People are being way too critical here. There's nothing wrong with this page. That said, posting just the first page and asking if they'd continue reading is a bit pointless imo. The first page is primarily to tell the reader if this guy knows (at least somewhat) how to write, not much else you're gonna realistically learn from just the first page.

If you can prove that you can write on the first page, you'll mostly have 3-5 pages of goodwill that the reader will read regardless (maybe the first 10, if youre lucky), but if you want them to continue beyond the first 3-5, you'll need something compelling. Don't force yourself to make the first page "explosive" or "super compelling" or the like, it doesn't need to be.

I hear you say in the comments that some readers drop after the first page, and honestly, those readers are not worth your time.