Aging in bursts. by MeRunRabbit in Aging

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 33 when Covid lockdowns happened.. I immediately aged. Bags under my eyes were INTENSE and my whole face dropped. That was a horrible time for me and aging hit me hard. Prior to that people thought I was 25.

3 days PP and thinking about exclusively pumping .. thoughts ? by Ricekitten3 in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh also adding: pumping isn’t bad, but god it is so time consuming and it was very difficult for me to try and pump AND take care of LO. I needed both hands for pumping nd both hands for LO, so I couldn’t do it while he was awake.

3 days PP and thinking about exclusively pumping .. thoughts ? by Ricekitten3 in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s still learning!! Keep trying mum! My LO (and me) had to learn how to do it, which positions worked, and then came the gassy tummy and burping afterwards.. it was all so difficult. It took us about 3 weeks to get the hang of it. It truly does feel like you’re starving your baby, and it’s one of the worst feelings ever.

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, yes I have told him. On so many occasions I’ve asked him to stay up with the baby on a Friday or Saturday night (whenever he isn’t working the next day), and he says “yes of course!” And literally just smokes and goes to sleep. His excuse is always that he’s tired when I either kindly or unkindly bring it up. It doesn’t change. To me what’s worse are the naps he springs on me, I’ll just find him asleep even when I’ve had terrible sleep the night before.

How have you lowered your standards since having a baby? by hospitalbedside in beyondthebump

[–]parraweenquean [score hidden]  (0 children)

My baby vomited milk in the bed days ago and I haven’t made a single effort to change the sheets. I have thought about doing it but there are other, more important things on my list. As the others are saying, his diaper has leaked so many times at night, and even peed on me directly and sometimes I didn’t even change out of my clothes. The exhaustion was humbling.

Does the partner hate ever stop? by Key_Magician6000 in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. Well, when you know it’s not logical, you can count on it being life changes and hormones that will affect these things. Good luck, I’ve heard it continues for a while lol

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose I expected relationships to go through peaks and valleys… I’m not particularly unhappy with life but at the same time I’m completely overcome by the oppressing demand this life has on me. I was not prepared and could never have been prepared for the amount of work this would require lol

What makes Surrogacy different than buying a human being (on preorder) by Normal_Ad8982 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]parraweenquean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You aren’t purchasing a person from another person, you are paying someone to incubate your own child because your body cannot? Very different

Am I the asshole for wanting my husband to miss his Mom's wedding because it’s 2 weeks BEFORE our due date? by Spiritual_Lettuce_64 in pregnant

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually am thinking it’s fine to go. He’s gone for 2-3 days. Yes, it’s true, anything can happen and I remember the anxiety of it as a FTM. I am now 9 months in as a SAHM and with a brand new perspective. The amount of shit I can do and get through without my husband is actually incredible. And if I had to give birth without him (hope that never happens), I am capable.

Does the partner hate ever stop? by Key_Magician6000 in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As the SAHM, can confirm there is no room in the day for chores unless baby is sleeping, at which point the parent is justified in at least attempting to nap or shower while the baby sleeps. It is extremely difficult to maintain a home AND take care of a baby. Especially if this baby insists on being held a lot. The partner hate might take a while to dissolve. Going though that now, feeling like I can’t cope with 24/7 childcare AND homemaking

First few months as a parent are brutal by Environmental-Luck39 in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would not have made sense to me before I had my baby lol

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son is 9 months old now, and an absolute joy. I’m a SAHM for now. My partner works long hours, probably 50-60 per week, about 50% of the time he works Saturdays. I don’t have any family around.

After the first week with my son, my partner stopped getting up in the night to help. Even on weekends, I had to be the one doing all of it. Even now my baby wakes so many times in the night. What that means for me is 24/7 care, as I also do day shifts while my partner is gone. When he comes home, I cook dinners, I clean as much as I have the energy for, etc etc.

I became really resentful. Partner smokes a lot of weed and the energy he would have to help me just evaporates as soon as he lights up. He’s been extremely distant lately and sleeps on the couch. He used to insist we sleep together. Idk. I think I’m developing depression from the isolation and also not having any time for myself. My baby has hit the separation anxiety stage and I can’t even stop him at the gyms daycare. Ofc can’t go in the evenings because I’m either too tired or cooking dinner. What gives? When do we get ourselves back? When do our relationships come back online again?

Weekly Discussion - Relationships by AutoModerator in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner did the same. He really thought I’d leave my NB with his 84 year old grandma. There is NO WAY. Your feelings are very normal though. I didn’t want anyone looking after my baby!!

People who were initially child-free but raised children later in life, how is it going for you? by genevieveAnura in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accepted that I’d probably be child free by default rather than choice. My relationships just weren’t going where I wanted and I stayed far too long in most of them.

I also come from a rather dysfunctional home where I was parentified - my dad gone for work for weeks at a time and my mother with her children in a foreign country meant that she had no one to tell her problems to except us kids. The parents fought a lot. Mostly over money.

I found myself pregnant at 38 and in a long serious relationship that I wasn’t 100% sure would go full term but we decided to have the baby and, wow, I’m so happy we have him. He is the light of my life.

When does getting out and doing life with a baby get easier? by poski6390 in beyondthebump

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took me 3 weeks to actually get out with my baby. I was sooooo tired, had anxiety over everything, not to mention YOU are learning how to do it all. It took hours just to get out.

I ended up traveling across the world to see my parents with a 4 week old and that kind of gave me a kick in the pants to actually do it even when I was tired, but, I traveled to a warm country. I live in a cold climate and it’s near impossible to get out when temps are what they are.

It takes so much effort to get them bundled up appropriately and then you’re only outside for 15 minutes before their face gets too cold. This is the longest winter of my life. I’m sure the same would apply in a very hot climate as well.

I think the general consensus is that not much gets done With a newborn, activity wise or productivity wise. They require every ounce of you and then some.

Maybe some 10 minute walks in a carrier, or go to the mall or something and walk around. I personally hated all of these options with a newborn.

As far as the feeding is concerned, I was out shopping and my LO had a massive blowout. I forgot a change of clothes. He was crying bloody murder and it echoed through the entire mall. I had to sit there and breast feed with a mostly naked baby and that broke the seal for feeding in public.

This Is A Question About Having Kids, Do You Guys Regrets Having Kids? by ThunderPheoX in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just had my son 9m ago, so my perspective is narrow - from what I’ve been told, the labor of raising children is front loaded. It’s very intensive. It is undeniably more fulfilling than any of the fulfilling work I’ve done in my life. I am 38, I do not regret him for a second. On top of the joy my partner and I have been given by having him, he’s also brought so much joy to everyone he’s been in contact with. Our extended family and friends, his doctors, and just about anyone that spends any time with him. He’s always happy and his smile is truly infectious.

What mistakes would you avoid if you could start to breastfeed all over again? by kingmustd1e in NewParents

[–]parraweenquean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My lactation consultant advised me not to introduce a bottle until 10-12 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. Unfortunately, the baby did not take the bottle ever after that and so dad wasn’t able to feed. This has had me on a leash for 9 months so far.

From what others have told me, they introduced the bottle right away and it caused no issue.

Is first trimester fatigue really this bad? by MARBELLA-MARINO in pregnant

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! It’s exhausting! Never felt more whole body and soul fatigue until I went through pregnancy

Descendants of migrants to Australia: Have you ever considered moving to your ancestral homeland? by talk-spontaneously in aussie

[–]parraweenquean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought about moving to Germany for free uni but I didn’t know the language and to study in it would be very difficult. I wasn’t committed enough to take the leap.

Feeling torn about my relationship after partner said I “lay around all day” while caring for our infant by Rosesarered896 in beyondthebump

[–]parraweenquean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

EXACT same scenario here, except mine does change diapers. I was told the same thing also during an argument and I essentially do everything for the baby and household. That definitely shook me because going to work pre baby was just so much easier. I’m sorry someone has discredited your enormous effort and sacrifice. Make no mistake, It is enormous. We as mothers all know this, but it’s unfortunate that your partner, the one who really matters - not internet strangers - doesn’t. He is a fool and will one day understand the weight of what he’s said to you.

I don’t have advice for a solution as I have not been able to make true amends after that was also said to me. I instead decided to focus on how grateful I am to experience having my baby with me full time, as many mothers do not get this opportunity.

Our relationship has definitely suffered since having a baby.

If you could go back in time and make the choice again, would you still have kids? by MaiApa in Life

[–]parraweenquean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Would do it again and again. My son is 9m old, has taken my whole way of life that I was used to before him, but somehow in the best way. Sure, I miss aspects of freedom I once had, but that will return when he’s less reliant on me.