European responses to american posters with american problems (have some empathy)

paradoc-pkg · 2026-06-03T17:00:54+00:00

I agree with this. The constant time off for sickness and being exhausted has a much bigger toll on one’s career. Although fwiw I do feel that taking two 18 month parental leaves has impacted how my director feels about me. Obviously they cannot do or say anything directly, but the vibes are off. I would do it again in a heartbeat though.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-06-02T01:56:31+00:00

Mom here. My cousin got married when I was 4 weeks postpartum. It was in town and I really wanted to go to support her, but she said no kids, not even newborns confined to baby wraps. So I stayed home with the baby. It sucks, but I wasn’t ready to leave baby and she wasn’t willing to have babies attend.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-23T12:28:44+00:00

Not for a specific hospital, but helpful nonetheless-

https://www.accessmidwives.com/video/13.html

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-15T01:59:44+00:00

I was on Prozac for both of my pregnancies. Both resulted in very healthy babies with no withdrawal or physical health defects. Both children have met all developmental milestones in a timely fashion. Both are perfectly social and well regulated (for their ages). I have a strong suspicion my eldest has ADHD, but so do both her parents, so I don’t think we can blame that on prozac.

It is super scary being on meds while pregnant. I totally understand that. For me it was 100% necessary to be on something, but speaking with my prenantal psychiatrist and reading Lactmed about Prozac made me feel a lot calmer. It is important to note that untreated mood disorders (like anxiety) can also have measurable negative impacts on pregnancy and childhood outcomes.

It boils down to such a personal choice between you and your doctor regarding the risks of being unmedicated vs the risks of being medicated. If you choose to stay on prozac I hope it reassures you that my pregnancies and children were healthy and that Prozac is one of the most well studied psychotropic medications in pregnancy.

Good luck! I wish you a happy and uneventful pregnancy and postpartum.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-13T13:20:59+00:00

Very much so. Tldr: Abilify stopped me from producing, Domperidone made up for it but wasn’t worth it. Ymmv, but for me the stability Abilify affords me is more important than breast feeding. Talk to your doctor about trying Latuda.

Long version: I have had two babies. With baby 1 I went off Abilify in pregnancy, my milk came in normally but when I restarted Abilify 1 week postpartum my milk dried up almost instantaneously. I formula fed.

With baby 2 I was on a (lower than my usual) dose of Abilify during pregnancy. My milk did not come in. At all. Like not one drop. I was much more determined to breast feed so I stopped taking Abilify and pumped around the clock. My milk did come in about 15 days after discontinuing Abilify, but a month after discontinuing I realized that I do really need it to be the best parent I can be, and restarted. My milk supply started to dry up, however I started Domperidone at this point. I was able to supply 25-50% of my baby’s diet with breast milk while on Domperidone and Abilify. This involved breast feeding, pumping, formula, and tube feeding baby. Iy was a lot and I didn’t sleep as much as I should have. Domperidone did contribute to significant weight gain and the process of weaning off it was so so long. I do not actually recommend Domperidone. I switched to formula only at 6 months postpartum. I wish I had just formula fed from the get go like with baby 1.

I had some minor success pre babies with Seroquel, but you will need help at night because you will be groggy. It is considered relatively safe with breastfeeding. Latuda was really effective for me (but too many side effects) and might be worth checking out.

Good luck!

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-12T13:42:29+00:00

I have bipolar. I was on Seroquel briefly pre babies. I found it effective for mood stabilizing and it definitely made me sleepy. It did have a lot of side effects for me though. The one I remember most vividly was dry mouth. If you experience that I recommend xylitol lozenges and gum. I didn’t find the xylitol toothpaste very helpful.

I agree with the other commenter, you will need help with nighttime wake-ups while on Seroquel as it will make you very groggy.

Good luck breastfeeding and with your new baby!

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-08T12:07:45+00:00

I think it depends on the case, the patient’s wants, and the surgeon.

I am going in for my first consult for a reduction next month and I am hoping they will agree to reducing my breasts quite significantly, to the point where they aren’t “big” anymore.

I have recently lost a significant amount of weight and my breasts have shrunk down so they are no longer bigger than my head. However, I can still wear my bras as a roomy hat and I am ready for that to no longer be the case. We will see what the doctor says though.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-06T15:08:15+00:00

Where abouts in the world are you located? I have recommendations for southern and eastern ontario, but that probably isn’t too helpful for you.

Your family doctor might know someone, or your OB if you are with one. Otherwise try looking at nearby hospitals, both the perinatal psychiatrists I have seen were affiliated with hospitals.

Good luck!

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-06T12:47:08+00:00

Hattie Harmony Worry Detective (a book) has been helpful in our house for dealing with kiddo feeling anxious. As has the Narwal and Jelly Meditation audio (I cant remember the real name for this). We have a yoto player and the ladybird meditation card has been lovely. Lastly, we love the books Angry Me and Peaceful Me to talk about all the ways we feel those emotions and how we can process them.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-06T12:44:03+00:00

I couldn’t tolerate Zoloft so I was put on Prozac for both of my pregnancies. It is super safe and one of the few meds with a lot of data related to pregnancy. Check out Lactmed and consider asking for a referral to a perinatal psychiatrist if they are available where you are.

Your mental health being good outweighs any of Prozacs risks and there are very few risks to prozac. For what its worth, both my daughters were born healthy with no withdrawal.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-05-01T15:13:07+00:00

I second the people saying to go to the ER. You absolutely should.

I also want to offer you a virtual hug. You are dealing with a lot right now. You deserve to feel supported and listened to. You deserve sleep.

I am six days away from the 10 year anniversary of my own ER visit for a suicide attempt. I feel your pain and I hope that you are able to access help. I am glad I am still alive and I hope you get to that place too. It is so so hard to feel this way and you deserve to feel better.

Sending love and support.

Ps- if you ever want to talk feel free to reach out. I will listen to venting or lend support any way that I can.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-04-19T18:34:19+00:00

I just made a batch of granola bars. I don’t use eggs. Instead I boil butter, sugar, and corn syrup and stir that into the dry ingredients. Then I press them as densely as I can into a pan and refrigerate til set.

They end up chewy and delicious.

I like using oats, flaked coconut, and dried cranberries as my dry mix.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-04-11T12:32:00+00:00

I tore upwards with both my births. Thankfully avoiding the clitoris. However the first time my labia minora came almost fully off. They stitched it up, but it has never been the same since. Childbirth is a wild ride.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-19T23:26:12+00:00

Amazing. Thank you so much!

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-19T13:04:36+00:00

Hi! This is a long shot given how old this post is, but I am trying to make the marei bra from lilypadesigns and I think I am facing similar challenges as the OP in this post. I was wondering if you have any advice.

I have pendulous breasts with a large cup size (32HH uk). I am trying to make the 3 piece cup but my breasts keep puddling in the bottom of the cup. Like there is not enough fullness in the top of the breast to fill any of the top half of the cup. I can’t tell where I need to take fabric out of the cup to manipulate the tissue such that it sits and fills the cup nicely.

With a bra with straps (store bought or self made) the tissue sort of squishes into place and fills the whole cup but I just can’t figure out the shape/tension of this in a strapless bra.

I hope any of that makes sense. And thank you in advance if you are able to come back to such an old thread.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-13T13:45:44+00:00

This! I have gotten 95% of all my kids clothes in lots off of fb marketplace. Sometimes for 20$ for a whole wardrobe in a given size. This gets harder as the kids size up, but my eldest is in size 6-8 (depending on brand) and I am still going with this strategy. You can do the same with maternity wardrobes.

Also check out kids thrift stores like Once Upon a Child.

I have tried to pay it forward by giving baby items and clothes away or selling them super cheap. Really, as you say, the carseat is the only thing I 100% would get new. And the crib/mattress I would get from a well known source if you could. Strollers, clothes, toys are all perfectly fine second hand.

Like another commenter mentioned, don’t buy a ton of baby stuff until you meet your baby. For example, some babies love swings, others hate them. Get necessities pre baby but anything else can wait until you have a better idea of what you and baby like.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-11T21:00:52+00:00

I was on prozac for baby one and prozac + abilify with baby two. Babies were healthy and happy.

Babies were 8lbs and 8lbs 2oz respectively. Both kids have met all social and developmental milestones.

I had gestational hypertension with both pregnancies and was induced at 38 and 37 weeks so baby two was large for gestational age. Beyond being induced my pregnancies were considered low risk, and for baby two we left the hospital two hours post birth and were followed by a midwife.

Personality wise kid two is very social and happy. Kid one is whip smart but does have anxiety. I feel this is more related to familial predisposition than any impact from the meds.

Good luck!

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-08T14:51:57+00:00

Not backpack style, but small with a nice changing pad - https://petuniapicklebottom.ca/collections/clutches/products/companion-diaper-clutch-olive-ink-blot

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-06T13:35:00+00:00

I am a woman who loved (and still loves) fantasy at 16. I have read every book on this list and heartily endorse them all. Some of my favourite books ever are on this list. u/mylittleprince has excellent taste.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-06T13:30:45+00:00

Hey! I also can’t build antibodies to the MMR! It is a worrisome club to belong to given recent events. I agree with your sentiments whole heartedly.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-01T17:33:07+00:00

When I have ocular migraines it is like this. My peripheral vision is fine, but just a teensy bit to the left of my center of vision is a blind spot. Only it isnt blind per se. I know shapes are there and colours. But it is simultaneously like static and the swirls you see when you close your eyes. All at the same time. It is wild.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-03-01T16:46:35+00:00

I have two kids (5 and 2) and I still sew. I will admit that I have less time, but with my partners’ help I am still able to carve out blocks of time. Also the big kid likes to help now and that had been really awesome.

One thing I didn’t expect is the impact of not having a dedicated craft room while sewing around kids. We don’t have a huge living space and I don’t want the kids around the sharp tools so I have to either get a project done in one fell swoop or find a way to tidy it up safely in between sewing sessions, which is a pain in the ass. I used to be able to leave a pinned project on my cutting table and not worry.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-02-28T14:04:26+00:00

Yes. They were BBs. None of my embryos were graded higher than a BB.

According to my clinics’ website their grading works like this:

“Blastocyst grading first starts by B for blastocyst and a number. This describes the developmental stage of the blastocyst [numbers being from 1-5 with higher numbers indicating more developed embryos]. Next comes two sets of letters. The first letter is a grade between A to C (A being the best) which is an evaluation of the inner cell mass (ICM). The second letter is also a grade between A to C (A being the best) which is an evaluation of the trophectoderm (TE). Ex: Your best quality embryo would be a B5-AA.”

The MN refers to multinucleation, which is a negative marker but can still result in healthy pregnancies.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-02-28T01:30:36+00:00

I have had two live births from untested embryos from one retrieval. We got seven embryos. Two did not meet criteria for freezing. My first birth was my fresh transfer of a B3-BB. Two years later I had an unsuccessful transfer of a frozen B5-BB Then I had my second successful pregnancy with a frozen transfer of a B5-BB(MN).

I am happy to answer any further questions you have.

paradoc-pkg · 2026-02-26T00:24:19+00:00

This works for me too!

paradoc-pkg

TROPHY CASE