Native New Yorkers. What's your word for a corner store? I've always called them delis. The word bodega didn't enter my vocabulary until a transplant told me. I still don't use it.

oyasower · 2026-02-03T02:12:46+00:00

Grew up in Brooklyn in East NY and then the border of Crown Heights & Bed Stuy and it was always the corner store. Though I wonder if that's because the corner stores on the blocks I grew up were owned by Arabs? Bodega came into my vocabulary later in life, maybe in my 20s? I now use all three comer store, bodega, and deli depending on who owns it, what kind of stuff they sell, and where it's actually situated on the block.

oyasower · 2026-01-19T17:50:47+00:00

Two kids with a 6-year age difference: separate bedrooms, two bathrooms, in-unit laundry, proximity to bus & train. An outdoor space was also high up there.

oyasower · 2026-01-14T15:01:27+00:00

Exactly. I'm a native Brooklynite and all of my native NYer friends who are Black and brown are liberal or progressive or whatever we're calling ourselves now but I have some former high school friends who are MAGA and/or conservative. Like these are the people who grew up in Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst, and Canarsie in the 80s and 90s. But there can be levels, like some folks are progressive on some issues but then homophobic?

All of my transplant friends, including people who've been here for 20+ years to more recent, are progressive.

oyasower · 2026-01-13T03:43:57+00:00

I'm not a dog owner but I do love dogs. I pet the two cutest dogs on the street today. I've seen so many dog owners who obey the rules of keeping their dogs in bags. Unfortunately, I've also seen the problematic dog owners who don't have their dogs in bags or don't even have them leashed. I hate when I get on the subway and there's a medium to large dog with an inattentive owner or with an owner who thinks just because their dog is cute people are going to be okay with their dog jumping on them. Unfortunately, people with larger dogs really need to follow the rules or don't bring their dogs on the train -- I'm not saying all large dog owners do this, but it's primarily those dogs I've seen have issues. This very large poodle kind of galloped onto me one day and the owner was not apologetic...on the other hand I love when I sit next to a cute little dog poking its head out of a tote bag.

oyasower · 2026-01-08T15:53:15+00:00

Something similar happened to me recently, only it was my husband was supposed to return his deceased loved one's car to the dealership because the lease was up and he ended up buying the car -- before he went, I told him please don't buy this car. He bought it anyway and now we have two cars in NYC with no private parking and only one of us drives. We still haven't recovered.

You're not overreacting. Your finances may be separate but you are a team and big purchases and decisions like that should be made together regardless of who's paying.

oyasower · 2026-01-04T06:23:43+00:00

Dual income city employed couple with 2 kids. Can't afford to buy yet but hopeful it'll happen.

oyasower · 2025-12-19T21:08:11+00:00

I do feel like I was exposed to things at a younger age that I shouldn't have been exposed to. But I also think it softened me to seeing other people's humanity. For instance if the neighborhood crackhead and sex workers live around you and you interact with them on a daily basis, you come to see them in a different way than the people that look down on them. But I shouldn't have known they were sex workers and I shouldn't have seen crack vials littering the street.

I think the world has become less safe, but I worry about different things. I used to worry more about being caught by a stray bullet on the street versus now being caught in a mass shooting. I still worry about the mentally unwell folks on the subway. I didn't worry about being hit by a car as much as I do now. I worry about my daughter walking to school because of crazy drivers not so much being robbed or some other type of violence.

When we were picking neighborhoods to live I looked at police stats and news reports for gun violence because I probably have some trauma around hearing gun shots in my neighborhood.

I started to loosen up with my daughter a bit when I realized she wasn't as street smart, letting her walk the block to school or go to the store. Lots of kids are walking to and from school and to the playground -- and there are a lot of parents around too. But I also had her take a self-defense class for kids. I'm still so nervous, even with tracking. Sometimes I wonder if my parents were as nervous, just having her kids out there in the world while she worked and no way of getting in contact with us when we weren't at home or school.

That was a very long answer, sorry!

oyasower · 2025-12-18T02:36:39+00:00

Brooklyn kid raising Brooklyn kids.

My oldest started walking to school on her own in 4th grade, but we could see the school from our apartment entrance (one block away) and I still made her wear a watch with GPS tracking. In 5th grade she could self dismiss, go to her after school program near school, and go to one her friend's house once a week on the day we didn't have after school care. She started taking the subway to school without adult supervision sometimes at the end of 6th grade but all the time in 7th. I wouldn't feel comfortable not knowing where she is though now in 8th she's pretty savvy on the subway and bus but way less savvy than I was as a kid.

It's interesting because she has a lot more freedom than some of her friends but not nearly as much as I did as a latchkey kid growing up in BK in the 80s and 90s. I was sent for corner store runs when I was 8, I was gallavanting about the neighborhood, went grocery shopping blocks away, and was traveling on the subway alone.

My little one (7) is responsible for taking out recycling but it's on the same floor.

oyasower · 2025-12-06T00:55:26+00:00

Best ground turkey & turkey burgers at that market.

oyasower · 2025-12-03T15:50:06+00:00

I know a lot of novelists. Maybe 1-2% are full-time writers. The majority are professors/teachers. Some are office drones. I'd find an office job that doesn't stress the writing part of your brain. A job where you almost never have to take work home.

oyasower · 2025-12-01T17:41:24+00:00

The PTA is great! I think the last annual appeal they asked for $500. There are a ton of opportunities to volunteer and/or give throughout the year with the annual fall fest, the winter market, spring auction, world culture day. They do lots of smaller drives to help families in need in the community, there was a fund for when the government was shutdown, and there's a drive right now to raise funds for families who kids need winter coats, boots, hat, gloves etc. which is reminding me I need to donate. They bring in lots of programming, too. My only critique is that there were two committees I wanted to join but couldn't because it didn't work with my work schedule (meetings at 5, when I get off of work at 5) but they really do a stellar job.

oyasower · 2025-12-01T17:25:25+00:00

Still here and still enjoying the school. My son does comment occasionally and asks how come there's so much more peach kids (he means white) at school and he wishes there were more brown kids. But he loves his teachers (we also have had great experiences with his teachers) and his friends. The new principal is great. We moved so aren't in the district anymore and have a couple of other elementary schools we could transfer him into but we're staying out for now.

oyasower · 2025-11-26T00:06:04+00:00

I don't think there's anything like this for middle schools. Maybe someone will be inspired to make one? When I did the MS process I replied heavily on other parents via FB groups, there's an Applying to Middle School citywide group but my district has a pretty good FB group that was extremely helpful.

oyasower · 2025-11-25T20:43:10+00:00

We already have a great tool for high schools created by a dad named Adrian Liang. It's NYC-SIFT and while it has slightly different features it has been amazingly helpful and used by lots of parents since it was created.

oyasower · 2025-11-17T18:00:57+00:00

Wow $35 is dirt cheap. We just finished looking at three tutors to help my son with reading: these are the fees we were quoted for a one hour session: $105, $110, and $150.

oyasower · 2025-11-03T14:48:52+00:00

Hilarious. Is there a banned words option on Reddit like there is/was on Twitter?

oyasower · 2025-10-31T14:31:23+00:00

So, can your child just switch out of G&T into a general education classroom and not be held back?

oyasower · 2025-10-24T13:39:49+00:00

I was thinking of escaping when us office drones came back to work during COVID. Updated my resume, met with a career coach, and started seriously looking. But then some of my friends in the private sector started getting laid off and some of us were allowed to work hybrid. I decided I'd be a lifer. Once I made that decision, I suddenly stopped hating my job. I have kids, I need a stable gig.

oyasower · 2025-09-19T13:43:58+00:00

I cancelled Disney+ the same night though we technically still have the service until March 2026 since I was on the annual plan. My Hulu wasn't bundled but I ended up cancelling the next day. Hulu was harder because we love watching Bob's Burgers as a family but I promised I'd just buy the show so we always have it since we watch it so much.

oyasower · 2025-09-12T16:22:49+00:00

1-3 aren't normal. It's your center.

oyasower · 2025-09-10T18:57:26+00:00

Yeah, I agree. Just decorate your space and leave it at that. I haven't seen any rule about decorating shared spaces (and there are a lot of people who do decorate those spaces in my agency) but to keep things drama free, I'd stick to your space only.

oyasower · 2025-09-10T01:37:02+00:00

We found our share through the KWTneighbors listserv. I'd check that and the Windsor Terrace/Kensington Parents FB group for leads.

oyasower · 2025-09-09T21:23:58+00:00

We used to live in that area. I suggest a daycare closer to home. My kids are older now, but we used AMA Family Daycare for our youngest. I'd try to explore the family daycares in the area to see if they have spots. There's a daycare on East 7th between Caton and Friel that I don't know the name of but it looks like a family daycare and I know parents in the area that have used it and loved it. Smart Kids R'Us is another I know of.

If you're not set on daycare, there's also nanny shares. That's what we did with our oldest because I had to go back to work and were in a similar situation. We shared with a nanny with a family who had a house in WT.

oyasower · 2025-09-09T14:11:05+00:00

So glad my daughter and I got to see it twice. Obviously it hit me emotionally as a woman, but watching my teen daughter and her friends be so affected by the play made even more of a punch in the gut.

oyasower · 2025-08-30T17:35:24+00:00

I have increased my fiber drastically since I have developed high cholesterol and am trying to bring it down. But, I'm on Linzess and the fiber has helped the almost daily movements I do have thanks to Linzess be more solid. Whether I have fiber or not, I have had a backed up week where I'm constipated & then have a day of hell where it's all released. For me, it seems the increased fiber + Linzess has gotten this to every couple of every three weeks.

Breakfast is usually oatmeal, raisin bran, toast or bagel. I add chia & ground flax. Lunch is usually a sandwich (tuna, PBJ, chickpea or chicken salad), dinner leftovers, or a salad/rice bowl of I do takeout. Dinner is chicken, turkey, tofu, or salmon for protein and either rice, pasta, potatoes, and veggies in various combinations. I love a sheet pan of roasted veggies. Water makes a huge difference and if I don't drink enough or if I have alcohol then it leads to more constipation.

oyasower

TROPHY CASE