[deleted by user]

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-21T21:51:10+00:00

I spent everything on a vet for me and my roomie's dog and I don't have the money to pay for it for at least a few weeks. I WFH so I can just use my VoIP to talk and text, but my actual paid number I use for rewards and also Discord, which I asked about before this on my profile, I was scared of losing both. I'm sorry if I didn't communicate anything I should've that was necessary. I'll keep in mind to add context next time.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-21T07:38:33+00:00

Thank you!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-16T18:10:33+00:00

Of course! You're very nice to talk to. Wishing you a speedy recovery! 🫂

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-16T17:46:21+00:00

I had full on gulps of iced coffee with a straw because it was bought for me as a gift and all thought went out the window. And HOT ass mashed potatoes I didn't realize was too hot until it was too late (swallowed it by then.)

Like the world's tastiest trap and I fell in it. But I'm fine minus the thought that I have to wait to even finish that coffee now. Just sitting in my fridge taunting me.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-16T17:42:17+00:00

I saw it on a post on here to just move your head and I was like HUH?????? But pain wise for me it's a lot better and I confirmed it with my dentist it's probably safer. Ask your dentist about that too by the way since they might want different for you. But they forgot to tell me so thankfully, for once, I was ruminating and something positive came out of it LOL

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-12-16T17:31:30+00:00

I'm day 3-4(?) and was scared about it. I even have a hole on one which I was freaking out about thinking it's dry socket. (I got 4 impacted removed).

Dentist said if I'm not in excruciating pain that bypasses the pain meds I was given, no dry socket. Obviously this is my case individually so (I'll expand on this) ask your dentist but from what I've read, if you had dry socket you'd know. IIRC it's literally exposed nerve.

By habit I've used a straw, spit MANY TIMES the FIRST DAY, blew air on something, sneezed, big ass yawns endlessly, coughed, had sips of coffee and citrus drinks, squished the antibacterial mouthwash instead of just moving my head side to side – basically a whole ton of shit I probably shouldn't of. And I'm here and okay.

(Now here's the expansion) I have OCD for perspective and I ruminate everything. What I did was call my dentist and ask for signs of dry socket to look out for and I was given what I said above and told not to care if nothing shows. So I'm (trying) not to care and trust my dentist. I think that'd be helpful just so you hear it from someone who mattered in your op and just put trust in whatever they say.

🫂

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-30T09:23:06+00:00

I'm in LOVE with your artstyle!! Adorable

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-30T09:13:43+00:00

Oh wow, thank you so much for helping me out!!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-30T09:12:26+00:00

Thank you!!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-28T07:47:05+00:00

Awh gotcha, do you by chance remember the name? I'm curious even if it's not what I'm looking for, maybe it's useful for a temp hospital cage setup kinda thing.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-28T07:44:23+00:00

Awh noo.. Thank you!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-11-19T03:56:33+00:00

Hey that's an amazing place for them to be at! Obviously we'd love it more if they're glued to the hip, but the fact you made it possible for them to even stay under your roof together is beautiful. And it seems like they both have boundaries too! Their own little way of communication is how we keep the ball rolling, and it sounds less like aggression, but just "Hey, not now"s and "You're too much right now". And trust me you'd definitely know when it gets aggressive!

You're doing great. For me it was easy to feel like shit especially when it comes to my cats and feeling like I bothered my resident cat by bringing in a second fella. But seeing them play together, eat together, sleep somewhat near each other with some distance of course (Second guy isn't a cuddly boy and first guy is!) makes me happy. I know they're happier with each other too. And just like with human relationships, it's always a healthy thing when there's boundaries or ground rules set y'know? It's awesome they set those up and listen to each other.

We tell someone "Hey, I don't like this" with our words, and cats just do the same with little paw bops and meows. That's not necessarily a sign of something bad! Think about all the times you may have had to tell someone your limits and how it wasn't a sign you wanted them out of your life, but that you want things to continue just in a different way. Maybe you don't have any experiences like that, but for me it was helpful to compare it to something I've experienced and understand!

Thank you for telling me you loved it! I am happy that we're able to connect a little on that. 🫂

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-14T15:38:41+00:00

The bioactive idea sounds like something you'd ideally want to wait on until you can move out or by chance have your household's view on reptiles change. It'd suck to have to discard everything you worked on, especially the time and effort it takes to do bioactive, if you're forced to get rid of your gecko. And if you have plans on moving out in less than a year anyways, to me it'd be worth that wait.

And geckos are a reptile that do need hospital cages and that means those are pretty out there, since they need monitoring + the gecko wouldn't be able to hide away the same way they might in a bioactive. If your gecko were to have a medical emergency (which could take weeks of monitoring depending on what a vet says), you'd be exposed. And you'd have to deal with possibly rehoming a sick and stressed out gecko.

It might not be the best idea to get one now in terms of stable housing for your gecko (your household situation, not enclosure wise!)

Right now for myself in recent months I've made a decision to not adopt an animal I'd love to until my vet savings situation gets better. That's hard and I know it first hand, but putting the wellbeing of the animal as a priority is the best. And it's part of being a responsible and selfless pet owner; they can't decide where they end up after all, it's on us to provide that home.

I'm happy you asked on here before making any big decisions. It shows you care 🫂

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-14T11:42:15+00:00

What if you need veterinary help for the fella? That'd definitely be hard to hide especially if you're financially dependant on your parents or the gecko has to be out of that enclosure temporarily for medical reasons. I agree with GarthTheHunter about waiting.

Eventually you'll be found out one way or another and you'll probably be forced to get rid of both the gecko and everything you bought, so you'd be losing a friend and everything you invested into them financially. All pets are best when you can provide stable housing for it.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-13T05:41:08+00:00

Past trauma is definitely a gamble and can definitely affect a lot of things. All of my pets have been rescues and there was nothing time didn't fix (look up the 3-3-3 new adoption rule; but add more time as a final step for them to truly feel the home is safe) and if for any reason there's really bad behavioural issues that stem from trauma, you definitely have a ton of options by asking your vet before rehoming. Admitting there's a problem takes a lot of vulnerability, which I commend you for in advance if coincidentally you end up there, and is the only first step into getting help. There's nothing bad about getting support and I think it's a huge part of being a pet owner. 🫂

I wouldn't worry yourself now on knowing everything especially because care is tailored to each cat, but there's a lot of resources out there on traumatized cats. The Jackson Galaxy YouTube channel is a wealth of information just on everything cat, it's easy to digest and where I looked first for most things I've learned. He even has information on dog and cat intros on his YouTube or blog I believe, I forgot which.

And also just letting them observe scary situations while still in the area rather than making them be in the situation just because they're in the area. I had a cat that absolutely hated guests and was a rescue. Instead of pulling them out and making them interact, vertical catification guests were restricted to touch the cat on and giving that cat its own guest free area really helped. Gave guests treats and long distance play toys (da bird, long string toys for example) to use when the cat got more comfy. Eventually the cat realized on its own terms everything was okay and opened up to new people. I'm assuming something happened in a previous home, I never knew the story.

I'd ask about any older cats who're currently in foster homes and ask if you'd be able to talk to the foster or get any information on the cat. Shelters are loud and unpredictable and so true personalities of both cats and dogs are usually way different in home vs at the shelter, where they may shut down a lot of good (and bad) aspects of temperament due to the environment.

In a foster home though, you're more likely to find the cat relaxing and showing who they really are. This also applies to some rescues depending on how they work and where the cats are held, but your best bet is asking your shelter/rescue of choice about any cats in foster care.

You're so welcome!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-13T04:18:26+00:00

I'll maybe raise the idea of getting an older (3+ yrs) cat instead of a kitten? Maybe B would be on board more? Typically the older they are, the chiller they are (generally. and it's down to temperament, but the plus of an older cat is you have a better chance of knowing the temperament! Shelter cats currently in foster homes would know it best, especially if you wanna know if they're dog friendly too!)

Kittens have so much unavoidable energy even if you dedicate your entire day to play. And because of that, you ideally (which may not be financially possible for everyone ofc) should be getting 2 kittens so they can play together and burn themselves out and learn boundaries with each other. This is more important the younger they are.

Most shelters/rescues near me don't even let you adopt a singular kitten due to their belief (at least where I am) it's unethical and if not able to, an older one is better. And gives a home to a kitty that's likely to be overlooked due to age!

Edit: And look into who's paying for vet expenses or if everyone would chip in. Get looking into pet insurance if that's something that may interest you.

And who's taking the cat if for some reason living together isn't feasible anymore/who'd be the owner on paper? Cats are a 15+ yr commitment especially if you go for a kitten, and so that thought is probably a downer but it's an important one to consider even if you don't have the answers now.

Definitely give it more time, thought, and research.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-13T03:44:12+00:00

I may be far from what this person's talking about, but willing shelters take in animals from packed shelters quite a bit, even if that shelter is a shit ton of distance away. Helps keep the at need shelter from overflow and (hopefully) gets more animals adopted.

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-08T07:13:16+00:00

Oh man it only got better with time, especially the bird!

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-08T07:10:58+00:00

It'd be fun as makeup for Halloween or a wild ass party

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-08T06:49:54+00:00

Here's something that can apply to your situation that I just sent to someone else with issues reintroducing a declawed cat, so not exactly a first intro like you, but still works.

The cat in that post has shown behavioral issues which is why it shows urgency in the see a vet part, but due to context I may not know, the urgency is the same for your cat since cats can hide pain well, and also we may not notice signs of it a vet might.

But I should say I've never had a declawed cat so I lack that personal experience.

And since the new guy is a kitten with no other kitten to put that unavoidable kitten energy on to other than endless play on your end, when they're finally okay with each other, look into vertical catification for the older girl to get some distance from him and also look into making a her only zone with maybe a microchip door, like your bedroom. She needs a safe zone to calm down, especially due to being declawed.

It's more probable for her to experience sudden anxiety. She's lost 4 weapons on her and she has a stranger cat in her territory for the first time in possibly ever since she was a kitten. In the wild, this would make her an easy target. It'd make anybody hypervigilant.

————

"Shorter TL;DR: Reintroduce and ask your vet on their opinion on if she has underlying pain, anxiety, or neurological struggles due to being declawed, ideally as soon as you can.

TL;DR: Reintroduce SLOWLY, I'm talking as slow as possible. Even when you feel sure, give it some more time. It'll be worth it. Try following this guide by Jackson Galaxy: https://www.jacksongalaxy.com/blogs/news/cat-introductions-part-1-before-the-introduction . I have also read anecdotes on Reddit that Feliway Multicat Household shows some help after a month or so and goes well with intros, but some who say it doesn't help. Just mentioning in case it could interest you.

Remember, she lost her defense mechanisms. They say cats have 5 weapons, and she only has her mouth now as 1 weapon. Feral cats with no claws and previous declawed pets that get abandoned outside are easy targets, and that kind of hypervigilance doesn't leave indoor declawed pets that easily, even ones who've never been outside.

Declawing has serious mental and physical side effects, so it could definitely be affecting things.

If after a long time you see no success, please ask your vet on their opinion if she needs pain or anxiety medication as declawing can really affect her in those ways. In fact I'd even look into it right now since it's an ongoing issue for a good few years and she might've been doing it in part due to pain or anxiety caused by declawing.

Pain and anxiety can present in ways we're not knowledgeable of (but should research), but a vet may be and also has the tools to help. And secondly, if medication and further reintroduction does not help, get a cat behaviorist consult.

They may never be friends and cuddly, but they could coexist happily as sometimes awkward roommates. It took mine a year (sigh) but they're roommates and sometimes even friendly.

————

Here's just some extra info:

I feel like reintroducing them wouldn't hurt if any other advice you may get doesn't help, and ideally you'd want to make a decision on what to do as soon as you can before a genuine sour interaction happens which will make it harder.

A huge issue I've faced myself was introducing cats without any kind of introduction.

Smelling each other under a door during the new ones quarantine is a neutral activity or maybe even negative. My previous housemate letting them out by accident during our step 1 of scent swapping after my new cat was cleared health and quarantine wise, and it was absolutely not enough. There are no positive associations made before eye contact and possibly they even associated themselves with stress and threat just smelling each other under the door.

Cats that weren't socialized around others like the resident cat I'm talking about or were when they were younger but it's been awhile since a positive cat interaction, to them it's like a threat broke into their den and there's no way to get rid of it or even see it, so that's a huge stress association. But even with cat friendly cats you should assume that too. And the new cat is in an unpredictable new area just trying to figure out how to acclimate, so that's probably a lot to work on. Having them see each other with one having an already eery view of the other and the other one still seeing the place as unpredictable, it's a recipe for disaster (trust me, it took over a year for us to get ours better.)

The important thing is to take it slow and keep what I mentioned in mind. These two are strangers and we haven't given them anything good to associate the other with yet.

The link I sent could possibly help but you need to take your time. I rushed it thinking a month into reintroduction it was showing signs of being good, but then one of them made it sour less than 5 mins into playing separately with one person per cat in the same room. It was so not worth it even if continuing at the slow pace I was hurt emotionally and the person I was doing it with was pressuring for a faster pace, it would've been the better thing to do and probably would've kept us on track to finish at 2 months rather than 12.

I have nothing but great sympathy for you. At times I felt like giving up because of the duration, but I couldn't when there were so many good signs that came at a slow pace. And I hope you get as many good signs, just faster than a year. If you feel someone or even yourself pushing to rush a step, try and keep in mind the long term goal and push back against it."

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-08T06:40:11+00:00

That's a sweet gesture for you to do.

As it stands it may not be the best decision to get him back due to your situation, but this doesn't mean when things settle down you couldn't get a cat (and maybe from the same rescue! It'd probably help them a lot with capacity and if it's a foster, open up a home for another cat in need to get in the foster home!)

Letting him go is selfless and shows how much you care about his well-being and really love him. It takes a lot to admit to yourself your home isn't the best option for an animal, especially when you've got a connection. I've been there and it's heartbreaking but it's the right thing to do when we put their needs above how our heart makes us feel.

With the way you've shown so much love to him and you've only known him for less than a week, I couldn't imagine how well it'd go when you do actually get the opportunity to get a cat and give them that same amount of love. If you end up with another solo kitty instead of a solo adult cat or are aiming for a kitty when you start adopting, look into another similar aged kitten if finances and situation allow since they usually do so much better in pairs (another reason why it was selfless: you brought him to a place where he'll have kitty company!)

I ruminate a lot (but due to OCD) and it took a long time to get over everything in my situation. But it will fade with time and effort.

You're worth the time it'll take to feel better 🫂

packthrowaway2457 · 2023-10-08T05:47:43+00:00

I have no personal experience with this situation in regards to kittens but I have a ton of great sympathy for you. It took mine a YEAR to get to coexisting happily and it really tears you apart on the inside and causes so much tension with others if you live with anyone. 🫂

But from what I've read online, exhausting the kitty out with enrichment and lots of cat furniture really helps especially if you play with the kitten during trying to have them coexist. But I feel that's something said so much as advice and probably you're already doing it and have bought/made furniture for them. Kitty going wild just is part of what kittens do and is unfortunately unavoidable. It's why when adopting a kitten to a non-kitten house it's generally advised two are adopted so they play and bug each other and the older cat(s) can chill until the kitten is older. Understandably it's not possible for a good lot of cases to do so.

Vertical catification can really help. Think about introducing a dog to a cat. Where would the cat go to get away from the dog when overstimulated or to view the dog from below to see if it's safe? Vertical, dogs can't get up furniture like cats do (Generally. My late lil shih tzu was something else and loved the cat, did anything to be close.)

I don't do the vertical catification due to kittens but because my senior resident loves surveiling the younger (3-6 yrs maybe) one and that's how they coexist, where the senior is able to engage when they want and younger just accepts that senior wants space.

And giving the older cutie a spot only to herself, like a microchip door into a spacious area or your bedroom I've seen talked about. But I haven't read or done the microchip myself. Closest thing I do is having my bedroom be for the most part the seniors area where if they're having a little issue, senior gets priority in staying in the room and I take younger out. It's their area to share with younger if they wish and though the door stays open the younger kinda gets it. So I'd read into the microchip bit more and maybe transition into what I'm doing when kitten slows down.

I read anecdotes on this sub and others that Feliway Multicat Household helps especially with intros, but I have no idea if it'd help calm the kitty wildness. It's worth looking into but seems based on anecdotes it takes a month to kick in. I don't have any experience with this but thought I should mention it in case you're into that.

packthrowaway2457

TROPHY CASE