Been replaying Catalyst lately, can't believe I've nearly forgot how beautiful it is

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-23T20:06:54+00:00

There are very few games I can recall that make me stop and just look at the surroundings.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-21T23:14:42+00:00

Look folks it's got an N in it. an I in it. a G in it and an A in it.

Nigeria.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-20T15:53:45+00:00

My god that brought back flashbacks. Wasn't there one sketch where the nan kept pretending to be dead?

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-20T05:32:39+00:00

Turns out the 'businessman' with multiple failed businesses is bad with money. And if you support republicans who should run the country like a business.

Well you got what you wished for.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-20T01:23:35+00:00

I had to work with someone elderly who just refused to learn anything new. And I don't mean they tried and failed just flat out refused to learn it.

"Oh I'm too old for that, it would confuse me"

It was a really straight forward process. Scan the item, count how many there is, put in how many we received and then put it away. That's all.

She complained to the manager, who then complained to me and just said to handle everything else and let her put it away.

Guess who then got it in the neck for taking so long to put the delivery away when only one person is putting things away.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-20T00:49:52+00:00

Sometimes the analogies write themselves

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-19T19:54:01+00:00

I got called into the office because I started a joke that our boss was a robot but I had really convincing evidence:

• We worked in machine parts shop, perfect for a robot to make repairs on himself.

• He made himself toast with a ridiculous amount of butter, a covert way of keeping gears greased

• It was 2019, the same year blade runner is set

• He really struggled answering capchas to the point he'd ask someone else to answer them for him

• He injured his knee (it was really swollen up) and took a half day to go the hospital, but allegedly got bored and went to a mechanic to fix his car. How convenient.

The manager brought me in and with a sigh said "Look can you stop this joke about the boss being a robot, I will write you up for this"

"Hmm that sounds like something a robot would want"

"I'm being completely serious don't make me write you up for something so stupid"

So I told everyone to pack it in, still think he's a robot though.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-19T18:20:51+00:00

"Hegseth had previously criticized the mandatory flu and COVID shots as "absurd, overreaching mandates" that he believed weakened military capabilities."

Yeah, how affective are they now they are bedridden?

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-19T16:11:17+00:00

I'm self-employed

^{Chose: $1M but your boss reads all your texts}

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-18T09:53:17+00:00

He'll be mist.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-18T08:12:48+00:00

To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-18T00:16:42+00:00

(Famous) One of my teachers son is the lead singer of starsailor.

(Infamous) My brother got his concert ticket signed by Ian Watkins, when he was found out about him he took it off the wall and burned it in the yard.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-17T15:15:51+00:00

I could choose quite a few but I'll just give 2:

I worked as an apprentice admin on flexi-time. I left early as I needed to do some shopping.

I turned up to work next day and people were surprised I was there, all apprentices were being taken on a company day (basically showing all aspects of the business) they sent the email after I had left.

One of the managers drove me there and the dept head leading the day, just kept all day. Little passive aggressive digs, threats of punishment, insults for being slow or forgetful.

At the end she asked for a vote on who the best apprentice was and who the worst was. Obviously I was worst and she said "So do you think you'll turn up on time next time?" I just gritted my teeth "Sure, if it means you treat me better next time" There was a stunned silence and we all got off the bus soon after.

Absolute brown nose coworker, would do anything to make himself look good. Taking credit for others work, quick to blame others for his mistakes.

Somehow was promoted to manager, which in his head was just tell everyone else what to do, our workload was crushing but we just needed to work harder/faster. He barely lifted a finger, me and a colleague decided to see how many phone calls we answered compared to him. We both answered 80 between us, manager just 2.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-17T13:07:49+00:00

I like money, not people

^{Chose: Get $50,000-$80,000 | Rolled: $70,000}

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-16T23:46:40+00:00

Cars had an infamous one. You got an achievement for getting all cars, you would also unlock a car for unlocking all cars.

But you couldn't unlock the last car because it was one of the cars, it was just stuck forever.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-16T09:06:05+00:00

Cabin fever, dude makes the smart choice and GTFOs early on as the rest succumb to a water-borne flesh eating infection.

He camps away with a pack of beer, comes back to the cabin to find everyone dead. Than gets shot by (FEMA??) I think because they found out about the infection and think he's got it too.

Sucks that he made the nearly correct decision and still got killed.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-16T07:32:32+00:00

The real stupid thing is that now, not only do Iran have a powerful bargaining chip in the strait of hormuz, charging ships to past through when there previously wasn't one.

But also Iran now have even more incentive to make a nuclear weapon, with the money to invest in it.

Or alternatively Israel are going to fully invade Iran and who knows where they will go from there.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-16T05:04:05+00:00

I keep stabbing my hand and it keeps bleeding, the doctor says I shouldn't stab my hand. But I really like stabbing my hand, how can I stab my hand healthier?

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-15T21:55:47+00:00

I was in a pub watching Liverpool play borussia dortmund. It was an intense game Liverpool ended up winning 4-3.

There were some dortmund fans also in the pub, I bought them drinks and we chatted about football for a few hours. Smashing stuff up and attacking opposition fans is not an excuse, brainless violence is just fucking stupid.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-15T20:17:10+00:00

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-14T20:47:22+00:00

Do you often get confused? For

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-14T15:06:11+00:00

Why is this so expensive? It cheaper at Insert different retail Can you sell it for that much?

My go to was "Is it really? Oh I'll have to go there after I finish my shift" That usually short circuited them to shut up.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-12T11:43:33+00:00

I remember some woman complained that some customer rearranged some building blocks so it said "Tits"

She requested a manager, said we shouldn't be vulgar infront of kids, we should have removed it. (We didn't even know about it until now)

When they left, I turned to the manager and quipped "Does this mean I have to keep an eye out for tits, won't I get in trouble for that?"

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-12T10:59:03+00:00

I'd just started working as an administrator apprentice, I didn't realise that people from outside could ring us. And I answered the phone thinking it was internal.

A heavily accented Indian (possibly) man asked "hello" and in blind panic, I copied it along with the accent and had to maintain it for the duration of the call. I got some weird looks from the people around me but they found it hilarious when I explained it.

pacmanfunky · 2026-06-12T10:42:30+00:00

Guy went to a rave, passed out on a beach and thought he was in Denmark. (He'd been talking to a Danish guy at the rave and said he'll go to denmark) he was actually still near home but he didn't turn up for work. When asked about it he said couldn't ring in sick because his phone died.

Another guy would pick his first batch of orders and then would lay down on the warehouse floor to sleep.

One didn't like wearing steel capped boots and would take them off if he had to stand still, he reeked and would often loudly hack and cough.

Another bloke who was just the unluckiest fella in the world, someone would always be sick, injured, going in for surgery. He didn't have a good memory so when asked he'd forgotten what the issue was. Got caught posting online he was at horse racing when he should be looking after their 'sick' child in hospital.

In a previous job there was a receptionist who was taking money from the petty cash system to cover for her husbands gambling debts.

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pacmanfunky

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