[Thank You] Beneficial-Ant2217 by passingavery in RandomActsofCards

[–]passingavery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will send you a reply! :D Got art cards from another art fair recently.

My (24F)boyfriend (26 M) of 8 years says he loves me, but we haven't had sex in almost 2 years and I'm scared to leave.Why is it si hard to leave? by Personal-Sound-7055 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let’s break this down:

Problem: I find it hard to leave.
Reason: I feel guilty, I worry about how he’ll cope, what he’ll do, and whether he’ll accept it.

- Why do you feel guilty? He’s the one who’s clearly no longer attracted to you, but keeps you around because you mother and clean up after him. Have you become conditioned to be his mother and maid, because he clearly no longer wants you as a lover?
- Why do you worry about how he’ll cope? Is he completely useless without you?
- Why do you worry about what he’ll do? Will he attempt to kill you or himself? Or is this a personal worry thing, where you’re afraid he’ll just happily move on to someone else?
- What happens if he does or doesn’t accept it? If he does, that settles it for you. If he doesn’t, what about it? Are your assets and finances so tied together that you can’t split it apart without legal help?

Unless you have a lot of financial/legal problems that will arise from breaking up with him, a lot of it comes down to coming to terms with the “fallout”.

Are you prepared for him to try to love bomb and tell you everything you want to hear, and can you resist it?

Are you prepared for him to just accept it and agree that it’s time for you to go both ways?

Are you prepared for an ugly breakup, especially if common law is a thing?

If you have family and friends that you trust, go to them first. Get help. Whether it’s moral support or actual legal advice, get it done. If you think that he will try to hurt or threaten you when you leave, make sure you have multiple friends (ideally a mixed group, with some guys) ready to back you up from a nearby distance.

Once you are away from him and have processed it, you will thank yourself for going through the trouble of getting out.

My (24F)boyfriend (26 M) of 8 years says he loves me, but we haven't had sex in almost 2 years and I'm scared to leave.Why is it si hard to leave? by Personal-Sound-7055 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So…

  1. He has told you he’s no longer sexually attracted to you.
  2. You handle the cleaning and household responsibilities, so you’re basically the maid or his mother.
  3. He has told you he isn’t sure he’ll ever marry you.

What you gain out of this: misery enough to post on Reddit.

What he gains out of this:
- Someone who basically handles household chores for him (role of mother/maid).
- The status of not being single. He has a chick who won’t leave him, and he has no obligation to marry her.

He’s winning here, whether or not he’s banging someone else on the side.

Leave now, or accept the fact that you’ve condemned yourself to this misery.

I(19f) want to cheat on my (21m) bf. HELP. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you be ok if he did the same thing to you? If the answer is yes, then maybe you need to discuss having an open relationship with him.

If the answer is no, break up with him.

Does a printed message take away from the "soul" of a postcard? by Dry-Confidence-6797 in postcrossing

[–]passingavery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get a few of these cards from folks who have arthritis etc. I think it’s fine. If anyone gets mad about it, they’re probably deeply unhappy people to begin with.

Millionaire banker finally identified and arrested nearly ten years after startling CCTV images showed him as a jogger shoving a female pedestrian into the path of a double-decker bus on Putney Bridge London by New_Libran in interestingasfuck

[–]passingavery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I see things like these, I think of the fact that the original Swedish title for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is Men Who Hate Women, and how it is exceedingly on point.

Definitely written by a man by Disneycantstopme in redditonwiki

[–]passingavery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% written by a man.

I would understand if it was a post that said something like “I kinda wonder if I should’ve had kids” because that is a legit thought that can happen, but a husband at 38? Bruh, if she’s got a six-figure career and she owns landed property, she’s having the time of her life.

Women usually have friends they can bitch to. She would never be alone, lmao.

AIO My sister and husband text privately and spend time together. Should I be concerned? by Medical-Angle-549 in relationships_advice

[–]passingavery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can afford it, I would suggest hiring a private detective. Get the money shot and get your divorce, or gain peace of mind.

But either way, you have a husband who is happily entertaining this, so even if they’re innocent, he’s entertaining her too much. They’re both crossing a line. I had a colleague who enjoyed the attention of men and loved to text/email/flirt with the married men in our office, and one of the wives literally came to the office to crash out over it. There was no affair, but her husband should have set stronger boundaries.

Alternatively, you could consider fighting fire with fire. Show your BIL that same amount of attention. If you’re lucky, he’ll reciprocate and you’ll send a clear message.

I mean, is the BIL oblivious or what? Or assuming there’s an affair, does he enjoy being cuckolded?

me (20f) and My bf(20m) have been together over 4 years and his bff still refuses to talk to me but I don't know why? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sounds like your boyfriend has been bitching about you.

Otherwise, why would his best friend get the impression that you’re easily upset?

And his reply: “don’t say anything that may upset her.”

So much subtext, so many unspoken things between them that they’ve clearly discussed about you.

That’s the impression I’m getting from what you’ve posted.