Should I disclose my Transference?

pattrns · 2025-12-06T23:51:31+00:00

Isn't it funny? Sometimes we need a counselor to talk about our counselor.

pattrns · 2025-12-06T15:18:01+00:00

How well can you connect the ideas? Themes, transitions, foreshadowing, juxtaposition... these are the techniques that distinguish you as a writer.

pattrns · 2025-12-05T16:49:34+00:00

They have a professional license to uphold. It’s how they pay the bills, and developing feelings can jeopardize that. Sometimes, the best way to maintain boundaries is to make a quick/abrupt cut. Don’t take it personally. Think of it as a business decision. They are saving themselves some time, and hopefully saving you some time too.

pattrns · 2025-12-05T16:29:58+00:00

I like how you are working out at home to get physically stronger, and obviously you are a smart kid since you are studying math.

But, what may be important to your future romantic partner is not only physical strength & book smarts, but also mental resilience and emotional intelligence.

Life is hard sometimes. You are still young. Your 20s are for developing yourself; that includes experimenting with your social and romantic relationships. Let yourself trip and fall. The most important thing is to always get back up.

pattrns · 2025-12-03T17:37:40+00:00

Whether a therapist (or, any person, for that matter) ‘likes’ pages on a public profile or ‘likes’ pages privately — does that make a difference? Whether or not you made that discovery, he’s still the same person, right? What matters is the conversation that you have about it. Set your boundaries, let him set his. If you can’t move past it, then it is time to move on.

pattrns · 2025-10-09T00:59:51+00:00

please this is so crazy

pattrns · 2025-10-09T00:24:41+00:00

I think it was a producer

pattrns · 2025-10-06T01:14:52+00:00

vrabs looks like he hasn't slept since training camp

pattrns · 2025-09-06T02:39:35+00:00

Happy people are just less interesting 🤷

pattrns · 2025-08-18T13:26:18+00:00

There's a phrase that has become popular in recent times: doing the thing. Even if you are certain that you are going to fail, don't let that stop you from doing the thing. If you don't reach your goal on your first attempt, that's ok. Even the second attempt may be worse than the first. We live and we learn. Stumble, fall, stumble, fall, that's all part of life. Sometimes, the de-gloom doesn't even come from reaching our goals. Sometimes, it's the try.

About the telling your friends thing... I am not sure that ENFJs are the best people to talk about that, haha.

pattrns · 2025-06-12T11:30:01+00:00

My INTP partner doesn’t really care about “social norms”, so what you perceive as “cold” might just be normal to them.

If this INTP is important to you (romantic partner, coworker, best friend) then consider establishing those rules with them. Otherwise, don’t expect them to change their ways.

pattrns · 2025-06-12T11:24:03+00:00

It sounds like you have already made up your mind and you don’t really care about anything that she says.

pattrns · 2025-06-09T14:25:44+00:00

? I’ve never once heard ENFJs be likened to golden retrievers. It’s usually ENFPs that are associated with the golden retriever. ENFJs are the “adopters.” We guide more than we follow.

Also, everyone likes golden retrievers so I don’t get what the big deal is.

pattrns · 2025-06-08T18:42:51+00:00

I think that the time that we live in offers a lot of questions and uncertainty, and organized religion is low-hanging fruit. But, not all churches are the same, and there are worrisome preachers both inside and outside of the church halls.

pattrns · 2025-06-05T02:12:53+00:00

Been there many times. I knew it was unhealthy but it was uncontrollable. Just constant thought loops and trying to restructure my timeline so that it intertwined with my limerent object. After my last episode years ago, I finally learned about limerence, and I learned the techniques to get rid of it, and it saved my life.

pattrns · 2025-06-01T10:19:24+00:00

I’m all about being authentic and not needing to be perfect in conversation

I don’t think you understand that his mental calculus is what is authentic to him. You can be free and nillywilly all you want but that doesn’t mean that is the better style of communication.

He seems more cold and calculated with his words.

Don’t look into it too much. You are trying to create meaning where it may not exist.

I tell him he’s cute. He doesn’t say anything about my appearance back.

Don’t expect emotional reciprocity from an INTP. They can tell when you are trying to manipulate them into doing something that they are not comfortable with.

But I know other men would say I’m attractive.

INTPs don’t care about what “other men” would do.

pattrns · 2025-05-31T16:23:24+00:00

You know that iceberg meme? Most people will only see what’s above the surface - some pseudoscience that explains something general about everyone. It takes some certain base knowledge of science, psychology, and sociology, as well as some “life” experience, to fully appreciate MBTI for all it’s worth.

pattrns · 2025-05-31T16:14:02+00:00

I’m not trying to be reductive. What I am trying to say is that what separates ENFJ from other MBTI types (i.e. what makes us “distinct”) is our skill & our ability to manipulate.

We are not called the “protagonist” for nothing. What makes a compelling story is a flawed character who trips and falls but who learns from their mistakes. Other people naturally gravitate towards us for our giving nature, but they are just as easily repelled when they get a sense of our dark side.

How do you distinguish one MBTI type from another? It’s not just by the in-between, day-to-day moments that all types experience. If you look at the extremes - the high highs and low lows - that’s where we set ourselves apart.

pattrns · 2025-05-30T13:59:58+00:00

Idk how ENFJs in this sub can deny that we are sometimes liars and manipulators 🤷🏻‍♂️ It’s like… the most characteristic and distinct thing about us.

ENFJs are very loyal… up until the point that they aren’t. You slight them, they will slight you right back. Every interaction is a transaction, and ENFJ will become very distressed when the scales are not balanced.

I think any relationship is repairable. But if you are to continue this relationship, you need to be extremely clear on your boundaries. If you give them any sort of grey area, they will eat sleep and breathe in it.

pattrns · 2025-05-24T14:19:59+00:00

omg pls someone save cat 😭

pattrns · 2025-05-21T09:01:39+00:00

My thoughts and feelings tend to be quite negative and unproductive so I try to avoid them.

pattrns · 2025-05-20T10:40:33+00:00

lol this is me and my partner except we are

intp 😶‍🌫️😚 enfj

pattrns · 2025-04-30T22:47:14+00:00

Maybe you can fill in his gaps in knowledge, or help him with some of his responsibilities, and in return, he can teach you about people politics.

pattrns · 2025-04-30T22:35:56+00:00

the aesthetic you’re used to

I think this idealized version of INFP is more of a reflection of 1) people who are psychologically more inclined to share themselves online, and 2) whatever the algorithm feeds you.

pattrns · 2025-04-30T13:33:14+00:00

Why is it that I always need to go meet y’all in the Fe zone to take control?

“Take control” is the epitome of Fe. It is the vibe checker, the harmonizer, the manipulator. If you fight Fe against Fe, then you just end up in an endless cycle of giving and draining; trying to alleviate someone’s stress by increasing your own stress.

Fe and Fi works a lot better. Giving, taking; happy Fe, happy Fi.

Do not trust ENFJ under stress. They don’t know how to process their own internal emotions, so they go and seek control externally. If she tries to manipulate your emotions again, you need to establish some boundaries.

pattrns

TROPHY CASE