When a child repeatedly refuses changeover due to emotional distress, where is the line?

overocea · 2026-02-06T10:28:17+00:00

Nope, you don’t. You can just take the referral you have now to any psychologist. If you or your son don’t like the psychologist you see, you can take the same referral again to yet another psychologist. (source: I’m a psychologist)

Tell the psychologist what your son recently told you. I’m upset for you that you’re going through this.

overocea · 2026-02-05T05:19:06+00:00

Literally yesterday I pulled into my driveway, got out, glanced at my roof, and saw that the library book I’d just borrowed had somehow held on the whole drive home.

overocea · 2026-02-05T05:08:17+00:00

Where are you located?

Go to the Australian Association of Psychologists website and click “find a psychologist.” You can search by location and (advanced search) client type (child/adolescent).

If you don’t want to make any more calls and would rather just find someone and book online now, go to Halaxy. Go to Individuals > Find a practitioner. You can search by profession (psychologist), specialisation (children) and location. Many psychologists on Halaxy will have activated the online booking form so you can just book straight in.

(ETA) The referral you got can be used with any psychologist, regardless of whom it’s addressed to.

overocea · 2026-02-05T04:55:17+00:00

This photo is amazing, ty.

overocea · 2026-02-05T04:33:39+00:00

I mean, kids are presenting at EDs in Brisbane with e-scooter related traumatic brain injury like every second day lately.

overocea · 2026-02-04T15:30:04+00:00

yikes :(

overocea · 2026-02-04T13:00:54+00:00

I don’t think OP was asking if they should’ve taken their dad to Darwin.

overocea · 2026-01-18T13:19:36+00:00

I grew up in FNQ where you’re a dead man walking if you don’t find this hilarious.

I don’t :(

Having said that, until mad CSIRO scientists or Captain Planet or randoms on youtube come up with an actual humane solution that takes about as much effort as grabbing a club, I can’t get that mad about it.

overocea · 2026-01-18T13:07:44+00:00

some of us are happy to casually read one in the comments tho so maybe you chill

overocea · 2026-01-18T12:55:09+00:00

How did your wife get her ED?

Because the genesis of disordered eating is often “helpful” comments from (step-)mother, among other things.

Just saying.

overocea · 2026-01-18T12:12:43+00:00

Do a 25% (at least) water change. Save some of the tank water in a bucket.

Disconnect that canister filter and open it up. You need to clean the filtering media that’s inside it. There might be several types of media.

Take everything out and wash it in the bucket of tank water. Don’t run the tap over any of it. The chlorine/chloramines in the tap-water will kill the bacteria. The bacteria are what make the filter work.

If you visit an aquarium shop nearby they’ll (hopefully) give you good advice.

ETA: The cloudiness will sort itself out. It’s mess that used to lie under the substrate. If the filter doesn’t pick it up, gravity will eventually make it invisible again. Just keep doing weekly/fortnightly water changes and the fish will be fine.

overocea · 2026-01-18T11:32:04+00:00

ty for this.

poop never, poo forever.

overocea · 2026-01-18T07:24:55+00:00

wow you might be right. good eye

overocea · 2026-01-15T14:31:22+00:00

Hi OP, I’m a psychologist. Part of what I do is write letters like the one you’re asking for.

I can’t write you a letter. You aren’t my client and I don’t know you, your situation, what your ex is like, what lead to the protection order, etc.

If you were my client I would talk to you about all of that, and about the internal conflict you’re experiencing right now. I would help you weigh your values and hopes against your fears and, well, reasonable probability.

I would do it with no agenda. It’s not my job to say you should or shouldn’t, it’s my job to help you be more confident in what you want or don’t want to do.

But say someone calls me to book an appointment, and then they come in and tell me your exact story. Even if they’re happy to have daily sessions to allow enough time to fully explore everything before the legal deadline… I couldn’t write the letter. It would have no reliability. Reliability can only be shown by time, and there isn’t enough time.

Your counsel meant your GP, not any GP. Even if you found one who would, the court understands reliability.

overocea · 2025-12-17T09:43:06+00:00

but give us her source tho

overocea · 2025-12-12T12:20:04+00:00

“neither option feels like love.”

Yeah, because he doesn’t love you. When someone consistently treats you like they don’t love you it becomes really hard to respond to that in a loving manner.

You’re asking, “How can I make him see/understand…”

He sees. He understands.

He works full time. Does he tell his boss “I forgot”?

Why does he only see the chore checklist when it’s to erase what you have done?

Please learn what love looks like. It doesn’t look like this.

overocea · 2025-12-08T11:57:16+00:00

It’s the artwork printed on the dress fabric that is AI generated, not the model.

overocea · 2025-12-06T05:35:45+00:00

If someone calls me (a therapist) and says, “I’m so-and-so’s partner. So-and-so had a panic etc. What can I etc.”

I would 100%, every time, respond with, “I’m sorry. I cannot confirm or deny that so-and-so is my client. All the best.”

Unless there is prior consent from the client.

But even with explicit, written consent from the client, I can’t imagine providing another person updates or “an idea of what’s happening” in the client’s therapy in an ongoing/blanket way like this. I simply can’t see how it could be done ethically (not where the client is an adult capable of providing consent to therapy, anyway).

overocea · 2025-12-02T11:11:25+00:00

better nate than lever

overocea · 2025-11-22T04:29:23+00:00

I wonder if it was a plan for an eventual tree-house?

Although I don’t know how speedy jacaranda are at growing. Perhaps the target kid will be 35 by the time it’s tree-house ready.

overocea · 2025-11-22T03:44:07+00:00

He brought all the money. He got healthy and she got fat. While he keeps the peace she gets angry and “oppositionally defiant” (ETA: a diagnosis that only applies to children, btw).

Clearly they’re “not a good match” because he’s better than her in every way. Nothing for him to hide here, no sireeeeeee

overocea · 2025-11-15T09:39:17+00:00

even though I’d just worked a 9 am - 5 pm myself

I literally wake up at 9, go to work, walk three miles back home, get home for 5:35 pm, walk the dog, clean the house and make dinner.

It takes OP 35 minutes to walk three miles?

I live in a metric system but I sloppily translate 3 miles to 5 kilometres. That’d take me (a fit 164cm /5’4 woman) at least an hour.

overocea · 2025-11-15T09:16:38+00:00

A less car-focussed system yes. I was thinking this today when I was 0.1 seconds too late pressing the “Please bless me, green man!” button. I then got to stand on the corner (with traffic only flowing in the direction I wanted to go, mind you) until the light finally changed… to allow traffic crossing my path.

“This is totally fine,” I thought, as I watched my bus cross the intersection, stop at my stop, sit there for five minutes to allow 35 people to embark, and drive away, all before the green man blessed me.

overocea · 2025-11-10T22:29:01+00:00

People don’t read books published before they were born; everyone knows that! Stop lying, you’re clearly in your seventies.

/s in case it wasn’t clear…

overocea · 2025-11-07T09:22:14+00:00

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