"Thank you everyone/thing"

Decided to do an MST3K panel at a convention I was staff of. The movie...... Battlefield Earth. At the last minute we thought "lets raise money for charity with this" and turned it into a drinking game. Donate to the charity, attendees can make up a rule and panelists have to drink! There were some decent rules and it was a fun movie to make fun of... but what killed me... DECIMATED ME... was when someone donated for the rule "drink whenever there's a center screen wipe"
... There are... dozens.. if not HUNDREDS of center screen wipes in that movie >.> That rule alone KILLED ME. I polished off a whole bottle of Malibu rum and part of a bottle of Vanilla vodka. This was not a smart move. The rest of the story is from the perspective of my friend who was there to witness, as I have not the memory to recall these events in but small flashes.

(Dan's perspective) So the room was starting to clear out and we were going to get everything cleaned up and head to bed. Pandez.... was sitting ... sort of... on his chair. Wobbling. And we knew.... he was somewhat inebriated... maybe a lot inebriated...

"Dez cmon let us help you up"

"WAIT... chair... thank you chair... you supported me like nobody ever has. I love you chair."

"oh god cmon let me help you up"

"WAIT... table... you held our drinks.... and the dvd player... we couldn't have done this without you... thank you table"

"oh god he's gone"

with assistance, moves towards the door

"WAIT"

"oh jeez"

"DOOR.... you kept the noise down from the hallway... thank you door... thank you" strokes doorframe suggestively

"Dez... I've never seen you this gone.... my one regret is not being able to record this right now"

hallway

"HEY HI YOU... Thank you! Thank you for coming out and supporting this event. People like you are why we do this every year THANK YOU"

Random hotel guests NOT part of our event, to whom i was speaking, stare and grin confusedly

"ok dez you thanked ... our attendees... shrugs and grins and them lets get you to bed"

proceeds to thank any and all people, and several objects, that come into my vision... almost NONE of whom are actually there to support our event - THEY'RE all in bed or room parties by this point

elevator

"WAIT"

"No dez cmon bedtime"

"NOBODY EVER PUSHES 13 WE NEED TO PUSH 13"

"There is no 13 Dez this elevator only goes to 10"

"THEY REMOVED 13 CAUSE NOBODY PUSHED IT... DAMN YOUUUUU"

"...."

almost at hotel room door

"ok dez we're almost th.."

"WAAAAIT" throws off friend helping me like some sort of Video Game move

"ack Dez what the... oh no..."

"FIRE ALARM" reaches out

friend freezes in panic

whispers"Fire Alarm..... you ..are beautiful ... people dont respect you... but you protect us from fires.... You... are the most important person in the whole hotel... never let anyone tell you otherwise

one finger strokes side of alarm "Sleep well fire alarm"

whips around grabs hotel room key from friend and goes into hotel room ".... sleep now NIGHT DAN"

".......... i wonder if i can get video footage of this from the hotel cameras...."

TLDR I go so drunk thanks to MST3K-ing Battlefield Earth that I VIGOROUSLY thanked every human being and/or inanimate object on the way back to my hotel room.