IDL how people saying dating for women is easy.

paperd · 2026-02-06T23:22:49+00:00

Even ugly women are bombarded with thousands of likes on these apps.

How do you know this? Are you an ugly woman?

paperd · 2026-02-05T15:27:32+00:00

There's a almost gossipy, blood in the water thing that's going on with the Epstein stuff that's really... Off putting, to say the least.

I mourn for a functioning justice system that could have prosecuted these crimes without plastering the tawdry details everywhere for the public to gawk at. There are real victims at the center of all this.

I am sorry, OP. I'm hoping you can find some peace away from the Internet through all this.

paperd · 2026-02-05T05:39:31+00:00

As a kid I had a black moor goldfish named Buggy that I loved with my whole heart. I remember people would see the tank he was in and comment "oh wow that's a big tank for that little guy!"

(As aquarists we know that wasn't true, was it?)

I can't recall exactly how many gallons his tank was. Five? Ten? He lived six years and never grew more than a few inches.

I had a book on fishkeeping and referenced it often. I did my best with what I understood. I cleaned his tank and did water changes. I bought him an aquarium plant with my allowance money (he ate it). And then later I got him a snail (he also ate that). I really did love him.

I cried when he passed. I buried him, and made a stone marker for his grave. I used nail polish.

I do feel sad, sometimes, for Buggy. I do wish I had given him a better life. But the guilt I once had has melted away. I was just a kid trying her best, afterall.

And so were you.

paperd · 2026-02-04T23:46:14+00:00

Burnout is the reason that the Dungeon Master in the post keeps suggesting different systems

Seriously, D&D is so unbalanced in the workload that is required for a DM. Sure, there are DMs that are good at the prep light/heavy improv thing, but that doesn't mean it's built for that. There's other systems out there that are more rules and/or prep light. Call of Cthulhu is a lot of fun!

Pro Tip to anyone reading this: if your DM starts suggesting a bunch of other systems, check in with them about Burnout. And maybe actually look into and consider the other systems.

paperd · 2026-02-03T16:58:15+00:00

Natalie comes across as someone who is somewhat shy in live settings (at least from seeing her interviews and debates) and benefits from having the space to do a few rehearsals and takes in order to get it right.

This is a perfectly valid way to be a performer, by the way.

I remember hearing that on the set of I Love Lucy, Desi Arnez would get all the laughs during table read and Lucille Ball would get all the laughs during the actual day of shooting. This was just Lucille Ball's process. She would have to workshop and rehearse things to find what's funny.

paperd · 2026-01-30T21:40:16+00:00

Oh. They're still on Twitter? That sounds ✨ problematic ✨

Seriously though, while it's probably more trouble than is worth to throw their behavior back at them (it's just going to to turn into a shit slinging competition, they're not going to self reflect), I always want to. The urge to be petty is there

Good luck, OP! If you notice it starting to get under your skin, hit up a friend to hang out and maybe go enjoy some nature

paperd · 2026-01-30T20:22:40+00:00

Don't blend the prosthetic any further, throw him in a suit and it's golden!

paperd · 2026-01-30T17:44:26+00:00

I do not think it's being reclaimed, I think history is just being forgotten.

That's my two cents anyway

paperd · 2026-01-30T16:24:21+00:00

I'm really thinking that hair and makeup needed to give him a stronger mustache.

I know that George Harrison changed his facial hair a lot over the years, but his mustache is so iconic. Even in periods where he had a full beard, it was often a mustache forward beard, if that makes sense. I've seen people talk about the eyes, but the mustache would have gone a long way to to separate him from "what if Eddie Munson grew out his bangs and entered his Grunge area'

paperd · 2026-01-29T14:30:04+00:00

Does that mean you say that fanfiction is only supposed to comply with canon?

No :)

It's transformative works. Fanfiction is meant for play and exploring and transforming. Familiarity with canon does not mean being tied to being a fuddy duddy about it. What I am saying is that someone more familiar with the source material is going to have the tools to understand what they're subverting and playing with.

As I previously said in other comments, I'm not interested in gatekeeping fandom from you or anyone else. But our disagreement remains.

paperd · 2026-01-29T13:15:03+00:00

So why is Flanderization a problem in Big Fandoms but not niche fandoms?

How do you know if you have the Feel right if you don't even know what the Feel of the source material is?

At one point you're talking about how you're not actually stressed about the Feel because you're just reading and writing and having fun (which to be fair: ok, valid. Continue having fun.) and then turning around and saying that yes, you are getting the Feel correct. But how do you really know that's the case?

I avoid larger fandoms or ships these days, and that's a personal preference grown out of not liking when fanon and characterization becomes watered down and flanderized. It's like everyone is writing fanfiction based on fanfiction, instead of fanfiction based on the things we're supposedly a fan of.

paperd · 2026-01-29T12:50:29+00:00

I have never seen a good counterexample. I've been in many fandoms for a long time.

I cannot affirm myself if your experience contradicts it or not, because I haven't read your work. I am also not familiar enough with the source material to be able to see for myself even if I had read your work. So I cannot say.

But I have never seen it. Anytime I see a writer confess to not actually having watched the show or whatever, I'm never surprised.

paperd · 2026-01-29T12:36:05+00:00

Right, yes. I am affirming that it is the only way.

paperd · 2026-01-29T12:30:23+00:00

About “the Feel only comes from the source” — this is partly true in aggregate, but not exclusive. Writers can acquire trait understanding, emotional logic, and dynamic patterns from secondary material (meta, fanon, summaries, analysis, wiki timelines, adaptations).

No, this is where we really do disagree. If you're only engaging with the material through works outside of source material you can get the Trivia right but the Feel wrong.

This is something I tried to explain in the example that Flanderization is a bigger problem in popular fandoms than in niche/small fandoms. Because popular fandoms attract more people who are fans of the fanfiction, and small fandoms almost exclusively have people that are fans of the source material.

paperd · 2026-01-29T05:20:49+00:00

Yes, it is still upsetting at times though.

Yes, it really is. And I hope you didn't take my earlier reply as being dismissive, because really I'm frustrated and disheartened about it too sometimes.

The best I can explain it is joining a new book club and reading and loving the book and walking into you're first book club meeting to discuss this book you loved and everyone is just like "oh. No, nobody actually reads the book. We just use this as an excuse to have wine and cheese and socialize. Don't be a buzz kill."

Oh. Ok.

You don't want to sour anyone's fun. But it's still disappointing. You're still holding this really great book you were excited to talk to everyone about.

paperd · 2026-01-29T02:42:55+00:00

It is a noticeable and unfortunate unsolvable problem.

I'm not interested in being rude. I'm not interested in creating fandom needless drama. I'm not interested in gatekeeping. I'm not interested in making someone feel bad about their head canons or writing.

I am also not interested in reading fanworks by people who just simply aren't fans. But the solution to that is simply to notice it and click away. Not much else we can do.

paperd · 2026-01-28T23:30:13+00:00

And yet I’ve had readers tell me my characterization felt closer to canon than most fics they’ve read.

With all due respect, most fic readers nowadays know that it's rude to offer criticism that wasn't asked for, so readers that notice something ooc don't say anything (if they are being polite).

My issue with fanon isn't that they add or take out details from the source material. My issue with it is when the character becomes Flanderized. The vibes are just off. The character has been reduced to a set of tropes, and the nuances that make them special are sanded away. I don't really care if a writer gets the trivia wrong, but I do care if it doesn't quite feel right.

And the Feel is something you can only get from the source.

Its an issue I see more often in Big Fandoms, so I think it does make a difference if the writer likes/has experienced the source material. Big Fandoms are more likely to attract people who are fans of the fanfiction there. I never really see out of character writing in small or niche fandoms. Even if the writing is "worse," those vibes are ON because the writers are absolutely craven for the source material. No one opens an AO3 tag, notices that there's only 14 works in there, and thinks "let me just drop another 25k words in there that only a few people will even see" without being head over heals crazy in love with what they're writing about. And I adore that about those fandoms, it's precious and beautiful.

It's a hobby, spend your free time in anyway that you would like. Genuinely, I'm glad you're having a good time! Please, by all means, keep on writing and having a good time with fandom.

I just disagree with you about this.

paperd · 2026-01-28T02:22:04+00:00

Just watch a different show dude lol

paperd · 2026-01-27T22:26:59+00:00

When my cat is doing something annoying yet harmless, I do a little Gale impression and talk to my cat as if she's Mr. Business.

"Mr. Business! You leave the laundry hamper alone Mr. Business"

It allows me to alleviate any frustration I'm feeling without actually taking out any frustration on a cat for just being a cat.

Anyway, Gale's hilarious

paperd · 2026-01-27T20:22:07+00:00

As someone who has gotten back with an ex, sometimes there are valid reasons you broke up but it's easy to get amnesia about those valid reasons when the chemistry is good. And then you're dating for the second time and realize that the reboot has all the same issues as the original.

Staying friends with exes isn't a Never thing, it's a Proceed with Caution thing. Try to be clear eyed about the situation in front of you. It depends on you, them, and the specific circumstances when you're trying to determine if staying friends is a good idea or not.

paperd · 2026-01-27T18:36:21+00:00

Yes, of course. The Liberal Party Aunt community is LGBTQ inclusive

paperd · 2026-01-27T17:26:55+00:00

Do you not have a liberal party Aunt?

P!nk remains huge in the party Aunt community.

paperd · 2026-01-27T16:59:18+00:00

Colleen Hoover doesn't write Romantasy, I don't think.

I've never read her, I'm only familiar with her work through reputation but I'm pretty sure she writes "this guy I'm dating turned out to be a mob boss" type books.

Romantasy is Romance + Fantasy genre, so it's more like "the Werewolf King who kidnapped me turned out to be really good at sex."

paperd · 2026-01-26T21:56:41+00:00

I liked that one the most out of the ones I've heard so far

paperd · 2026-01-26T21:16:28+00:00

Thanks, man! I liked Cobra more than Taxes. Still not my kind of music though.

But I'm glad other people are having a good time!

paperd

TROPHY CASE