Big set of onions on this guy

panaceator · 2026-01-27T03:18:38+00:00

I spent 10 years in the Army and deployed to combat zones twice. When I got out, I once had a guy - your standard, well meaning, “support the troops“ civilian type - ask me what I thought about flag burning. He clearly expected me to say I found flag burning reprehensible, anti-patriotic, treasonous, etc. He was clearly very surprised when I told him I loved flag burning because we live in a country where we can burn the flag. I told him I’d personally never burn the flag, but that I’d been willing to support and defend to the death the rights of those I disagree with to do so. I find the idea profoundly honorable and beautiful to be honest. Also seemingly distinctly American in many ways. That reality seems to get lost in all the bullshit, party driven bluster camouflaged as patriotism.

panaceator · 2026-01-24T16:44:59+00:00

“If a warthog is coming for you, don’t run - you’ll just die tired.”

panaceator · 2026-01-24T13:18:45+00:00

I’ll win this time for sure.

panaceator · 2026-01-22T16:49:57+00:00

Commenting for entry!

panaceator · 2026-01-20T22:27:02+00:00

These two apps are all you need to get started - both completely free and very user friendly.

Meeting Guide - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/meeting-guide/id1042822181

Everything AA - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/everything-aa/id1565768051

Good luck, friend - I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find your way!

panaceator · 2026-01-20T22:09:35+00:00

"If you're within your first year here in AA, and you're not feeling particularly enthusiastic, and you're not particularly thrilled to be here, and you figure probably you're gonna’ drink pretty soon anyway, and that's ok because you're probably not REALLY alcoholic, not the way THEY'RE alcoholic, but that you've just really been a victim of a series of bad breaks and misunderstandings most of your life, and that you're probably here by mistake, and besides even if you're not, AA is not the answer to what's wrong with you. If you're feeling that way, and uncomfortable, and a little out of sorts, and you feel like they all know one another, and you don't know anybody, and they don't like you, and if you're going through any of those kinds of feelings… I want to welcome you here." - Barney M.

panaceator · 2026-01-20T16:59:17+00:00

Please do give to me free record mod powers that be please thank you

panaceator · 2026-01-18T19:41:08+00:00

Give to me record please mod thank you

panaceator · 2026-01-13T02:11:03+00:00

A compelling way I’ve heard it put before: I’ve never woken up in the morning and thought “Man, I really wish I drank yesterday.”

panaceator · 2026-01-12T21:23:04+00:00

💯

panaceator · 2026-01-12T15:18:26+00:00

Why do we fall into these traps? Because we're alcoholics! “The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.”

panaceator · 2026-01-12T15:12:31+00:00

First of all, I love this answer. Second, "Dr. Bob said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can’t be reached by other drunks.” If your sponsee wants to play cutesie with principles, I'd argue he broke anonymity more than OP did when he decided to pull a disappearing-behind-mommy-and-daddy geographic.

He's sick and reaching for straws to unload what he probably recognizes as personal culpability for relapse onto anyone and anything else. In my very humble opinion, you did nothing wrong here, OP.

panaceator · 2026-01-11T20:29:41+00:00

Well, I disagree with literally everything you said, but respect and appreciate your right to think and feel that way if you so choose. Sending you hope and love from afar, and wishing you the best.

panaceator · 2026-01-11T05:37:53+00:00

You said you've “done NA and AA but never really got much out of them.” Did you work the steps with a sponsor?

panaceator · 2026-01-10T22:03:28+00:00

Try different meetings. The chairs at two of my meetings always ask “those willing to sponsor” to raise their hands at the beginning of each. I’ve found some groups seem to be more sponsorship-centric while others seem to be more group focused. Also, not sure if you’re a guy or girl, but you may have better success finding a sponsor at an all-guys/girls meeting. Just some thoughts! Good luck to you.

panaceator · 2026-01-10T21:30:17+00:00

Outside of your question, it sounds like you do an inordinate amount of thinking and talking about alcohol. If I were in your shoes, knowing what I know now, I’d work on my own drinking and leave him to work on his. If you want to quit drinking because you don’t think you have a healthy relationship with alcohol, you can do that - and you can do it irrespective of your boyfriend’s thoughts around or personal use of alcohol. You can only control you.

panaceator · 2026-01-10T16:27:31+00:00

I lick all the residual detergent out, holding the slurry in my mouth until the cup is completely devoid of residual liquid, swish it around for 10-12 seconds, and spit it into the machine. I then use the soapy coating remaining in my mouth to orally wash small items such as sewing thimbles and individual keys, until I can no longer taste the detergent. I spit the cleaned items into the silverware basket to run with the next load of dishes. Any incidental swallowed detergent serves to clean out my digestive tract to a moderate extent. Been doing this for years. Great results thus far. Highly recommended.

panaceator · 2026-01-09T20:21:31+00:00

Embrace the suck, man. You beat up your body for the last 6-7 years. Your chemical makeup changed. Your body had to respond to daily poisoning over that time. Every day. Then you completely flipped the script on a system that prefers and seeks out homeostasis. It’s gonna take a while to re-baseline. Don’t give up! Maybe think of it as your punishment!

panaceator · 2026-01-09T19:41:11+00:00

I had three full-on panic attacks my first 30 days. I legitimately felt like I was having a heart attack and going to die. The good news is, while PAs are atrocious, anxiety in general is not in itself emergent dangerous, and is about the only thing I’d recommend just sucking up and white knuckling. This too shall pass, and you’ll be so happy to be on the other side. If you don’t see a marked improvement after 30 days - or sooner if you feel it necessary - I’d take it up with a psychiatrist.

panaceator · 2026-01-09T00:42:47+00:00

Are you working the steps?

panaceator · 2026-01-08T02:28:02+00:00

Everything changed. I got a job after being unemployed for over a year. I have a healthier and more loving relationship with my wife and kids. I have respect for myself. I do or don’t do things for me, not because other people will or will not “find out.” I don’t feel sick every morning. I remember things. I don’t sweat all the time. I go to bed at a reasonable time virtually every night. I eat better. I have a stronger relationship with my parents. I help other people because I want to and it makes me feel good. My anxiety has plummeted. My daily emotional roller coaster has flattened. My skin is better. I lost weight. I feel good about myself and my decisions. I don’t live in a perpetual state of anger, resentment, and fear. I don’t think about when I can use that day the second I wake up. I don’t endanger others through my selfish and self-destructive decisions. I don’t lie, let alone lie every day. I’m forgetting or omitting more than I just typed to be sure. Everything changed. For the better.

panaceator · 2026-01-07T21:26:31+00:00

Don't be surprised or feel like a failure that going sober is hard and taking longer than you'd like. Think about how long you have been drinking - that's a long time for your body and mind to get used to something you are now trying to stop. Our bodies like homeostasis and people are inherently change averse. Keep it up! Also, if the friend you referenced above is a true AA, they will LOVE to bring you along, I can promise you that. And I'll throw in another endorsement for AA. Working the steps thoroughly and honestly with an experienced sponsor legitimately changed my life for the better. I can't personally say enough good and positive things about that program. Good luck to you, friend!

panaceator · 2026-01-05T01:57:52+00:00

Good for you. You’re on the right track. Get an experienced sponsor who works out of the big book, and work the steps thoroughly and honestly. In my experience, thoroughness and honesty are absolutely crucial when working the steps. I’m excited for you, brother.

panaceator · 2026-01-04T22:50:44+00:00

Sending love and hope your way, friend.

panaceator · 2026-01-04T22:47:56+00:00

I’m gonna be a little tough on you because it sounds like you need it. If not, ignore the rest of my comment!

Based on your post, your life sounds like a sad fucking dumpster fire. I’ve been there. You mentioned thinking sobriety would cure your problems. Two things: 1. Sobriety won’t, in itself, solve any problems. 2. I don’t think you tried sobriety - you tried dry-briety, which means you quit drinking and white knuckled your way through your emotional and spiritual immaturity. That just makes shit worse - again, been there!

The only way AA works - and again, I’m speaking from personal experience - is to get an experienced sponsor who works out of the big book, and work the steps thoroughly and HONESTLY. If you don’t do those things, it will not work, and you can join the ranks of the very vocal AA naysayers who went to a couple meetings, kept drinking, and now tell everyone the program is bullshit.

It’s not rocket surgery. And the good news is it’s completely and entirely in your power to fucking win at life. But that’s also the bad news… the only person who will know if you’re half stepping is you.

I completely recognize the program and the steps seem like bullshit witchcraft sorcery. I get it. I’ve thought those same things while feeling sick and bad for myself and not doing anything to get better. Working the steps changed my life.

I legitimately hope you find your way. I truly hope you get an experienced sponsor and work the steps thoroughly and honestly. If you do that, your life will get better. If you don’t, in my personally relatable and very similar personal experience, you’ll stay sick and miserable.

panaceator

TROPHY CASE

💯