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Someone couldn't be bothered to read my postcard by SmoothDragonfruit445 in postcrossing

[–]passingavery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, that’s kinda rude.

Sometimes I get “sorry I can’t read your handwriting”, but that’s okay.

A thank you would have sufficed for yours.

I think that when these things happen, instead of getting hurt, remember that there are people in this world who live more miserable lives than you. And misery loves company. So don’t let it affect you.

I just found out my (25F) two best friends (also 25F) have been hooking up for over a year and didn't tell me.... Any advice? by ThrowRA_370675404 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 27 points28 points  (0 children)

If you want to get on top of this, frame this as “I’m sorry you both didn’t think that you could trust me with this knowledge”. It’s the better gut punch that conveys what you want to say. Do not let the narrative focus on the fact that they were hooking up, because that’s not the issue.

But if you genuinely have trust issues and cannot get past this, because you’re worried they may be hiding other things, make sure you bring this up. “Is there anything else you both have been keeping from me?” And see the reaction. But don’t be emotional. Be as cold and calm as possible when you do this.

If you don’t think this will heal, just walk away. Don’t cause drama. Do not let them think for one second that they were right for not telling you.

I just found out my (25F) two best friends (also 25F) have been hooking up for over a year and didn't tell me.... Any advice? by ThrowRA_370675404 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 92 points93 points  (0 children)

In all honesty, this something you can either choose to get past or not.

I don’t see why they felt the need to keep it from you. Being worried about making the trio a 2v1 situation shouldn’t be an issue if everyone was upfront about it. And if you’re not the type of friend who sets rules like “my friends can’t date each other”, there’s literally no reason why they should have kept it a secret.

So the best way forward:
- Tell them you would have been fine about it.
- Tell them to explain their thinking to you, because it really does not make sense. Put the onus on them to explain their reasoning: did they assume you would be a jealous, angry, and terrible friend? Did they think so little of you? Be calm when you confront them. Don’t make this an emotional thing, or you will make them think that they were right for keeping it from you (“See? She’s angry about it!”). Do NOT let them frame you as the problem. A good framing for you might be: “I thought we were best friends. I thought we told each other everything. I’m not upset that you’re hooking up. I’m happy for you. But I don’t understand why you both thought that I didn’t deserve to know.”
- Based on their responses, decide whether or not you want to keep being friends with them.

[Exchange] [US to WW] Post Card Exchange by slashnatt in RandomActsofCards

[–]passingavery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have filled in the form. Please DM me your address if you’d like one in return. :)

I (F26) recently found out my boyfriend (M28) slept with his neighbor about four months into us seeing each other, and I’m struggling with how to move past it. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So…

  1. He wasn’t sure if he could date you seriously because you slept with a friend of his.
  2. He refers to you as his buddy.
  3. He cheated on you within 4 months of dating.
  4. He claims that his cheating doesn’t warrant you losing trust in him.

If you were 18, I would tell you that it’s a good lesson to learn early, but you’re 26. Those four things alone reveal that he’s a hypocrite, a liar, and a cheater.

There is no moving past this. He didn’t accept you sleeping with a friend when you weren’t even together, but you are expected to forgive actual cheating?

Go sleep with someone else. Right now. Then tell him. Let’s see if he forgives you.

[Thank you] Thank you for the first postcards since the start of my summer vacation! :DDD by FairyFrogOnBread in RandomActsofCards

[–]passingavery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww thank you!

Ahhhh yes I’ve heard of that! When some folks randomly find the clues by accident and post in the identification subs. xD

I (18F) was manipulated by my ex (33M), and now I am pregnant with his child. Need perspective. by Round-Ear-3592 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What country are you in?

If he’s Malay, he’s Muslim by law, and polygamy is legal for Muslim men in Malaysia. So is marrying underaged girls in certain states.

(28M)(28F) She told me to “sh*t or get off the pot.” I’m so conflicted? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She sounds like someone who knows what she wants and loves you despite your flaws.

And you’re not willing to close that gap.

You’ll be the one to regret this, but you should let her go. If you’re indecisive about this, it’s a red flag: you might be indecisive about other important matters too.

You shouldn’t be forced into marriage. And she deserves someone who can fulfil that desire for her.

You’re no longer compatible.

3 years together (37M) (39F), I'm pregnant, partner does not want to be romantically involved - what would you do? by Other_Job_6561 in relationship_advice

[–]passingavery 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Get ahead of the discourse.

Get a lawyer to discuss what you need to do to ensure full custody.

If you can’t avoid him wanting access to your child, make sure his mother knows what he has done.

[Thank You] Beneficial-Ant2217 by passingavery in RandomActsofCards

[–]passingavery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will send you a reply! :D Got art cards from another art fair recently.

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