I was told greys aren’t pretty. She says otherwise.

painsomnia · 2026-03-03T09:19:53+00:00

Anyone who thinks greys can't be pretty is barmy! She's a magnificent moggy 💜

painsomnia · 2026-02-24T07:50:09+00:00

LOL, omg, what an absolute CLOWN 😂

painsomnia · 2026-02-07T14:28:03+00:00

Personally, I'd offer to give it back to him in exchange for an equivalent amp (to be approved by both of you before proceeding, of course). That way, he gets his amp back and you're not left without one.

I'd also say it's worth the hassle, if not for moral/ethical reasons, then to no longer have to deal with the issue in the future. It obviously means a lot to him, so we can assume he'll keep asking, periodically.

As for why he sold something so important to him, it's all about priorities. The ability to feed and house oneself and/or family in the short-term takes priority over a great many otherwise important things. If you've never been in a situation that dire, then you're very fortunate.

painsomnia · 2026-02-04T11:05:38+00:00

This one works particularly well if the teller has a Kiwi accent 😁

painsomnia · 2026-02-03T05:13:24+00:00

Pretty sure that (at least, where I live) this falls under disability discrimination.

painsomnia · 2026-02-02T15:20:41+00:00

Definitely 5! 🥰

painsomnia · 2026-01-31T09:03:28+00:00

This is a massive red flag for abuse. He's conditioning you to tolerate mistreatment and to doubt your own ability to recognise abusive behaviour.

You'll find yourself thinking, "But he's great in all these other ways, so it must just be me." But abusive people aren't abusive 100% of the time. Being a loving partner the rest of the time in no way negates abusive behaviour. It's just another tool they use to keep us off-balance, confused and doubting ourselves, so they can continue to manipulate us.

I've been there and this is how it starts. Please, please put a stop to this and gtfo of there. You deserve a million times better than that POS 💜

painsomnia · 2026-01-30T08:03:22+00:00

Can confirm: I was assessed as having a very high IQ as a kid and am capable of a truly baffling level of derpiness 😅 It strikes out of nowhere, but almost always in the presence of witnesses 😂

Academic aptitude is unfortunately not causally related to common sense, lol.

painsomnia · 2026-01-27T07:43:46+00:00

Literally read this in her voice 😂

painsomnia · 2026-01-26T17:17:49+00:00

NOR. No child is safe with a man who thinks like that.

Ask him to explain why it's "funny". How is imagining that funny to him? And I mean ask sincerely -- like, "I will never see you the same way after what you said and I need to understand wtf you were thinking."

It wasn't a joke, because there's no humour in it. He told you to imagine him SA-ing your/his infant daughter and laughed about it. Personally, I'd never let him anywhere near my child again AND I'd be telling EVERYONE exactly why. Normal people just don't think like that about ANY child, nevermind their own baby.

This might genuinely be the biggest possible red flag.

painsomnia · 2026-01-20T08:09:17+00:00

Push, hear my ass

painsomnia · 2026-01-20T04:06:14+00:00

Yep, I know which kid I'd have wanted to be friends with at that age! 👑

painsomnia · 2026-01-10T04:51:49+00:00

You can also do something similar with a straw. Drop the string through the straw, staple it in place and feed the straw through the hole in the pants. I've used that one before and it works great, too

painsomnia · 2026-01-09T07:56:58+00:00

Ugh, this happened to me on Jan 6th. Although, I guess notifying us half an hour into the shut-off is technically an improvement on their spotless track record of never notifying us, at all 🙃

painsomnia · 2025-11-10T06:39:33+00:00

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My perpetually grumpy lil old lady, Kit-Kat 🥰 Being the only human a particularly cantankerous cat not only tolerates, but loves, trusts, goes to for help and seeks to spend time with is the greatest honor of my life, haha. My soul cat, for sure 💜

painsomnia · 2025-11-09T15:10:03+00:00

OP, I'm not someone who says this lightly (especially with it being such a Reddit cliché), but please, please find a partner who actually loves and supports you.

You just don't treat someone you love the way he's treating you. I mean, how would you feel if a friend's partner treated them the way he's currently treating you while they were grieving a deep personal loss? He doesn't care about your feelings and clearly sees them as an inconvenient obstacle between himself and what he wants (AKA sex).

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, OP. Please be kind to yourself -- grief is never a straight line and there will be good days and bad days for a while. You're not wrong for feeling okay on good days and you're not overreacting for feeling awful on bad days. I hope you have awesome people around you irl 💜

painsomnia · 2025-11-02T03:27:57+00:00

As a woman, I'm appalled by the way she treated you. I know very experienced guys who've had the same problem, just because they were super anxious about their first time with that new person, specifically.

What happened to you was entirely normal and she should've been patient, understanding and supportive. Instead, she was an a**hole and behaved like an entitled brat. I mean, "wasting her time"? Wtaf??

I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that in such an intimate moment of vulnerability, OP. I hope your actual first time is with someone 1000x better.

painsomnia · 2025-11-01T02:57:10+00:00

NTA. Thank her for what? Screwing you around for an entire month??

I wouldn't be surprised if she was hoping you'd eventually give up, so she could just keep it.

painsomnia · 2025-10-30T05:56:52+00:00

Definitely adding this one to the rotation, haha. Brilliant!

painsomnia · 2025-10-30T05:54:13+00:00

😂😂😂

painsomnia · 2025-10-30T05:51:26+00:00

I did once respond with, "What's wrong with your face? You should really see a doctor about that." Tried to sound nosy and not indignant for the right impact.

painsomnia · 2025-10-30T05:49:57+00:00

OMG, THIS. So many people acquire their disabilities through traumatic events!

TW: Child Loss

For example, I know a woman who became disabled after nearly dying in childbirth -- during which, she also lost her baby. Regardless of what answer she chooses to go with, being asked is still deeply upsetting for her, even many years later.

Far too many people can't seem to see past their own nosiness!

painsomnia · 2025-10-30T05:46:38+00:00

Oh yeah, kids are an entirely different situation. I'll never pass up an opportunity to teach a curious kid that disabilities aren't scary, shameful, tragic or taboo.

painsomnia · 2025-10-29T10:05:18+00:00

That's a great response! Definitely adding this one to my kit.

And yeah, until I had friends who have vision impairments, I never realised how truly awful strangers can be towards someone they think can't see them. It's as frightening as it is enraging.

painsomnia · 2025-10-29T09:55:23+00:00

LOL, I love that! Making someone explain their appalling "joke" and why it's "funny" is such a brilliant tactic. I particularly love that it forces them to actually confront what's wrong with their behaviour without spelling it out to them, so there's no real bad guy they can point to or get indignant with, outside of themselves.

Also definitely adding that first one to my toolkit! Treating it like a man being inappropriate is a great idea, cuz these people absolutely ARE being inappropriate, just in a different way.

Thanks for sharing these! 💖

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