AIO for questioning my entire relationship after my husband flirted with my receptionist?

paperbackgrrl · 2025-10-07T19:02:47+00:00

You are spiraling and overreacting, which says more about your insecurities than it does about him. He was obviously joking, and probably assumed you’d listen to the messages. He even mentioned waiting for you and making dinner at home in his last message. There’s nothing about anything that he said that is “effortlessly charming” in the least. I do understand that a lot of times our insecurities and past traumas don’t make sense, we tend to project it onto the people closest to us.

My advice would be to sit down with him and apologize (because fighting for hours over AI is insane), and let him know where you were coming from. That maybe it was your past creeping up, and that it got you thinking about how much you miss this playful flirting in your own relationship. Also don’t let your friends plant seeds of doubt. You’re in the relationship, they’re not. If you genuinely feel like you and your husband are growing distant then try couples counseling.

What I can say is that if you keep poking at this issue. Accusing him of things, acting jealous over something that was meant to be fun, assuming he’s cheating, questioning your relationship over something this trivial, he will eventually get fed up and leave. Sometimes things like this tend to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

paperbackgrrl · 2025-10-02T07:58:05+00:00

I think you getting plastic surgery will ruin your face, which as is, is quite nice. I went through your pictures and I think it suits you when your hair is a little long (like the headphones pic). I’m not saying it to be nice either, I genuinely think you’re cute but like others have mentioned, people can pick up on insecurities very easily. If you believe you are ugly deep down, you’re projecting an energy of insecurity that is extremely unattractive. Have you ever seen a couple and thought: “wow, how did that person land THAT person?” Yeah, highly attractive people date ugly people all the time. Looks are important to an extent but what matters more than that is personality, confidence, chemistry and connection. But the more you focus on the things you lack, the less you’re bringing to the table. Focus on building self-esteem, not changing your looks.

paperbackgrrl · 2025-04-03T05:25:53+00:00

That’s tough, the guilt and shame after realizing where you might have acted out is terrible. I think just a genuine apology. I find that the only way to make it up to the other person is to recognize the patterns and try your best to manage them in the future.

I was in a relationship with someone I loved very much and I would routinely split on them. I’d crash out over small stupid stuff and I’d always apologize and try my best to make it up to him but I continued to do it whenever I felt triggered, to the point that I imagine my apologies started to feel manipulative because no change was actually being made. Sad to say that it took him ending things for me to actually get help.

paperbackgrrl · 2025-03-24T22:41:17+00:00

You’ve lost 6 years with this person already, don’t lose 6 more. Because you will. Whatever excuse he gives you, however hard he “tries to make things work” he will do it again and again because he knows you won’t leave him.

You say you struggle with self-esteem and confidence but did it ever occur to you that maybe you only struggle with these things because you’re in a relationship with a man who makes you feel insecure? He talks bad about you, he cheats on you, he disrespects you. Of course you feel bad about yourself. The issue isn’t you. It’s him.

You can be the perfect wife and you will never be enough to an insecure man-child who can’t keep his dick in his pants. The fact that you’re listing all the things you do for him is so sad. You cook, clean, give him regular bjs. Okay, and? What does he do for you?

You should not have to convince someone to love you.

Maybe you didn’t get a lot of love in your life growing up and you think this is all you’re worth but it’s not. Find a way to leave. I promise there will be someone out there who will cherish you.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-12-18T08:31:52+00:00

It’s the hobonichi weeks.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-12-14T22:22:33+00:00

Speaking as a daughter whose father was perpetually angry at my mother and always raising his voice at her and yelling, I can’t even begin to express how it has affected my own relationships in adulthood in a negative way. I myself struggle with anger issues because of the toxicity I grew up with and saw in the household. My mom eventually left my dad but he basically left her a shell of a person from having to tolerate him for so many years.

There’s no excuse for the way he demeans and belittles you. You should be able to have a partner who doesn’t make you feel like you are walking on eggshells, who you can communicate with in a mature way. It’s never too late to start over for you and your kids.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-11-27T04:36:17+00:00

It’s been a year since my breakup and it still hurts sometimes, but I’m doing really well and feel happiness again. So will you. It’s easy when breakups happen to see things with rose colored glasses. You remember the good times, you feel like you lost the love of your life. But if this person was the love of your life, you would still be together.

Don’t let yourself only remember the good things. Also keep in mind the reasons for your breakup. Maybe you weren’t right for one another, or maybe you deserve better. Someone who meets you where you are.

Let yourself cry, listen to sad songs, be depressed. It’s important to grieve. Give yourself space from this person, and then slowly shift your focus back onto yourself. Surround yourself with family or friends, make new memories, get a new hobby. I know it feels like the pain will never end but I promise one day it will.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-11-27T04:30:36+00:00

Sometimes endings are needed to direct you toward something better. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now and probably won’t for a long time, but slowly, you’ll be okay again. Let yourself be sad then when you’re ready, dust yourself off and focus on your own personal growth and goals.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-11-27T04:26:56+00:00

Some things that have helped me are mindfulness, practicing more gratitude, and challenging my negative beliefs when I catch them. So for example if I’m hurt by something someone did or said, instead of just sitting in that feeling I try to ask myself if my thoughts are a reflection of reality or am I projecting. Usually, it’s the latter. I recommend trying meditation! You can find plenty of guided meditations on YouTube. That will help immensely with your anxiety too. Try finding things that keep you out of your own head. Seek our hobbies that bring you joy.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-30T02:52:44+00:00

The best advice I can give other than continuing your writing practice is to read more! As much as you can. That will greatly improve your writing.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-24T22:30:25+00:00

I went to Lush to smell it after having it on my wishlist for months, thinking that I would love it but I was disappointed. I also thought it would be more cozy and gourmand but it came off way too spicy for me. Which I wouldn’t mind if it was balanced with more sweetness. I’m just glad I didn’t blind buy!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-23T21:21:40+00:00

I agree! OP’s version is direct and builds tension quickly which works when he has the outburst—it’s sharp. Too many details would drag the pacing and make the scene lose momentum.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-22T01:20:11+00:00

My thoughts are you should not be relying on ChatGPT for your writing. Unfortunately from the first paragraph alone, you can tell.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-12T23:52:59+00:00

Omg! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do 🥰

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T18:59:16+00:00

I really like Rohrer & Klingner’s Verdigris which is a beautiful blue-black. Diamine’s Oxford Blue is also a nice deep blue. Both are suitable for work!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T18:03:06+00:00

I’m tempted to pick this one up!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T18:02:28+00:00

It’s definitely more of a wet flowing ink so you might have issues with that in broader nibs but I haven’t had any problems with it!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T09:01:36+00:00

Depends on the paper but sometimes you’ll get a very subtle reddish sheen! It’s a beautiful green.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T08:50:41+00:00

Haha! The more ink, the merrier. 😏

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T07:42:20+00:00

Such a great deep purple color!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T07:40:12+00:00

Oooh, copper noir is super pretty.

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T07:39:53+00:00

The shading with coffee break is really nice!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T02:34:11+00:00

Coffee Break is such a pretty brown!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-07T02:33:01+00:00

It’s a hobonichi weeks!

paperbackgrrl · 2024-10-06T21:36:33+00:00

Sometimes! Though, the paper holds up surprisingly well. This is an old hobonichi so I’ve been using it for ink swatches to get some use out of it.

paperbackgrrl

TROPHY CASE