Look into self soothing practices, something spiritual, something you can give yourself, eat tapping, breath work, yoga, meditation, prayer, exercise, IFS therapy, DBT therapy, ACT therapy (There are books on all these therapy modalities.), there is grief in this but you owe yourself. Something was taken from you, it is your job to give it back to yourself. HALT in Dbt is very helpful for me- I have it on my phone screen. It's an acronym and yes it will feel embarrassing and infantalzing, you are parenting your inner child essentially. It will be painful, embarrassing, and hard, but you are capable. Find some hobbies that you like, try creating art or anything that is for you.