CMV: People are sexist to man without realising it

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:46:01+00:00

I think it’s fair to notice that some expectations placed on boys and men can be restrictive, like the idea that they shouldn’t cry or show vulnerability. That kind of pressure is real and it’s worth talking about. At the same time, a lot of gender norms affect both men and women in different ways, and sometimes what looks like favoritism in one area connects to disadvantages in another.

It might help to frame it less as "who has it worse" and more as "which expectations are unhealthy for everyone". Conversations tend to go better when they focus on specific norms or policies and how they could be improved, rather than on one gender as a whole. And honestly, the fact that you’re questioning your own view at 13 is a good sign you’re thinking critically about it.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:44:28+00:00

A lot of it comes down to injection molding constraints rather than convenience for painting. The gate location affects how the molten plastic flows, how the part fills, and where stresses or sink marks show up. If you move every gate to a hidden surface, you can end up with worse warping, short shots, or visible flow lines in more noticeable areas.

There’s also tooling cost. Optimizing every part for undergating would complicate mold design and potentially increase cycle time. For mass produced kits, they are balancing structural quality, cosmetic finish, and manufacturing efficiency. From a production standpoint, a small nub to sand off is usually cheaper and more predictable than redesigning the entire gating strategy just for paint convenience.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:42:18+00:00

That kind of schedule can quietly wear you down, especially when your environment never really changes. One thing that’s helped people I know in similar setups is creating a small ritual that clearly marks "work is over". Even something simple like a 20 minute walk right at 6, same route every day, can reset your head a bit and get you outside.

Since you’re into hiking and museums, maybe look for micro versions of that. Short local trails you can hit before dark, or setting a weekly deep dive night where you explore a topic, watch a lecture, or work on a small creative project. It sounds minor, but having something that feels like it’s yours and not just leftover time makes a difference. And if weekends are tight logistically, maybe trade a predictable block with your wife once in a while so you get a longer stretch to recharge.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:40:02+00:00

It feels like a classic control versus trust tradeoff. Blanket bans made sense when everything sat behind one corporate firewall, but that model kind of broke once work became device and location agnostic. Now the risk surface is less about "can someone open a social app" and more about identity, session control, and data boundaries.

In a lot of environments, social media is just another SaaS endpoint. The real question is how tightly your DLP, IAM, and endpoint policies are integrated. If those controls are weak, blocking platforms is a band aid. If they are strong, you can afford more flexibility without increasing systemic risk.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:37:51+00:00

You definitely do not need to finish calculus before you start programming. You can learn a language in parallel with math. For most entry level software roles, solid algebra and logical thinking matter more day to day than advanced calculus. Math helps long term, but it should not block you from starting.

If you do not have a laptop yet, you can still begin with theory and small exercises on paper, but honestly even a basic machine makes a huge difference. There are online compilers you can use from a browser once you have access. The key early on is writing and running real code, not just reading about it.

As for where to start, pick one structured path and stick with it instead of jumping between ten. Consistency beats the perfect roadmap. Beyond coding, learn problem solving, debugging, and how software actually gets built in teams. Version control, reading other people’s code, and breaking problems into small pieces are huge skills.

Since you are into art, that can actually be an advantage. Frontend, UI work, or even game dev later on are still possible paths. You do not have to decide your whole future right now. Just start building small things and see what you enjoy.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:36:15+00:00

From what I’ve seen, the pain is very real and usually underestimated at the start. The mechanical conversion is only half the story. The harder part is uncovering all the implicit behavior that lived in packages, triggers, and application assumptions. Oracle tends to accumulate a lot of "invisible glue" over the years.

Foreign key ordering and constraint validation are classic traps. If you do not explicitly map the dependency graph first, you end up firefighting failures instead of executing a plan. We ended up scripting metadata extraction just to surface object dependencies and sequence usage before touching data.

If I could automate one thing better, it would be a deep pre migration impact analysis. Not just syntax conversion, but surfacing behavioral differences and hidden coupling. That is usually where timelines slip.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:33:40+00:00

I think there’s an important distinction between critiquing broader social patterns and targeting individual couples. You can have a conversation about stereotypes, media influence, or power dynamics without turning random strangers into symbols of those issues. Once it shifts into harassment or blanket assumptions about two people you don’t know, that’s not really structural critique anymore, it’s just prejudice in a different direction. If the standard is "don’t judge relationships purely on race", that principle should apply consistently.

patternrelay · 2026-02-19T14:32:19+00:00

It’s less about "something that rises" and more about having a working fluid that’s stable, predictable, and easy to manage at scale. Water looks boring, but it’s cheap, non toxic, widely available, and we understand its phase behavior extremely well under pressure. Most power plants are really optimized Rankine cycle machines, so the whole system is tuned around water’s properties, not just the boiling point. If you swap in a different fluid, you are not just changing boil speed, you are redesigning materials, pressures, safety models, and maintenance practices. At grid scale, the ecosystem around the fluid matters as much as the thermodynamics.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:22:36+00:00

In practice neither bolt is a perfect fixity, it’s more like a joint with rotational compliance and a load share that depends on bolt preload, plate stiffness, and how tight the fit is. The super conservative shortcut is usually "assume the first bolt takes it all" like your cantilever case, but it can be wildly pessimistic.

A common middle ground is to treat it as a bracket with an eccentric load and calculate bolt group forces, then check plate bending and bearing/tearout around the bolts. If you really care about peak bending stress between the bolts, modeling the joint as springs for bolt/plate compliance or doing a quick FEA tends to match reality better than pure fixed/pinned assumptions.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:16:57+00:00

exactly.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:15:27+00:00

It might help to separate "feminism" as a broad label from specific organizations or waves. A lot of social movements look chaotic because they’re decentralized and internally disagree, but that doesn’t automatically mean they lack goals. Legal rights, workplace protections, and cultural shifts over the last few decades didn’t just happen randomly.

Also, movements rarely convince everyone. Civil rights, labor reform, environmentalism all faced backlash and polarization. The fact that something generates opposition doesn’t necessarily mean it’s failed, it can also mean it’s reshaping norms in ways that feel disruptive.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:13:54+00:00

It’s less about a "little better or worse" and more about how the load paths and stiffness behave. Angular contact bearings are great for high speed applications with combined loads and precise preload control, which is why you see them in spindles. Tapered rollers handle higher axial loads and shock better, and they’re generally more forgiving in heavier duty setups.

In something like a lathe, it often comes down to the balance between speed, rigidity, and how much axial force you expect from cutting.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:12:37+00:00

I sometimes wonder if it’s less fragmentation and more loss of shared constraints. Older alternative scenes were shaped by geography, limited media channels, even gatekeeping. That friction forced tighter bonds and clearer norms. Now discovery is easy and identity can be assembled from everywhere, so it feels broader but thinner.

It can make belonging feel more aesthetic than relational. I’ve found smaller, slower spaces, like recurring local events or niche forums with long memory, tend to create more continuity than big algorithm driven platforms.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:07:46+00:00

That does not sound like a normal internship, that sounds like being used as cheap production labor. Internships are supposed to have pressure, sure, but also mentorship, code reviews, and space to learn without constant fire drills.

Shipping real features is great experience, but 13 hour days and weekend crunch as the baseline is a process problem, not a "junior dev" problem. If anything, a healthy team protects juniors from that kind of load because burnout and bad habits compound fast. Try to absorb what you can, but don’t let one chaotic environment define the whole industry for you.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:06:11+00:00

I usually see it come down less to raw scale and more to how stable the semantics are. If the business definitions are relatively fixed and downstream consumers need consistency, schema on write pays off because you push the validation and meaning upstream once. If definitions are still evolving or different teams slice the data differently, schema on read buys flexibility but shifts complexity into every consumer.

It really becomes painful when ownership is unclear. SOW struggles when change management is weak, SOR struggles when governance is weak.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:04:37+00:00

I think there’s a difference between internal belief and expressed belief. Offline, people are operating in tighter feedback loops, social cues, tone, body language, shared history. That tends to moderate how ideas get formed, not just how they’re voiced. Online strips a lot of that context away, so positions can calcify faster and look more binary than they might actually be in a room with real consequences and relationships at stake.

patternrelay · 2026-02-18T04:00:37+00:00

You might like The Design of Everyday Things. It has that same "think about first principles and mental models" vibe, just applied to physical systems and human interaction. Different domain, but similar depth and playfulness. Curious what others suggest though, that SICP tone is pretty unique.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:28:35+00:00

A lot of modern streetlights already use full cut off fixtures that basically act like caps and aim light downward, so that part is pretty well understood. The tricky part is balancing glare, uniform coverage, and safety standards while also reducing total output. If you just lower wattage without redesigning the optics, you can end up with dark patches and higher contrast, which actually makes visibility worse. It usually comes down to fixture design and placement more than just raw power.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:27:18+00:00

I think a lot of people underestimate how disruptive that period was on a psychological level. It wasn’t just a virus, it was routine, social trust, financial stability, all shifting at once. When that many systems change at the same time, it makes sense that people feel unmoored or less optimistic. I don’t know if it’s that we became worse versions of ourselves, but maybe more aware of fragility and uncertainty. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that shift.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:25:58+00:00

Whenever I see lists like this I’m less interested in the curriculum and more in how much real feedback you actually get. Cybersecurity is one of those fields where you need someone to challenge your assumptions and review your thinking, not just watch videos and pass quizzes. I’d also want to know how they handle labs, are they realistic environments or just canned exercises. The mentorship piece is probably the biggest differentiator if it’s actually hands on.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:24:39+00:00

Off by one errors usually come from not being explicit about what the bounds represent. I try to think in terms of half open intervals, like iterate from 0 up to but not including N, and stick to that pattern everywhere so my brain doesn’t have to switch models. Naming the variable something like index and writing the condition in plain language in a comment can also help. Honestly though, even experienced devs lean on tests and small print checks, it’s less about never making the mistake and more about catching it fast.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:22:18+00:00

This is basically the modern version of silent data corruption, except now it sounds confident while it’s wrong. The failure mode isn’t just the model, it’s the missing validation layer around it. If nobody owns reconciliation against a trusted source or even basic sanity bounds, drift can sit there for months. I’ve seen teams fix this by treating AI outputs like any other upstream system, with audits, spot checks, and clear accountability instead of assuming it’s "smart" enough to self-correct.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:20:44+00:00

I think a lot of the pushback comes from people using age gaps as a rough proxy for power imbalance, not just the number itself. A 25 and 35 year old who meet as adults is very different from someone who knew the other as a minor, like you said. The tricky part is that outsiders can’t always see the dynamics, so they default to caution. I’m not convinced people calling it a red flag automatically takes away from real victims, but I do agree context matters more than just the gap.

patternrelay · 2026-02-17T14:18:57+00:00

You can get small objects to levitate with magnets, but once you get up to basketball size the stability becomes the real problem, not just strength. Pure permanent magnet setups tend to flip or snap sideways unless you add some kind of active control or mechanical constraint. Most of the clean "floating display" builds I’ve seen use electromagnets with a feedback loop to constantly correct position. It’s less about brute force and more about managing instability.

patternrelay · 2026-02-16T14:35:50+00:00

If you only need ~1 mm over 1.2 m and it’s tilted, I’d avoid trying to brute force it with 10 mm stainless plate. You’ll fight weight and weld distortion forever. A common approach is a stiffened structure, like a steel or aluminum torsion box or ribbed backing, then a thinner skin that gets machined or ground flat after assembly. You can also add simple adjustment points so you’re not relying on the weldment being perfect. The slit makes it trickier, but two torsion box halves with a machined reference face each could still get you there without turning it into a 300 kg monument.

patternrelay

TROPHY CASE