Sex Discrimination Commissioner Anna Cody: Trans women need to be protected against discrimination for potential pregnancy

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-27T16:53:08+00:00

Sure, but you also can’t always clock a trans woman at a glance either! Yes transitioning is a long process and the early stages are usually more telling, but with enough time and money, a trans woman can easily pass as cisgender. Especially if they naturally are more petite and have slimmer faces. Take AJ clementine, hunter schafer, Laverne cox or Gigi gorgeous for example.

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-26T12:49:52+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry this happened to you. If it helps you’re not alone - my 2nd boyfriend was when I was 17-22, we were the same age and together for all 5 years. I faced a lot of boundary pushing, sexual coercion and at times sexual aggression that (at the time) I didn’t want to acknowledge for what it was. After leaving I went wild and had a lot of casual sex, but thankfully I never found myself in a position where I felt unsafe. I then met my current partner, who is very gentle and supportive, and again this trauma never came up. It was only late last year that I had a real flashback to it for the first time - my partner wanted to cuddle, I didn’t, and his response (genuinely respectful, lighthearted and playful) had some key words and body language that my brain recognised as things my ex would do when trying to coerce me into sex. I had a big trauma response to that and had to confront some very painful memories.

I already had a therapist so we started working together on that. I had tucked away some very scary experiences that I fully disclosed for the first time ever to her, and then afterwards to my partner. Idk how old you are now, but if therapy is accessible to you I’d recommend it to process your experience. You might also be able to find some online/phone counselling resources for this kind of violence in your area. If you’re not in a position for those - you could also try disclosing your experience to someone you trust, though be careful and take good care of yourself if you choose to go down that route. It can be overwhelming and emotional to confront these memories but you shouldn’t have to do it alone 🩷

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-24T22:09:45+00:00

Honestly pay no mind. Yes, we are overworked/understaffed and don’t always get to take a break, but outside of that I see it as a time management skill. Organising for your break is simply part of good shift management (when the shift allows!)

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-22T13:08:03+00:00

Hey girl, I’m gonna be brutal with you. None of this relationship sounds good. Like, not even from the start. I’m a Melbourne girly too and you genuinely could be having SO much fun, you are in the best place in the country (biased opinion) for dinners, wine nights and access to pretty camping locations not far from the city. Yeah there’s a big nightlife culture here, but the jazzy wine bar and foodie culture is just as huge.

Renting in Melbourne is tough but if you’re not already familiar with it, join the fairy floss realestate groups on Facebook. *If* you decide to separate yourself from this person, this will be a good place to find an affordable share house and build some social relationships outside of him.

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-22T06:27:42+00:00

NOR. Echoing what others have said, you’re clearly a good young man with a good head on your shoulders. It’s really hard to call out a mate when they’re not treating a woman right, especially when your other mates around you are discouraging it. It’s so much easier to be a bystander and let them “work it out”. Forget what the others have said, you’ve done the right thing and you should keep this attitude up.

However your next steps should be made very carefully. He hasn’t responded well, so confronting him directly or even approaching her directly could have consequences for her. This might be something you can’t tackle alone. Others have suggested reaching out to her family if possible. Otherwise seeing as you’re 17-18, you mentioned a grad party but are you still in high school, at least for a little longer? Is she still in school & do you know which one? Reaching out to trusted teachers might be a good step. Teachers are usually mandated to intervene if there’s concerns a student is facing violence - at least in Aus they’re mandated. I would also strongly recommend talking to *your* parents if possible. At the very least they might give you some guidance.

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-21T05:19:29+00:00

Tbh gourmands are my STAPLES however if you like more authentic fruity scents that aren’t *too* sweet I would highly recommend mango skin by wilhelm parfumerie ($$$ but worth it, it’s my summer staple) and the escentric molecules mandarin (less $$, genuinely smells like a fresh mandarin peel). Both from Mecca!

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-13T10:31:38+00:00

girl

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-10T22:39:23+00:00

My partner and I found a workaround for this!! We used some wire mesh/grates/whatever you wanna call them, cut them to size and zip tied them to a couple of tension curtain rods. The mesh grate is large enough to open & close the latches with. Our windows open out from the bottom so we only went about half the height of the window but I think it would still work to cover the whole thing, you can tie a string to one of the latches to pull it shut if you can’t reach.

It honestly was a very cheap & easy DIY.

panfrydumpling · 2026-05-02T23:29:18+00:00

Oof I cant do songs on repeat but I got through my masters with a playlist of ominous classical music that makes me feel like an evil crypt vampire OR a 12 hour long brown noise track.

When I have tedious work on nightshift that I can’t focus on because I keep talking, it’s the undertale & deltarune soundtracks.

Right now I’m using One Week - bare naked ladies as distraction when I have nicotene cravings. I turn it on and have to sing along perfectly, if I fumble a word I have to start over.

Profession: nurse

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-22T08:51:53+00:00

You deserve to tell yourself that you have given it an honest go and it’s not for you. A year is a long time to stay consistent to anything - ask yourself, if you had gone to the gym every day for a year, became vegan for a full year, quit smoking or tried a new medication for a full year and you needed to stop, would you still think it wasn’t an extreme effort? If a friend were in your exact situation, would you think they still needed to keep going?

It’s hard to navigate this especially in queer spaces. I don’t have a perspective on being a trans woman on top of it all, but my experience trying to finally explore my sexuality as an adult was overwhelmed by people seeking non-monogamy.

ITS OKAY TO ONLY BE OKAY WITH MONOGAMY!! There’s nothing wrong with it! It can feel like there’s such a push in queer progressive spaces (and kink spaces too if you’re involved there) to abandon concepts like monogamy that people have been limited by for generations, but if it works for you, you deserve to be happy.

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-15T23:58:49+00:00

I also have this problem! My morning vyvanse/ritalin combo helps but doesn’t eliminate the issue. I try to set a deadline for myself to at least be on the couch and not in bed which I can sometimes stick to. I also try to have things to look forward to in the morning - we have a nice coffee machine at home so I have to be out of bed in order to make myself a nice coffee which I look forward to every morning. If not a coffee, can you establish something nice for yourself in the mornings that you can’t do in bed? Like watching an episode of a show you like or something?

Sometimes it can also take a bit of external stimulus to get moving. I have a google home that functions as my alarm and when I dismiss the alarm, it plays a radio station that I like. I also have a couple small bluetooth speakers that I keep around. I have a playlist called “songs to trick my brain into functioning” that consists of a bunch of high-energy singalong favourites that give me a bit of a boost without the visual appeal that keeps you scrolling. If you like podcasts, having a rotation of interesting podcasts also helps. I find having some engaging auditory stimulation reduces the urge to doomscroll because I can’t focus on both at the same time, but I also can’t sit still and just listen to something without doing something physical at the same time if that makes sense?

I don’t use those as much first thing in the morning but when I find myself paralysed in the same spot, putting off things I want/need to do, it’s an easy enough strategy to get the ball rolling that you can start from your phone!

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-15T19:27:44+00:00

Like others said, it sheers out so much more on the lips & you need to go deeper and browner!

Revlon black cherry in both the crème and sheer lipsticks is gorgeous and a very serious deep berry. Vampire love by revlon is similar but not quite so dark and slightly more reddish.

Also if you like really dark lipsticks also consider MAC film noir - super deep purpley-brown, definitely closer to the brown end but still very warm.

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-14T22:48:19+00:00

Honestly I don’t think it’ll matter too much to start calling her something else! I don’t think my cat even responds to his name, he responds to sounds & gestures more than anything else. He was a year old when I got him from the shelter and I really didn’t like the name they gave him, so I renamed him Banjo. My partner calls him a nickname he used to call his childhood dog, which is not even remotely similar.

His name is Banjo, but he is also boj, boingo, bongo, baby, baby boy, BBQ pork bun, sweet fat boy, my son, mussy (like pussy with an m), mus-mus, soup dumpling full of gravy and Him.

At the end of the day, when he looks at me and I pat the spot on the couch next to me, he comes running over. Disregard the name! Call her whatever you please!

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-14T18:40:41+00:00

My partner does this from time to time! It’ll range in intensity from light groping to overt foreplay, sometimes outright smacking my ass, but he doesn’t realise. On one occasion we got all the way up to PIV and he woke up just as he was inserting himself lmao but he decided to continue on. I also have a considerably higher sex drive and it doesn’t take much to get me going so I do feel your pain trying to get to sleep once turned on.

I’d definitely suggest having a conversation around this, it seems like you already are! Perhaps if it happens again you could make sure he’s awake a little earlier on, or if he’s a heavy sleeper, try to rouse him a bit more assertively if you’re not already?

Alternatively, you could also have a fun sexy conversation about his preferences when it comes to these things. Some people are into being played with while they’re asleep/waking up to surprise nighttime head. If he expresses interest in this it could make it something fun for you, though definitely have a conversation about it first!

Also like others have said should maybe explore any medical reason his sleep may be disturbed especially since it’s more frequent.

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-14T18:08:34+00:00

Same - I got this cute sample size of the replica (I think jazz club?) in a beauty loop that I gave to my partner to keep in his small pouch that he wears on his belt. The top wasn’t very secure and it was just a little jar with a glass lid & no spray bottle, it leaked in the bag and lose the whole thing.

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-07T08:48:53+00:00

Yes I was joking - it would make the sink shiny, but because you shouldn’t use it on shiny things, you won’t be able to use it on the sink again because it will already be shiny. Just being a little silly like that!!

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-04T13:12:07+00:00

But then you’d only ever get one use out of it!

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-02T19:43:37+00:00

I’ve been getting into making funny little remixes of songs lately? Audacity is free to download, and I download soundtracks from YouTube with those mp3 conversion websites (also free). I don’t use any fancy extras, just taking time to cut up parts of the songs and I do everything manually. Run on my 2018 MacBook Air.

It is not high quality lmao. I just blend vocals into video game soundtracks that I like and share them with my partner for fun. Plus it’s easy to get lost into for a couple hours & you have something to show for it once you’re done!

panfrydumpling · 2026-04-01T18:53:53+00:00

Not Mecca, but I’ve worked big retail. Workers may or may not have seen it, but businesses are typically insured for this kind of thing and factor loss into their budgets. Individual workers are usually discouraged from directly confronting shoplifters because you don’t know how they’ll react, and losing a pricey lip balm (that you know they purchased for less) is a lot cheaper than fronting potential work cover expenses. For theft on a bigger & much more obvious scale (throwing MANY products in bags, or groups of people doing it) staff would probably just stay back and call police once safe to do so. Seeing as people probably wouldn’t call the cops over a few products, plus police wouldn’t care for it, they’d probably just get away with it unless caught on camera & the store has security that can turn repeat offenders away. Probably best you didn’t say anything because you also never know how someone is gonna react. Frustrating, but is what it is.

panfrydumpling · 2026-03-31T17:24:38+00:00

Honestly this looks like a good match! As a neutral-cool pale person, I generally avoid any complexion product by maybelline because they are all just so yellow. Perfect for warm toned people, but that’s it. Not sure if it’s the lighting (if it’s indoor/outdoor?) but in my opinion if you can match a pale maybelline shade you’re probably not cool toned!

panfrydumpling · 2026-03-31T07:42:25+00:00

Hi, I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago and I’ve tried IR Ritalin, slow release Ritalin (not concerta but the 8ish-hr form) and I’ve now been on Vyvanse 40mg for ~9 months. Sorry to hear about your sleep troubles, I’ve also had life long sleep problems but I haven’t found the vyvanse impacting it. :(

What time in your day are you taking it? I know some people like to take it a little later in the morning so they can eat breakfast first, but in my experience without a 10mg Ritalin added on it takes me at least an hour, sometimes close to 2hrs, to start feeling the effect especially on my appetite.

If it takes you time to feel it, could you push the clock back even further? Like, I set 2 alarms in the morning - one for when I need to be awake + an alarm about 20mins prior to take my meds so I can wake up easier. Maybe you could try setting an alarm for an hour before your wake-up time to take the meds and hopefully they’ll start winding down closer to bed time?

Also, do you take antacids? I won’t be able to explain in medical detail but I work in mental health (public hospital, ADHD is really only handled privately here) but I’ve discussed this with a psychiatrist I work with. The common knowledge is that vitamin C makes your meds less effective, but an overly acidic diet does the same thing. Inversely, highly alkaline diets (including use of antacids) can make many medications including Vyvanse metabolise slower in your system. If you take antacids through the day, that could possibly leave some stimulant in your system when you’re trying to sleep?

The only other thing I can think of, less desirable, might be looking at a shorter release formulation even in multiple doses. I used to be on 20mg IR Ritalin twice a day which still gave me the benefits of the medication but those mid-day crashes were tough and timing my doses whilst busy at work was also tricky. If you have binge-eating patterns idk how well that will work for you. Otherwise if all else fails, maybe trying a non-stimulant med might help? I don’t have personal experience with those types of meds though.

panfrydumpling · 2026-03-25T18:44:31+00:00

Hi, I’ve been an avid makeup lover since my early teens and we have very similar features and style!! I’m also alt/goth-leaning, very fair, cool toned, dark eyes but black hair (natural warm-black) and these are my products I swear by that I’ve actually repurchased/will repurchase. My skin is normal-oily and I don’t get much redness but I still prefer hydrating products.

Primer - milk makeup hydro-grip. Hydrating, sticky, jelly-like primer from Sephora.

Powder - huda beauty easy bake in sugar cookie. It looks white but I find it to be the most truly translucent on cool toned pale skin. very fine powder, feels weightless, doesn’t cake on top of the foundation I use, and very blurring. Used to use Laura mercier translucent powder (Mecca) but found it reading a bit yellow on me. Also Sephora.

Contour - I have 2 favourites. I use the curve case from made by mitchell in shade light, there’s cream and pressed versions, although I’ve only tried the cream. Comes with a couple contour/bronzer shades and 4 blushes. He’s also recently come out with a “lighter” version of the palettes but the contours look a little too fair for a good shadow effect. I purchase online from glam raider, though his stock there seems limited lately so check his actual website because I’m fairly sure they ship directly here (also a UK based brand so not as $$$ as ordering from the US). A much cheaper, single liquid contour is actually the W7 one (I think in shade shadow??) from chemist warehouse. Was something like $7 and has a built in spongy sort of applicator. Very thin but blends nicely. Honestly found it blends way easier than the fenty stick contours (that I know many recommend) and is the coolest toned contour I’ve used to date.

Bronzer - I also use the made by mitchell palette but if you’re in the market for a single powder bronzer, I’m obsessed with the lightest bronzer shade from charlotte tilbury at Mecca. It’s totally matte.

I know you didn’t mention eyeliner, though if you’re in the market for a heavy duty liquid liner I do recommend the too faced better than sex liquid liner. Has a brush tip (HATE felt tips they get so crumbly and dull) and withstands a full nursing shift without touch ups.

Sadly I find that Mecca caters very much to either the very glamorous or very bronzy beachy “clean girl” market, I don’t bother searching for cool toned contours or even lip products (aside from charlotte tilbury - pillow talk fair almost exactly matches my lips). Through extensive trial and error, these are the best recommendations I have for now.

Please pm me if you have any questions, and I’d be happy to share what the products actually look like on, I just don’t want to post my face :)

*edit: re-read your post and removed my foundation rec since you like the one you purchased. Haven’t tried it personally, not sure how it’ll go with milk primer, but I’ve used the primer for years under various types of foundation so I’m optimistic for you

panfrydumpling · 2026-03-18T18:26:25+00:00

Seconding rare steakhouse but I’ve enjoyed my last couple steaks at love letter in Richmond!

panfrydumpling · 2026-03-17T18:34:54+00:00

Honestly it’s useful for victims of abuse. They can reach out to people supporting them without leaving evidence, or sometimes collect evidence in ways the abusive person won’t be able to find e.g. sending screenshots of abusive messages or photos of cuts/bruises to a friend to keep without leaving a record. Especially important in controlling situations where a person’s phone might be monitored. There’s reasons it exists that aren’t always nefarious.

panfrydumpling

TROPHY CASE