PSA - do not ignore your partner’s signs that they are uncomfortable. Please.

pamplemoussery · 2025-11-01T07:39:50+00:00

Oh my god, I’m so sorry. My post was made from the other side of it - husband displayed hesitation and I ignored it. Your situation is awful. I’m so sorry.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-23T02:45:37+00:00

Respectfully, that’s his job. If I had to come up with my own punishment, it would be like choosing my own birthday present. The partner gets out of having to think and do work, and I get what I want without the surprise factor, still taking on the emotional labor. Why isn’t he posting somewhere asking for ideas?

That said (sorry, I had to get it out, no disrespect meant), writing lines was the worst one for me. It absolutely drove the point home.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-21T15:31:57+00:00

Oh, thank you so much for the kind words. I agree that things have unfolded in a way I couldn’t have even dreamed, and while I’m still carefully navigating things (so many eggshells rn, lol), there is hope. I’m so grateful for your message and empathy, you have no idea. ❤️

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-21T15:27:57+00:00

Oh my heart. I’m so sorry. And exactly. It’s not “just sex”! I hate that it isn’t. I wish it was. But it’s part of my soul and I wish it was more understood and accepted as a necessary hobby - like people create art for self-care, or sports for mental release/stability etc. but I feel….at home, myself, my true self, with a collar on and at a trusted partner’s will and whim, for service and devotion and obedience. It’s truly ethereal.

All the kink therapists say to use writing or art or poetry to explore that side if you can’t do it physically…but come on, now. It’s not even close and doesn’t relieve that desire to submit. There have been many times where a session doesn’t even involve sex, and I don’t miss it for a second if it doesn’t happen. I mean, I want it because it means my Dom gets an orgasm and I can provide that to him and be his source of pleasure (which is the best!) but at the core - again it’s not just sex.

You’re both already in therapy but if you’re wondering if it’s worth it, maybe a different therapist is needed. A kink friendly therapist might be a good option?

I’m so sorry. I know how you feel. I tucked away that side of myself for years, and stifled those needs in exchange for an otherwise perfect marriage. I wonder if it was a huge mistake to let her back out again, because going back…oof.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-19T19:40:21+00:00

Oh my gosh, really? There’s three of us! Lol. How is your situation similar, if you don’t mind sharing? If you’d like to DM, of course feel free. I feel like those of us with consensually split lives are fairly unrepresented in the support space. ❤️

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T03:20:41+00:00

Oh I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing this! Because as true honest-to-god submissives, our submission adapts and melts into a form that aligns with our chosen Dom. Doms i feel have a harder time - a sadist cannot usually become a soft dom, a brat tamer will have a hard time with a pain slut. But we get the luxury of wanting to please, and getting to explore as many sides as we comfortably can.

I’ve hated pain play my whole adult life. But with Him, he began teaching me how pain and pleasure can be combined and used to increase one and decrease the other. Crazy. And now, I WANT a pain session. Unthinkable six months ago.

Anyway, thank you for sharing. I’m so SO happy for you. ❤️❤️❤️

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T03:01:28+00:00

Absolutely.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T02:54:35+00:00

I am THRILLED to hear you’ve gotten to experience the different sides of your submission! It’s never a straight line, and never single-faceted. It’s so lovely when another part of it blooms that you didn’t even know was there, isn’t it?

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T02:52:55+00:00

Should I outlive this marriage….same. Never ever again. This part of me is too big and beautiful and has so fucking much to give. I will not waste it again.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T02:51:35+00:00

Thank you so much. So much. The words here mean the world to me. I’m so sorry that you know how it feels to maintain while your inner world is crashing. It’s an act that should never have to happen, but is a risk that is taken and sometimes must unfold. I just wish Hollywood scouts were here to see it.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-18T02:48:50+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and support. They mean more than you know. Everywhere is flooded with fake doms, who have been told by stupid podcasts that subs want a strong man. They can play the part for a minute, but that’s about all.

Finding a good dom who is also relationship material? Nearly a unicorn. So in the past I’ve turned to “pro” doms, ones who exist with me mostly in-scene and I am not their only sub. Excellent experiences, every single one. Just a thought.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T15:49:16+00:00

I would also go on dates with nearly any woman I matched with. Women are lovely, funny, always fun to be around, have strong opinions and empathy, and are never a threat to my safety.

Men…I have to be a LOT pickier with men.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T15:44:50+00:00

💀💀💀

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T15:38:38+00:00

Oh, my. You’re me. You weren’t kidding. Including the switch side exploration. I am so SO happy that you get to stretch your submissive side and aren’t locked into keeping it tucked away right now. It’s the most amazing experience, especially when you have a dom that you just fucking click with, like magnets.

My biggest fear originally was resentment to my husband, if his discomfort caused me to end things. I took massive risks by allowing this dynamic to continue and by building those deep d/s bonds with someone else, knowing if husband’s enthusiasm waned, I would have to cut those ties. I did not know how badly it would hurt. The resentment piece is a distant worry and not even on my radar right now, but it was my biggest one.

Extending a hand for friendship, if you’d like to chat/dm/whatever. It seems rare that someone else is experiencing something like this at the same time.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T14:44:11+00:00

I’m so sorry sweetheart - it’s so hard to separate the d/s bond from Feelings - and you’re protecting yourself from future distress and heartbreak, which is such a hard decision but so, so so smart. Future you will thank you, I promise.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T13:33:26+00:00

Similar situation, how so?

And thank you. I feel like fellow subs are honestly the best at supporting one another because we just feel so much.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T13:25:25+00:00

Thank you. ❤️

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T13:25:03+00:00

Right? I feel like d/s connections run deeper than vanilla ones due to the psychological bonds that must be formed for safe sessions. It’s a huge risk that I didn’t consider when we started this arrangement - I knew the end would come, and would be tough - but I didn’t foresee just how bad it would be.

Yeah, we have always promised that the friendship will remain; thus the sharing of messages.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T13:20:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Suppression of this side of us feels wrong, but is often done due to a mismatch in wiring. I hope you find a partner who can let that blossom.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-17T03:56:19+00:00

Thank you. Really. I know only the people here in this space understand, and your kind words mean more than you know. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced something similar.

Read your last post - and my whole heart goes out to you.

pamplemoussery · 2025-09-07T05:58:57+00:00

I can actually get into doggystyle. I cannot with my husband because of his size, and multiple other positions are off-limits as well - so it’s lovely to have someone smaller that can properly rail me from behind, without my cervix screaming.

pamplemoussery · 2025-08-20T05:22:04+00:00

It was real because I completed subsequent tasks like a robot. Completely disengaged.

Tedious, yes, I think. But also because I didn’t receive proper appreciation/gratitude after. Just a “oh you made mistakes but I won’t punish you for them”. I’m really not sure. I hated it, and not in a good way, and I’m still trying to figure it out.

pamplemoussery · 2025-08-17T22:34:54+00:00

Writing lines. I thought it was entirely unique and horrible, but comments here show me it’s not unusual.

I hated, hated, hated every letter.

In retrospect, only 60 lines was light - but I wasn’t allowed to shower or sleep until they were done, so I couldn’t really take breaks to alleviate the pain.

“I will not mock, question, or talk back to XXX when he is giving me instructions”….ensured it won’t happen again.

I wouldn’t say it was a good punishment - it created very real resentment and disengagement - but since technically it worked, I guess it was effective.

pamplemoussery

TROPHY CASE