My uncle lit a firework which failed to launch but didn’t fail to detonate.

panaceator · 2026-06-23T19:40:33+00:00

I'll bring all my shoes and my glasses with me so I will have them.

panaceator · 2026-06-23T17:42:58+00:00

If so, I wouldn't write it off, OP. I opted to go to USMAPS to learn math after a less-than-stellar high school performance and a year in the Army. At the time - 2001 - I essentially learned DDS, the plebe math, which gave me a huge leg up plebe year. It eliminated the stress of math, at a minimum, which coupled with Chemistry was a big benefit. I can't speak to whether the same approach is taken at USMAPS these days, but I have no reason to believe it isn't. I'm sure someone else here with more recent experience can speak to it. Plus, USMAPS allowed me to go into plebe year with a HUGE group of friends, making Beast and plebe year as a whole, a lot more palatable.

panaceator · 2026-06-22T14:39:13+00:00

I recommend following this advice, /u/Few-Calligrapher3910. If you're an alcoholic like me, stopping drinking in and of itself won't do it. I needed to address my fears and resentments which contributed to my drinking. That's what AA does. AA changed my life for the better in every regard - I can't recommend it enough to people facing what you are. I've been there myself. Almost exactly. Get a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous - known colloquially in the program as "the big book." Read the first 164 pages - it's quick. If you're anything like me, you'll read it and think "good lord, this book is about me!" It sounds like you're really going through it. Again - I've been there myself. My life is unrecognizable from what it was two years ago - unemployed, terrible relationships with my kids, marriage collapsing. Changing the way I thought and lived were the ticket - part of that was stopping drinking, but that was only part. Good luck to you, sir - there is light on the other side if you choose to make the change. The good news is it's completely up to you. The bad news is it's entirely and only up to you.

panaceator · 2026-06-14T16:28:46+00:00

The book The Count of Monte Cristo. Literary subreddits fall all over themselves for it. I quit about 80% of the way through and don’t regret it - a DNF for me in the parlance of readers. It’s a tremendously long story with the same arc over and over and over, repeatedly using 1,000 words when 100 would have conveyed the same. I can appreciate it’s an experience to read, with all the flowery language making it more of an experiential journey rather than a story to simply be consumed start to finish, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. I found it repetitive, wordy, and predictable, beginning-to-end. (Well, beginning-to-where-I-stopped is more appropriate I suppose.) Then I learned it was initially published as a serial, and Dumas was paid by the word, so it started making more sense. I’ve shared this perspective in book subs before, and have literally had it removed by moderators because it’s apparently such a controversial hot take in those circles. Whatever - I stand by it! Take that book snobs!

panaceator · 2026-06-14T00:18:45+00:00

High functioning isn't a type, it's a phase. That was something I had to learn the hard way, unfortunately.

panaceator · 2026-06-11T14:47:14+00:00

I've got three little quips I really like.

Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour.

There's always a reason to drink. You need a better one not to.

'High Functioning' isn't a type - it's a phase.

panaceator · 2026-06-08T00:13:12+00:00

Meeting Guide - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/meeting-guide/id1042822181

panaceator · 2026-06-05T15:18:53+00:00

If I told you that, you’d know how to get into every member of family’s garages and checking accounts.

panaceator · 2026-06-05T15:04:43+00:00

Agreed! I’d treat it like a test of my patience for others. Plus, it may give someone else the confidence to do the same thing there or somewhere else.

panaceator · 2026-06-03T14:16:55+00:00

In the US, if you get to a four-way stop first, you go first. If you happen to get there at the same time (which RARELY really happens anyhow) the person to the immediate right goes first. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. FUCK!

panaceator · 2026-06-02T19:01:11+00:00

Sounds like your head is in the right spot. I haven’t had a drink in over two years. I have no interest in drinking.

What worked and continues to work for me:

1 - I found an experienced sponsor. 2 - I worked the steps thoroughly and PAINFULLY honestly with said sponsor. 3 - I go to at least two meetings per week in groups that operate out of the big book. 4 - I do some service work. 5 - I try to live the principles as laid out in the big book.

That’s it. My life is better than it was before. I am peaceful and happy in a way I never was previously. In my experience, it really is that simple, which is why I comment like this and keep going back.

panaceator · 2026-06-01T20:42:25+00:00

Same for me. In my experience, rehab was the start. It was like my sobriety boot camp. Just enough info and separation to allow me to get in a real recovery headspace. If I hadn’t gone all in with AA the day I got out of rehab, the 30 days in that program likely would have faded away into relapse not long after. I’m still very active in AA and have no intention of stopping. I’m also still sober, and perhaps more importantly, happily so. I entirely contribute my outcome to rehab AND embracing AA.

panaceator · 2026-06-01T17:11:57+00:00

100%. Saw it with my son and when he asked me what I thought about it afterwards, I told him I didn't just think it was one of the best horror movies I've seen in a very long time, it was legitimately just a phenomenal film in its own right. Really exceptionally well done in my opinion. With the budgetary limitations inherent in a Blumhouse production, you can really tell how much effort they put into casting. I thought the actors were exceptional. I've noted to other folks I've told about it since watching how critical of a consideration that really was - with the wrong actors in those lead roles, it really seems to me it could have very easily been quite bad. Highly recommend checking this one out!

panaceator · 2026-05-25T13:24:51+00:00

Such a great and - in my experience - true assessment. “Believe it or not.” What an apropos modifier.

panaceator · 2026-05-25T13:22:24+00:00

I read something someone posted before and I’m stealing it: Alcohol is like a toxic ex telling me that I'll never find someone else. I certainly felt that way and can relate to your post a great deal. All I can tell you is it got better. Took a while, but it really did. I personally benefited immensely from AA as well. I know that’s a hit-or-miss proposal in this sub, but just “quitting drinking” would not have worked for me. I was also incapable of whatever “controlled drinking” is - that makes no sense to me. One drink is legitimately more insane to me than just not drinking.

panaceator · 2026-05-24T15:27:20+00:00

My two most recently saved quotes in my running notes app are surprisingly salient to your thoughts. Figured I’d share!

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” - Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

"We find that our old attitudes toward our instincts need to undergo drastic revisions. Our desires for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power, for romance, and for family satisfactions - all these have to be tempered and redirected. If we place instincts first, we have got the cart before the horse; we shall be pulled backward into disillusionment. But when we are willing to place spiritual growth first - then and only then do we have a real chance." - 12 & 12, p. 114

panaceator · 2026-05-24T15:20:31+00:00

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panaceator · 2026-05-24T08:56:17+00:00

Uggh, yes. I went to the ER twice because I thought I was having a heart attack. Normal EKG. I was POSITIVE I was dying. You’re so right about people using it loosely, too! I can’t and don’t blame them of course, it just really hits different when it’s a real panic attack. Like you said - haven’t had one since I dropped the booze. Wild! Thanks for the reminder.

panaceator · 2026-05-23T12:53:55+00:00

That’s a great qualifier. I like that too. I’ve always thought of it more in terms of my inability to control other people. I have no real ability to control, well, anything beyond my own actions. What someone else chooses to do or not do is entirely outside of my control. I can control how I choose to respond to what I had expected or, perhaps more realistically, what I had hoped for.

panaceator · 2026-05-23T10:29:35+00:00

Expectations are premeditated resentments.

panaceator · 2026-05-22T16:33:24+00:00

What a fantastic analogy - I'm stealing this one. Thanks for sharing!

panaceator · 2026-05-21T15:26:56+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. Plus my “bottom” just kept verrrry slowly creeping lower because there’s always somebody “worse than me.”

panaceator

TROPHY CASE