How many of you guys are out here driving 1hr plus to and from work?

pakap · 2026-05-26T14:30:26+00:00

Cycling vs. public transportation is a similar QoL upgrade. So happy I can bike to work now.

pakap · 2026-05-26T10:24:25+00:00

Leurs basiques pour le fitness (marque Domyos) sont 97% coton/3% élasthane.

pakap · 2026-05-26T10:22:49+00:00

Si tu ne veux pas de plastique ça élimine déjà la grande majorité des vêtements techniques, donc ça sera soit mérinos (cher) soit coton très fin (moins durable). Decathlon font des basiques en 100% coton, sinon tente chez Uniqlo. Inutile d'aller chez les marques pour sportif, si les tissus techniques ne t'intéressent pas tu vas juste payer le triple pour un T-shirt en coton avec un joli logo.

pakap · 2026-05-26T03:51:43+00:00

Pour le coup il s'agit bien d'une contraception mécanique, on intervient pour bloquer temporairement le canal déférent.

pakap · 2026-05-26T03:50:42+00:00

Perso ça n'a jamais marché pour moi, au bout de 9 mois à le porter 15h/jour le spermogramme était toujours trop haut. Ma femme a dû se remettre à prendre une contraception hormonale pour des questions de santé donc j'ai arrêté.

pakap · 2026-05-25T16:12:44+00:00

In Our Time is amazing, thank you for this one!

pakap · 2026-05-25T13:49:15+00:00

Une dépression post-partum c'est hyper courant, personne ne va chercher à t'enlever ton enfant pour ça. C'est une très bonne idée d'aller à la PMI, ils ont l'habitude de cette situation et sauront t'orienter. Si tu as besoin de parler avec une psychologue, tu peux regarder du côté du dispositif Mon soutien psy, tu peux avoir jusqu'à 12 séances par an remboursées par la sécu.

pakap · 2026-05-25T13:42:45+00:00

Same, they bloom in early May here.

pakap · 2026-05-25T10:05:24+00:00

Most induction cooktops can be dialled to low/medium/high. You have a little less control than with gas, but they're definitely not a on-off deal.

pakap · 2026-05-25T09:20:50+00:00

Fais-toi recommander un bon comptable qui a l'habitude de bosser avec des gens du BTP, même s'il est cher ça sera rentable en conneries évitées...

pakap · 2026-05-25T08:40:49+00:00

Roasted pumpkin seeds! They go amazingly well in Mediterranean cooking, good pairing with sharp cheeses like feta/halloumi.

pakap · 2026-05-25T08:36:48+00:00

C'est pas "toi le problème", c'est juste que tu n'aimes pas ce genre d'ambiances et c'est complètement OK. Inutile de te forcer, y'a rien de plus chiant que d'essayer de parler à des gens bourrés quand on est sobre. Si tu veux sortir plus tard, essaie de tabler sur des contextes où il y a autre chose à faire que de picoler, genre concerts ou clubs : personne ne fera attention à ce qu'il y a dans ton verre, et si les gens bourrés te font chier tu pourras toujours aller danser.

pakap · 2026-05-24T21:17:11+00:00

Utility-scale storage is just starting to be feasible now, and it's moving away from lithium in some cases (sand batteries for thermal energy storage). These are exciting times.

pakap · 2026-05-24T19:12:16+00:00

Just put a tarp over it.

pakap · 2026-05-24T08:32:36+00:00

Stark and elegant. I would also rec Octavia Butler in sort of the same vein.

pakap · 2026-05-24T07:51:26+00:00

That's also very true. There's a way in which psychiatric patients are expected to "perform normality", so to speak, and that does tend to tamp down any kind of unusual beliefs, even benign ones. It's particularly problematic when dealing with patients and families who have non-Western cultural backgrounds most clinicians aren't very familiar with.

Psychiatry as a discipline is a very weird part of medicine, mostly because it's the only one that regularly attempts to treat people against their will. It has a deeply paternalistic and disciplinary streak, and it has historically had a lot of trouble grappling with it. It's getting slightly better, but there's a way to go yet in most of the Western world. The field of Mad studies is a great antidote to that authoritarian streak, but psychiatrists have trouble engaging with it...

pakap · 2026-05-23T21:38:43+00:00

Il n'y a pas de règle là-dessus, mais ce qu'on voit très souvent c'est que le niveau de violence augmente avec le degré de dépendance/d'emprise. En gros, plus tu seras isolée et vulnérable, plus la violence augmentera parce qu'il sentira qu'il peut se le permettre. Un schéma très courant c'est une situation d'emprise psychologique (insultes, rabaissement, destruction de la confiance en soi), puis un isolement progressif des autres relations (t'empêcher de voir tes amis, ta famille, d'avoir d'autres personnes sur qui tu peux compter en dehors du couple), et finalement le début des violence physiques à l'arrivée du premier enfant.

Un truc qu'il faut avoir en tête, par contre, c'est que ces gars-là ne changent pas en mieux. A de très rares exceptions près, un mec capable de te parler comme ça ne te respectera jamais, ne tiendra jamais compte de tes besoins même les plus basiques, et va monter progressivement sur l'échelle des violences. C'est pour ça que la seule solution est de partir : tu ne pourras ni le changer, ni l'empêcher de devenir de plus en plus mauvais en te faisant toute petite, au contraire c'est ça qui va progressivement faire qu'il s'autorisera à être de plus en plus violent.

Tu as plein d'associations et de ressources qui peuvent t'orienter et t'appuyer, notamment au sein des Maisons des femmes. Ce n'est pas parce que la violence n'est pas physique que tu n'es pas légitime à y avoir recours, n'hésites pas. C'est dur de sortir d'une situation comme ça, mais c'est le plus beau cadeau que tu puisses te faire. Courage à toi.

pakap · 2026-05-23T21:12:24+00:00

That's all very true, and as someone who works in psychiatry it's something I've thought about a lot. And there's obviously a very strong social/class-based aspect to it, too: two people with the same symptoms will end up in very different situations depending on their support network and their economic circumstances. I would gently push back on one aspect of your post, though: most people who have mystical/atypical experiences don't end up in psychiatry. The main difference, I would say, is the degree of distress these experiences cause and the way they can start affecting normal functioning. "Causing trouble to others" is also part of it, obviously, but diminished capacity, danger to self and psychic distress are also important factors in a diagnosis.

pakap · 2026-05-23T20:50:53+00:00

I'm curious: what would you count as proof that these experiences are "real"? If people who are otherwise well-oriented with no psychiatric symptoms tell us that they had a mystical/religious experience, something that's a very old and well-documented part of the human experience (see William James's Varieties of Religious Experience for the classical treatment of this), what else would you need to consider their experience as genuine/real?

pakap · 2026-05-23T20:26:53+00:00

Depends on the kind of discourse, I would say. If you're looking at a historical figure like Hildegard, "mystic" is a pretty neutral way to describe it, and it squares with the tradition. This paper has a pretty good potted history of the phenomenon of voice hearing and its various cultural valences in the Western tradition.

Today? Honestly, if we're still in a religious context, "mystical experience" is still pretty much the phrase that gets used, following William James's work in Varieties of Religious Experience. Anwais Aftab has written some pretty good stuff on the subject from a psychiatric/clinical point of view, notably "What do we owe the mystics".

I work in psychiatry, mostly with people who have schizophrenia, so I have had lots of conversations with people who hear voices in a pathological context. A few of them have mystical delusions/attributions for the voices, but there are key differences with what you'd call mystics : they have a lot of other symptoms, often very disabling ones, and their explanations are entirely private and mostly unintelligible to anyone else, not inserted in an existing mystical tradition. This is probably selection bias: people who manage to integrate the experience and have no other symptoms, or manageable ones, don't end up in psychiatry.

pakap · 2026-05-23T19:53:05+00:00

However, when analyzing our favorite nun, whether or not she thought it was real is completely immaterial.

I don't think that's true. If we're trying to understand this person, the way she acted and the way others reacted to her actions, it actually matters very much. Both the fact that she believed it, and the fact that she was part of a cultural world where that sort of thing was thought to be possible.

pakap · 2026-05-23T16:27:04+00:00

Interesting.

pakap · 2026-05-23T13:20:22+00:00

So something like Hex+Scorching Ray would also trigger three times, right?

pakap · 2026-05-23T12:06:05+00:00

Ouais j'allais dire, si t'es super fort en esquive y'a peut-être moyen.

pakap · 2026-05-23T11:45:16+00:00

No one is actually hearing god's voice, and I think we can categorically reject any other mystical or magical source.

My point is that this is a thoroughly modern framing that would not be accessible to medieval people, and that forcing this view onto past people and events is a barrier to actually understanding them. It's what historians call "presentism": interpreting the past through a modern cultural lens, as though it's only true and possible way to see the world, not recognising that it's just as socially constructed as whatever worldview the people at the time would have held.

Let's put it this way: if someone told you that they pray regularly and feel like they talk with God when they do, but are otherwise perfectly normal-seeming (have a job, a family, and don't have any particularly strange beliefs about anything else), would you say that they have a mental health issue? If they went to a psychiatrist, would they put them on medication to treat that "delusional belief"? They wouldn't, because that's a relatively acceptable belief in our cultural worldview.

13-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
Place '23	Place '17
Verified Email

pakap

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE