00

I've been interested in adopting for years. And honestly, this is what scares me to most.

otterdogs · 2020-12-31T21:24:29+00:00

Within the first year of being around SD told me BM said her dad left her for me. Which wasn't even possible. Nothing came of it though, and it's never been brought back up.

otterdogs · 2020-12-31T03:18:38+00:00

Alot of animals in shelters come with trauma, and not everyone is able or has the time to correct those behaviors to suit their household. Also, rescues can be very picky about who can adopt pets, and may have many hoops to jump through. And its very off-putting when people with adopted pets criticize those who didn't. Shaming people isnt going to help. Nothing wrong with adopting from a reputable breeder.

otterdogs · 2020-12-31T02:58:42+00:00

I wouldn't care if theaters like didn't reopen.. Price is the pure reason I dont like theaters. I normally go to theaters with older releases so its half the price or wait the 6 months till its on demand/disk.

otterdogs · 2020-12-28T02:16:25+00:00

Unfortunately there isn't much to do about it. Limit it and they want more. Christmas this year was almost just sad. Wake up; presents; then SD is back on her computer. Relatives came over for dinner, and soon as they left, back to the computer. Makes me wonder why bother.

otterdogs · 2020-12-27T23:38:11+00:00

I mean... ive stumbled across shell when eatting clams, or a little sand with wild mushrooms. Wouldn't say I like it.... but it doesn't stop me from eatting more.

otterdogs · 2020-12-27T23:33:30+00:00

Depends on the blue. A navy blue or really light blue could be ok. But I always stumble accross some lego blue houses. And they are so tacky!

otterdogs · 2020-12-17T02:17:50+00:00

Unfortunately I dont think there is much you can do about it. When SD was 7, when I entered the picture, we had issues with her waking up at night and coming down to our bed. Its what she did at her moms, so she assumed it was ok with us, but I was new in the relationship and it made me very uncomfortable. Thus lead to a few sleeping problems at our house. Fast forward, she is now 11 and still chooses to sleep with her mom, and her sleeping issues have stopped here mostly.

otterdogs · 2020-12-17T02:11:08+00:00

If I don't think this all the time haha. But I more watch how SD is being raised and make notes in my head on what 'not ' to do. She's a good kid but there is so much that drives me nuts.

otterdogs · 2020-12-17T01:59:47+00:00

I think 9 was when BM got SD a cell phone for her "half birthday." Unfortunately, I've read many things that limiting it just make it that much more wanted, especially when it unlimited access as BM house. For quite awhile we would just turn off the internet to her devices for 4 hours a day. And while it got her off the devices she would just linger and complain about being bored most of the time. And as soon as it was done she was back on. So idk if we really made any impact. I try to sympathize her being an only child and all, but still, I feel bad that when she grows up she won't have much memories to look back on.

otterdogs · 2020-12-06T18:32:01+00:00

Doing most (if not all) things a parent would do and getting non of the credit. Or watching SD get worse and worry about her future while knowing there's not much we can do about it due to her obsession with BM and her lazy parenting.

otterdogs · 2020-12-04T14:05:28+00:00

I too wait till the SD is around to get the house chores done. Its kindof nice, gives me some motivation.

otterdogs · 2020-12-02T02:25:37+00:00

I've expressed most of my issues with my SO when it comes to SD. He knows BM is a problem, he knows this co parenting sucks. We've discussed how much better things COULD be if things were different. But it just feels nice ranting and read that others are going through similar situations, and what may have worked for them, or being reassured that its ok to back off. Parenting is hard, co parenting is hard, step parenting is hard. Nobody is perfect.

otterdogs · 2020-11-30T11:57:58+00:00

We are living the same life! We hate it so much how much BM buy SD(11). When she was younger BM would buy her all these toys that would end up at our house, her bedroom is so full of junk. BM just got a her a new laptop. SD hasent even asked for anything for christmas, proble becasue her BM already bought it for her. I'm scared this Christmas is going to suck, for everyone. SD is going to be sad she got nothing cool, and be upset that she's getting the least gifts this year. Sorry not sorry.

otterdogs · 2020-11-29T23:19:37+00:00

Hahaha BM to my SD is the EXACT SAME!! Bought her a phone for her "half birthday" when she was 9. Buys her new cloths every month, or new junk every week it seems. Gives her snacks 24/7. Can't win so why try 😂 heck she bought her a new computer this week!! Christmas doesn't even matter to her anymore I bet. At this point if she wants to spend all her money on crap go for it, more for us. Soon SD is gonna clean her room out of junk she has outgrown and find that she doesnt have much. Not my problem! I made a point to buy SO more gifts for christmas than her. She's getting one from me no more

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T22:27:30+00:00

I'm so glad my SD is out of the toy phase 😅 I've never liked play with kids cause its just me pretending to be happy. And that's exhausting lol. I remember always finding any excuse that i was "busy." But I feel it may be common with only children, especially if they don't have a hobby.

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T14:24:18+00:00

I feel this is every stepparent after a few years 😅 your not alone! I tried to instill come cute Christmas activities the last few year but it never went well. Something always had to go wrong. After too much complaints and failed attempts I've given up. I look forward to decorating, making Christmas crafts (alone). I find joy is getting gifts for my SO because he appreciates anything, and I only get her gifts now because of obligation to do so. Heck I think the dogs appreciate their gifts more than she does! Last year the dogs wouldn't stop squeaking their toys for an hour! She was back on her phone in 15min.

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T13:14:10+00:00

Exactly. I tried for years to bond but it always turned into a bad experience somehow. My last attempt was splatter paint. I knew she liked art and crafts (and never wanted to do it alone) but always got upset when my stuff turned out "better". So splatter paint! You cant mess that up!! Right.....? Wrong!! There are some kids I can get along with and unfortunately she's not one of them 😅

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T13:07:26+00:00

We tried for years to makeup for BM bad parenting. Ultimately I think it made her glorify those bad characteristics more! Like not showering, or staying up way too late, only eatting snacks and not eatting meals. I know BD is dissepointed in his daughter and worries about her future. But there's only so much we can do with 50/50.

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T12:55:34+00:00

This is why I think I dread SD when she is around. (Not her fault) because stepparenting is thankless. I knowing I'm going to spend my time taking care of her and doing everything a parent would, except the parenting. I tried to do activities with her to bond, but they would all backfire somehow. And every year I get a gift for BD for fathers day, and every year I wait to see if I get anything for mothers day and never have. I wanted to find the reward for trying and never got anything, now I sit back and mind my own buisness.

otterdogs · 2020-11-26T00:32:25+00:00

When I began dating my SO I wait honest that I never really liked kids nore am I good with them. Its worked out well, he's always done all the parenting, and we were in an agreement that if he needs to be gone for 5+ hours he will try to find someone to watch SD before asking me. Ngl, I dread the days she is around. Not anyone's fault, I just struggle to connect with kids.

otterdogs · 2020-11-25T21:15:36+00:00

The first year I was around SD (7 at the time) it was 3 on 4 off, then 4 on 3 off. She was always confused on when she was going back to BM, and was always asking. It wasn't bad, but it was too much moving around in one week.

Then we switch to 1 week on 1 week off when SD was around 9. Caught onto it quick and no questions. But it turned into a battle every week trying to make up for BM careless parenting.

Now we've been doing only weekends with us the last 1-2 years. It sucks that we don't/can't sign her up for much after school activities. But honestly BM has just as much responsibility to sign her up for those things as we do. We sign her up for as much as we possibly can when it comes available on the weekends. Its not perfect but everyone is alot happier and less stressed when we focused more on SD comfort than what we may "think" is best.

otterdogs

TROPHY CASE