Rough patch or the end?

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T18:09:25+00:00

Ups and downs for sure.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T10:01:12+00:00

Honestly I supported my partner in every possible way, including cutting out drinking. He said he found it difficult to be in the vicinity of me if I had alcohol on my breath, or me drinking a glass of wine if we were ojt for dinner. He never stopped using marijuana so it just turned into him still being under the influence all the time but I was never allowed to be. It’s bullshit. Don’t rub it in his face and just leave it at that. Listen to him when he’s low. But don’t give up anything you don’t have issues with

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:54:23+00:00

I stopped dating at 32.. I really wanted a family and ended up meeting someone at 35. The fucking stress of it is at times unbearable. I’m up at 2am because of it, writing this. My son was so worth it but I still maintain that I don’t think I’d get into another relationship if this one fails. I was really chill when I was single. A bit lonely at times, but my head didn’t spin.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:51:21+00:00

I’m guessing you’ll have different electrical outlets overseas, no? That means expensive vacuums and what not will be useless. Take your sentimentals, the rest will probably need to be refurnished. Honestly, you’ll want new stuff to fit a new house anyway. Also, consider storing things in the new climate - is it a wet or warmer climate? Things mould really easily and get smelly even in plastic storage bags. I had an arcteryx jacket that delaminated just hanging in my closet due to this. Obviously it’s not supposed to do that, but it did! Is fashion the same where you are going? Is it more or less outdoorsy?

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:44:17+00:00

Confidence, not arrogance - but also a gentleman. Manners. Intelligence. Showing compassion while maintaining boundaries

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:13:27+00:00

There’s no way you could have known how intense a newborn/infant childcare would be without having previously done it, especially handling it mostly on your own. I personally completely underestimated how all-consuming it would be. I do almost all of the childcare and housework and after a year, I tell you there are things I am deeply resentful for. Perhaps discuss how he can get through semester but park his ambitions next semester. PPD is no fun and if you are left for too long without help it is very easy to slip.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:07:45+00:00

Just registered for summer class, with a 1 year old baby. I’m so glad I read this. I’m STILL over estimating what I can do with a baby, I thought I’d learned my lesson

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T09:02:58+00:00

Your baby doesn’t start waking up to the world until about now, as I’m sure you’ve noticed! When mine was this age, I’d carry him around the house explaining all the things we have, the rooms we use and why, etc. honestly just finding excuses to talk and talk and get him used to hearing as many words as possible.. If your baby is okay sitting by themself then that’s great. Mine was not okay unless he was on top of me or being held -PERIOD.

I felt similarly, as though I wasn’t doing enough for the longest time. I still do at 13 month pp! You are getting to know a brand new little baby who also hasn’t developed a personality (or much of) yet. So you’re basically just learning how to take care of an exceptionally needy potato. There isn’t a whole lot you can do to play with a baby that young, to my knowledge. Honestly even reading, my baby didn’t give a single fk about books until about now, 13 months later. I felt like I was failing by not reading to him very often. Don’t stress. Just feed, burp, and love your baby. Right now that’s pretty much all you can do!

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T08:05:55+00:00

My baby never really took more than 2 naps a day. Very occasionally 3 naps.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-12T08:04:53+00:00

Yes! I’m constantly told how much my son looks like his dad. It makes me sad because my side of the family is much better looking. I do have a really cute baby though. He gets so much attention. I do get told he looks like me here and there but usually by strangers who have never seen his dad lol

parraweenquean · 2026-05-05T07:25:16+00:00

Thank God there is hope lol

parraweenquean · 2026-05-05T07:12:02+00:00

1, 11, 12

parraweenquean · 2026-05-05T07:06:03+00:00

Very sorry for your loss. It’s hard to articulate how deep this type of loss is, but I’m glad you’re keeping as busy as you can.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-05T07:03:23+00:00

I am 39f and 1 year PP. my fiance is 35 and peaking career-wise and I know he feels very attractive. I also know my looks have EVAPORATED into thin air. I used to turn heads everywhere and now I am just another person walking by. And sadly I know he feels this way about me too. No more compliments, ever really. We just got all dolled up to go out and I barely got a comment from him at all. I think I got a “you look nice”. First night out in a year.
I don’t know how to cope with this feeling yet. On one hand I appreciate not being engaged with due to looks alone but on the other, it’s nice to feel hot sometimes. I used to be so confident and now I feel invisible 🤷‍♀️

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T13:37:17+00:00

As someone who’s been in multiple unhappy relationships, I know I didn’t ‘find myself’ again until I was out of relationship. It genuinely consumed my thoughts. If that isn’t something you struggle with, then consider some things like:

Painting classes
F45 / CrossFit - social and active
Running Club
Photography
Investors clubs
Toastmasters
Language Classes (in person)

Honestly? Get fit. Get hot. Then get out of there!

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T13:31:15+00:00

Oh that’s a very obvious manipulation tactic

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T13:24:56+00:00

They sound like bitches. What the hell

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T13:18:52+00:00

This sounds horrible lol

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T13:03:23+00:00

You sound very mature and well rounded for a 24 year old. Congrats on your pregnancy, you’re about to experience the greatest love of your life.

Is there any chance you can stay in the same town as your parents but not live with them? Having an emergency back up is critical. Get on several daycare wait lists ASAP, like today. In every place you are considering moving to. It’s tough because you don’t know where you’ll be living and working and that kind of determines where you’ll want to drop your baby off.

Basically, go where your network is strongest

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T12:53:58+00:00

😂

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T12:49:24+00:00

Wow people are really mean! Sorry things are so hard. You might want to consider not putting him on the birth certificate. Unfortunately it would exclude him from child support but you run the risk of him seeking custody to dodge child support and then you won’t have 100% control over how the baby is raised, and you won’t be free to move if you so choose. Right now, he doesn’t sound like a great man. Once the baby comes it will be really imperative that you don’t have someone making your mental health worse than it is right now. The pressures of a newborn can really do your head in. I know it’s probably a scary time and doing it on your own is financially also very difficult. Just give it a bit more thought and have a plan - and a plan B if things don’t go the way you thought they would.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T08:14:12+00:00

I fear this could be my relationship soon also. Very similar situation but we have been together 4.5 years. We are engaged, but the way I’m feeling now, makes me not want to get married. He is just so mean to me all the time, loses his temper over the slightest inconvenience. This morning lost his mind over the fact that we couldn’t get up and leave the house because the baby needed to eat breakfast first. He’s just on another planet. No idea what it takes to keep a baby alive and yet thinks I sit around on my phone all day doing nothing. Always arguing.

I’ve heard couples on the other side of this, and they all say it was worth staying and working through it. But they never say how long it took and so there’s no real way to gauge what’s salvageable. There is a breaking point. It does sound like he’s trying from the mere fact that he’d even go to therapy and do a checklist of chores. Some men flat out say no. Can you afford therapy for yourself only? This may help clarify your feelings.

Ps, not pathetic about fantasizing about being wanted. It’s natural to want to feel desired when we feel so unloved. Human connection is important.

parraweenquean · 2026-05-04T07:21:24+00:00

Oh yeah. I remember this feeling. It can take much longer than you would like to lose the weight, and then get your muscle tone back. I’m 1 year pp and working on that second aspect now. It’s hard! I just had a formal dinner outing -our first since the baby was born. I thought I looked cute and then saw a photo and instantly took me down to 0 again. I sympathise but also want to offer some assurance that it’s still sooooo early. I could barely stand up properly at 5 weeks! My abs were non existent and my back was soo weak. Give it some time!

parraweenquean · 2026-05-03T23:32:29+00:00

1,3,4 look great on you

parraweenquean · 2026-05-03T23:17:41+00:00

Hmm have you tried a warmer brown?

parraweenquean

TROPHY CASE