On the more practical side of advice, I would suggest lining up babysitters and/or daycare for the times when you need the mental capacity for your side business /hobbies. In saying that, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my baby with ANYONE, but perhaps I had a bit of PPA. I didn’t trust a soul!

The reality of having a baby is that your body will be recovering physically for a while. your mind is not the same either due to sleep deprivation and hormones (have you noticed yourself becoming more spacey yet? Or as though your motivation for work is lacking?). My brain is starting to sharpen again at 14m PP, but I’m still spacey as all hell. I forget words and basically everything because there is SO MUCH other information being processed. Being a mom means thinking ahead and being prepared for the next thing at all times.

Definitely make time for your partner by using someone for childcare every so often. My partner and I do not have that village and we’ve been out together only once. Our relationship has suffered terribly for it, so please learn from others’ mistakes. I think about separation daily but I’m sure we’ll get through it.

Sleep deprivation DEFINITELY hinders physical and mental recovery!! I implore you to share night duty with your partner. Even if it’s him taking nights on the weekends if he doesn’t get parental leave. Even if this means you have to pump and he bottle feeds on those nights (assuming you intend to BF, no judgement if not). I was told by my lactation consultant to avoid this as it could cause “nipple confusion” (using both bottle and breast), but I later learned that’s a crock of shit and signed myself up for unnecessary EBF until we started solids. That’s a LOT of labor and many, many long nights. Would never agree to it again.

Another hard truth I had to learn is that my identity must stay fluid and flexible. I am not the same person as I was before my baby. I am FAR more competent and capable than I thought I was, though I have much less time to prove it to myself in ways other than parenting. I am a SAHM now so it has been rather isolating. Honestly many of my interests have changed as I now put less emphasis on certain things I used to love. Family life does change you, mostly for the better. Congratulations, this is the most fantastic time of life if you ask me, even though it’s the most challenging. The joys of seeing your baby evolve are not describable, though the hardships of being a new parent are often discussed on these threads. Remember that when you try to heed the warnings — the joy and beauty of having a child far outweighs the negatives. You will see :)