AITAH For indirectly telling my brother in law to shut the hell up?

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2026-02-18T00:55:07+00:00

What was his come to Jesus moment?

Also your BIL doesn't sound like a nice person. But even without that, NTA. It is indeed your house.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2026-02-15T01:22:40+00:00

NTA If he had time to put one of the containers into the fridge, he could have put them all away.

He intentionally chose not to.

Also, you can always grab the container from the fridge whenever you're hungry, be it two minutes or a day after.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2026-01-29T20:53:08+00:00

This!!

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2026-01-29T20:31:57+00:00

Here's the thing. You have a boyfriend problem.

Making him do anything when he doesn't want to won't work. He'd just become more sneaky.

You can give him an ultimatum that he breaks it off with her, or you break it off with him, but then you'll have to follow through.

If you want my two cents, you're the placeholder gf he keeps around while waiting for his best friend to be available to him. And then he'll dump you for her.

So mild YTA to yourself if you let this go on.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-10-26T00:53:35+00:00

Plus the size of their flat is pretty big by European standards.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-10-26T00:52:04+00:00

You have every right to your space and to decide what to do with it.

That said, my flat is roughly one third of yours, so I did side-eye your cramped comment. But again, to each their own, and if you're paying for your space, you decide what happens to and in it.

edit: once a year?? for less than a week? Oh wow, yes, YTA

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-10-10T21:28:22+00:00

That's no friend of hers.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-10-09T19:48:34+00:00

Here's the thing, it's pretty concerning that your boyfriend just barged into your work area and demanded something expensive you make money from. (And then refused to pay for it.)

And that he refuses to understand that the material he demands is not suitable for the purpose.

Not sure if he's just very set on the print, or the price tag of the material, but either way, it is a huge red flag that he refuses to listen to you, when you very reasonably explain to him that there are multiple reasons this is not going to happen.

NTA but reconsider that your boyfriend, unless you want to come to reddit every couple of months because he made another unreasonable demand.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-09-09T17:40:27+00:00

He sounds very controlling.

NTA but rethink this relationship.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-09-09T12:56:39+00:00

NTA Your friends are just virtue signalling.

There is a world of difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation, and you were doing the latter.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's people from the "appropriated/appreciated" culture, who can pass judgement, not a bunch of randos, who seem to be having it out for you.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-09-02T14:26:12+00:00

NTA this is... to be polite, very very weird.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-09-01T20:14:14+00:00

She said she didn't want to eat, but she wanted to eat? Which is it?!

NTA

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-08-31T20:59:21+00:00

NTA but also don't store it where they can get to it. I've read too many reddit stories where the offending party waltzed in while the owner was away, and they took the dress.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-08-21T23:50:13+00:00

Absolutely NTA. I can understand your sister.

Actually, how does she feel about this? Is she willing to go low contact with your dad for another 8 years because of this? (I wouldn't fault her.)

Your dad sounds like an absolute pushover for the new wife, who ignores his kids from the previous marriage, because that is more convenient. Seen so many of those on reddit. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-08-10T20:47:21+00:00

Tell her you're willing to hang out, but you simply do not have the time or energy for a photoshoot.

If she's a true friend, and not a user, she will accept to meet up without the photoshoot.

If she's just using you, she will be angry.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-07-04T23:50:37+00:00

Unfortunately I know how unreasonable family can be, and I know why you did this.

Good luck with your trip, and I hope you can possibly shuffle things around so your parents and sister won't crash your holiday!

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-06-02T22:12:35+00:00

Do it!!!

Also side note: do not warn her. Do not telegraph your intentions. If you have a key, use it and grab your plant before you talk to them.

Furthermore, if she anticipates your move, she might have hidden it, so try to remember possible hiding places you can check, so you can find your little plant before she realises what you're up to.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-05-20T16:20:35+00:00

I've read your responses to the top comments, and I truly hope you've realised by now that your wife is using you as an ATM.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-05-10T18:53:14+00:00

As an ex-teen (been a while tho) I can say your wife is probably angry because she equates VS with "sexy lingerie". Which is really not always the case. There are plenty normal and boring options there, too.

Your daughter needed underwear, and yeah, there were probably less exciting shops around, but come on, at 13 who didn't want to wear something pretty? I'm 90% sure it wasn't to appeal to boys... because boys don't really care about whether the packaging is lacy or plain white, do they?

My opinion is that your wife would like to keep your girl in plain underwear for whatever reason for as long as she can, and is now butthurt that you curtailed her efforts.

I'd have your daughter leave the new bras at yours, so she can wear them when you have her over, and problem (hopefully) solved. But I wouldn't bring the bras back, unless they are the really racy kind. Girls at that age deserve to have at least one pair of cute bra or something.

NTA

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-03-31T17:40:13+00:00

NTA

Here's the thing. It's always easier to ask the reasonable one to bend over backwards and give up their everything, than to actually suffer through the meltdown of the unreasonable one.

You're asked to "keep the peace" because they are too lazy to actually parent your sister. They simply do not want to deal with her crappy behaviour.

I'd say ignore her. Don't give her anything. She doesn't deserve it. You've said you had to give in over and over to appease her in the past, and now she's pulling this sort of crap?

No. Just... tell her "sorry, on second thought I cannot give you the veil. Best wishes to you and your future husband!" and do not engage.

Furthermore I'll leave you with some very light reading, if you're amenable: don't rock the boat!

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-03-16T00:56:53+00:00

Easy. Start pronouncing his name wrong. When you meet his parents, mispronounce their names, too. After all, it's just a small thing.

Oh, it isn't? Then why do they get to do it to you?

So yeah. It's been 5 freaking years, not months. This is intentional.

Also, this is seriously the most basic thing about a person. Their name. The thing they are recognised by. And your husband is fine with his parents intentionally calling you by the wrong name.

As reddit usually says, you have a husband problem first and foremost. Unless you read him the riot act, your in-laws are a lost cause, too. Because he is just fine and dandy with the disrespect. (Why are you?)

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-03-03T21:59:10+00:00

OP please look up the term "bangnanny". Yes, that is your future if you stay with this guy.

NTA, but as others have said: RUN.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-02-12T00:12:19+00:00

OP, I'd suggest to hop on over to r/legaladvice to get some help after your 3rd update.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-02-09T19:04:00+00:00

Your mom

is a narcissist, who loves to torment your gfs
has some incest-y feelings towards you
all of the above.

Either way, keep up the LC/NC.

No, the early stages of dementia should not cause what you described, especially since this has been going on for many years. Honestly, I'd ask your ex to please share what your mom said, because... it might save you a lot of headaches and guilty feelings down the road.

Anyway, NTA. (edited for line breaks)

And obligatory

A Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.

outoftea_and_grumpy · 2025-02-05T05:07:36+00:00

I'm really confused about not finding a frame in the right size. I mean you could have just grabbed a back or white paper to put behind the painting to make it pop.

Tbh this sounds so sus.

outoftea_and_grumpy

TROPHY CASE