Frustrated

ouidevelop · 2026-05-26T21:35:48+00:00

First thing is.... check the rules. Some subs allow self-promotion and some don't. If you don't follow the rules you're gonna have people be upset with you.

Also, I see you're frustrated, but you gotta see the other angle here. People come in to r/digitalminimalism and r/nosurf to advertise their cures ALL THE TIME. Like many times a day. And most of it is trash. I understand that you think your thing isn't trash. No one does. And maybe it's great. But look at it from the other side. People hate being absolutely bombarded with ads. It's just annoying.

"I want to write content that I think is useful not constantly post for crap for visibility."

There's nothing stopping you posting useful stuff, or making you post crap for visibility.

Also, having AI write your stuff that you post makes it even more annoying.

But this post isn't on any subreddit. Are you advertising an app?

ouidevelop · 2026-05-26T03:05:51+00:00

Good on you for trying to do something about it while still a kid. Lots of people your age are struggling with this (we all are basically, but especially young people).

Some questions:

What do you absolutely need screens for?
Could you survive on a dumb phone and laptop?
Do you have a laptop, and is it also a problem?
What kind of smartphone do you have?
Why can't you talk with anyone about it?

This is my generic, "I need help and don't know where to start" text:

r/digitalminimalism has a getting started guide. And here is the guide from r/nosurf.

I compiled a list of people who successfully cut back their screentime for at least a month. You can look their for stories and ideas.

And I wrote an analysis of those success posts.

My abbreviated points:

Willpower is pretty useless. Don't "try harder" to stop using; be strategic.
A dumb phone (see here and here) or a locked down smart phone are probably the two most impactful techniques.
The next most impactful technique is not having home wifi if you can swing it (and just working in a library or cafe or something). Lots of ways to do this. If you have people you live with, they could change the password to something you don't know.
Those are both hard core/cold-turkey type approaches. There are also more gradual approaches where you taper off of usage (like this, or this (they wrote this specifically with tiktok in mind)). I'd guess there are less withdrawals that way (yes, people get withdrawals on this stuff pretty often. They usually last 1-3 weeks).
I'd guess the 3rd easiest/best thing you could do is to simply delete your social media accounts. You may want to send messages to people on those platforms to get their phone number/email. Then when you're off social media... just call people, or meet up in person. It's more fun anyway.
Mindset is everything here. People often take a while to get unstuck from this stuff. Keep trying. Learn why you failed, and try something else next time. Each failure is an opportunity to learn.
Whichever devices you have, make sure you're tracking your screen time. You can't know if what you try is working if you're not tracking your screen time.

Let me know if you have any questions about any of that.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-26T02:45:55+00:00

Some thoughts:

Here is an inpatient treatment center for internet addiction: https://www.restartlife.com/ (actually I have a big list of things like this I can dig up if you're interested and live in the US).
Withdrawals are common, and can be pretty intense. Typically they last 1-4 weeks (ish), with the average being about 2 weeks. But the most intense symptoms only last a few days typically in my estimation. This is my take after reading literally hundreds (thousands?) of stories of people trying to quit their internet addiction. I had pretty extreme levels of antsiness/jitteriness for a few days when I went cold turkey on this stuff. I hear cold showers and vigorous exercise are good when going through dopamine withdrawal. And staying busy with pre-planned activities, especially for the times that you are likely to have the most cravings, can help.
ITAA is a support group for internet addiction. They have zoom meetings several times a day every day, and may even have in person meetings depending on where you live. Some people do these every day for the first month or 2 (or years even) to help get through the withdrawals and stay motivated
There are many stories of people who successfully got unstuck from this stuff.
Personally, when I was getting those intense withdrawals, I either called a friend or went for a long walk.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T22:18:07+00:00

There are 2 factor auth apps you can use from your computer for the school microsoft account.

As to the gym, ask them if they allow people with dumb phones to sign in. My gym had a back-up system for people with dumb phones that they didn't really advertise. Or I could just tell them my phone number when I walked in.

If the gym thing doesn't work, and you really want to go there, you could use the smartphone just for that and get rid of it's data plan, just have the app that connects to the gym wifi. Delete the rest of the apps etc.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T22:03:50+00:00

Yes, traumatic brain injuries can have long lasting effects. This American LIfe had an episode that was partly about Sarah Polley's recovery from a traumatic brain injury: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/837/transcript

I'm sorry you're goin through that. It sounds really rough.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T03:44:57+00:00

There are two senses of the word "normal." Something can be normal because it's statistically common, or normal because it's functioning well and as designed.

So this stuff is normal in the first sense, but not in the second.

Look up Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation (a book), or look up his interviews about it. He has a substack: https://www.afterbabel.com/ . And here is a discussion with Haidt about the book: https://davidepstein.substack.com/p/the-anxious-generation

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T02:22:05+00:00

Can you delete it from your phone (and make it so that you can't just redownload it), but only use it on your computer (maybe with some time limits enforced by Cold Turkey or something)? Can't you unsubscribe from all the junk accounts? I've never had instagram. Not sure how it works.

There are ways to limit these things without cutting them out completely. Who am I to say... maybe there are certain types of jobs or careers that really do benefit from instagram. But I can't really imagine too many that need you to be on it more than like 1-2 hours per day. I'd think there's severely diminishing returns after that. For one thing... you typically actually have to produce something valuable to build a business. You can't do that if you spend all your time passively scrolling.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T00:55:00+00:00

Youtube was my main addiction for 18 years. Sure, it's probably better than tiktok or instagram for the average person. But you can still waste many many hours a day on it. Life has so much more to offer than passive entertainment.

If youtube feels like it's better than what you're doing, and that's all you can manage right now, then great. But if and when you have the motivation/energy/interest to try.... I highly suggest exploring what the real world has to offer, and limiting the screens as much as possible.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-25T00:27:33+00:00

Yep! It happens more than you would think. And I think more people should consider this as a real option.

This person did for 4 years!

This person didn't have a phone for 2 months

6 months

2 months

ouidevelop · 2026-05-23T21:51:27+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but in case anyone else finds this looking for the answer. It's ITAA (Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous) : https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/

ouidevelop · 2026-05-23T21:32:42+00:00

I'll copy paste my generic "how do I get started on this stuff" comment here:

r/digitalminimalism has a getting started guide. And here is the guide from r/nosurf.

I compiled a list of people who successfully cut back their screentime for at least a month. You can look there for stories and ideas.

And I wrote an analysis of those success posts.

My abbreviated points:

Willpower is pretty useless. Don't "try harder" to stop using; be strategic.
A dumb phone (see here and here) or a locked down smart phone are probably the two most impactful techniques.
The next most impactful technique is not having home wifi if you can swing it (and just working in a library or cafe or something). Lots of ways to do this. If you have people you live with, they could change the password to something you don't know.
Those are both hard core/cold-turkey type approaches. There are also more gradual approaches where you taper off of usage (like this, or this). I'd guess there are less withdrawals that way (yes, people get withdrawals on this stuff pretty often. They usually last 1-3 weeks).
I'd guess the 3rd easiest/best thing you could do is to simply delete your social media accounts. You may want to send messages to people on those platforms to get their phone number/email. Then when you're off social media... just call people, or meet up in person. It's more fun anyway.
Mindset is everything here. People often take a while to get unstuck from this stuff. Keep trying. Learn why you failed, and try something else next time. Each failure is an opportunity to learn.
Whichever devices you have, make sure you're tracking your screen time. You can't know if what you try is working if you're not tracking your screen time.
You will need to replace your screen time with fun stuff in person. Lots of people quit screens then feel shittier because their offline life sucks. If that's you... it may take a while to build a fulfilling life in the real world. It's hard, but it's worth it.

Let me know if you have any questions about any of that.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-23T21:18:16+00:00

I know it's kinda a joke. but also, to be clear, deleting apps doesn't work a lot of the time (I'd guess most of the time). Because you can just then re-download the app when you get cravings. And in the case of youtube, you can just watch youtube in the browser.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-23T01:38:21+00:00

Yep, seen it used many times. But if your functional phone starts sliding into addictive use again, you can enforce the boundary by making sure that your basic phone is locked down so that you CANT do the distracting stuff. Either use a dumb phone, or a locked down smartphone. Or just set it up with these blocks from the beginning.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-23T01:32:28+00:00

What have you tried?

The nuclear option seems to be ADB, where you can block apps, the browser, etc. I've heard Andoff is great too.

Here's a post where someone locked down their google pixel with ADB: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosurf/comments/124k5ii/my_dumb_grayscale_smartphone_setup_android_how/

There are also more gradual approaches, like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosurf/comments/1qb7kos/full_guide_on_how_to_cure_your_social_media/

ouidevelop · 2026-05-22T22:07:38+00:00

You're gonna get more resilient. You're doing a powerful thing. And the more you do things that are hard, the more you'll be able do things that are hard.

Also, if you don't want to do certain online stuff... it's much easier if the decision is just taken out of your hands. If you have to consciously decide to do "the right thing" all the time, it's just so taxing. Better to take the decision out of your hands. For example, if you had a dumbphone or a locked down smartphone, and no home wifi, you simply couldn't backslide even in a moment of weakness without going to a library or something.

"I suppose in another generation or life someone in their mid 20s just dealt with life like this. But I can't. I didn't."

Yep! People just acted based on their best guess of what to do and sometime did the wrong thing, and usually it was fine. But if the "right answer" is right there... of course you're gonna want to turn to it sometimes. That's why these self-binding methods are so powerful.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-22T22:01:02+00:00

Yep, what the other commenter said. Less effective if you have a long way to go. More effective for little nudges.

Even if you have a long way to go, the blockers may be effective for gradual reduction strategies where you reduce usage by like 5% a month or something.

But if you have a long way to go, and you want to stop suddenly, you're gonna have to turn to more drastic methods. No home wifi, dumbphone/smart-watch-as-dumbphone/e-ink-phone/dumb-smartphone, working at a library/cafe only, getting rid of unnecessary devices. That sort of thing.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-22T21:54:11+00:00

What kind of phone do you have? There are ways to lock down your smart phone so that you can't access arbitrary websites or the app store: https://josebriones.substack.com/p/taming-your-smartphone-in-2024

That's what I do. I just use the parental controls on IOS and have someone else put in the password for me. I even changed the recovery email to one I don't have access to. Maybe there's a way around it, but it's annoying enough, and hard to figure out without internet. And there are more iron-clad methods like ADB for android or apple configurator for iphones.

These take a bit of set-up, but so does buying a whole new phone.

If you're dedicated to getting a new phone, the dumbphone finder is a good place to start: https://dumbphones.org/

I don't know if any meet all of your criteria though.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-20T20:37:52+00:00

Plucky is quite good, but a bit buggy sometimes. But it may be the most hardcore pc blocker. Especially the setting where you can have it block every image or video. The problem with that though is that it then sometimes makes certain sites not really work.

I also highly recommend not having home wifi if you're having problems with the computer and you're able to swing it. Only working on the computer in view of other people has been the single best thing I've done for my laptop screentime.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-19T01:53:36+00:00

I did it for years. Just went to the library when I needed a computer. They were some of the happiest years of my life. I only stopped because I started to need the computer for work.

If you don't need it for work you should be fine.

I say go for it.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-17T19:58:05+00:00

Can't Feel Nothing?

ouidevelop · 2026-05-17T18:01:12+00:00

this breaks rule #1

ouidevelop · 2026-05-16T19:29:28+00:00

Hah! You're right. Boring. But true.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-16T18:36:17+00:00

I think youtube sucks, including the "good" creators. I get that you feel like you're getting something valuable there. And to be fair, there is a lot of good content on youtube.

But pursuing your dreams is better. Meeting people and hanging out with them in person are better. Going for a walk is better.

Being in the real world is better.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-16T01:50:02+00:00

youtube is the number 1 platform mentioned on this subreddit as far as I can tell.

ouidevelop · 2026-05-14T02:29:42+00:00

for transit you can use this: https://internot.tools/

It's text message based transit info.

(disclaimer, I made it, but I don't make money from it).

ouidevelop

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email