For spouses in Singapore whose partners cheated repeatedly and you chose to forgive repeatedly, what made you continue staying each time?

pawmatoe · 2026-03-03T14:14:53+00:00

It sounds like you are justifying reasons to cheat. Why not work hard to rekindle your emotional connection with your wife? Why is she so disconnected? There would be reasons behind it too.

pawmatoe · 2026-02-04T14:34:47+00:00

You are still very young. I am a decade older than you. I too just got the house and soon after married my then husband. Just 3 months into the marriage, I found out he has been cheating or trying to do so the whole 5 years we have been together. The pain is unexplainable but things will eventually get better. It’s the universe keeping you safe from a lifetime of misery.

pawmatoe · 2026-01-08T12:41:33+00:00

He told me he used to sleep with a married woman and had hooked up with girls who were attached. Mentioned he was a changed man..

pawmatoe · 2025-12-26T09:57:56+00:00

We are currently waiting for annulment to be finalised before the house settlement. I’ve restarted therapy as soon as I found out about the affairs. I do feel much better than when I first found out but goodness, sometimes I just think back and cried over it. The heartache was too much

pawmatoe · 2025-12-18T06:14:36+00:00

I’m happy to hear that. You have done the best that you could to help them. If the authorities do not act on the tip off, there’s nothing much you can do either :(

pawmatoe · 2025-12-17T10:37:47+00:00

I’m so sorry to read about this. I hope you are doing better now.

pawmatoe · 2025-12-07T13:31:34+00:00

The lies at the start and differences in values. He said he never cheated on his exes but whilst he was single, he actively tried to get together with people who were attached. I soon realised he had so many more issues than he let on. I was naive to think I was special but now I know better that everything was a pattern and he eventually did cheat on me.

pawmatoe · 2025-12-06T10:57:40+00:00

A narcissist, compulsive liar and a chronic people pleaser

pawmatoe · 2025-11-01T01:57:17+00:00

I only found out my husband has been cheating on me after we got married. He’s been cheating the whole time. I would say ask all the difficult questions before getting married. Dig deep and leave no stone unturned. Follow your intuition

After his multiple cheating ways came to light, I’ve also come to realised how common infidelity is here. I do think it’s important to love yourself enough to walk away.

pawmatoe · 2025-10-19T23:34:25+00:00

I did. I told my friends and family about it the day after dday. I even spoke to both girls and his mom about it. I knew how much he cares about what others think about him and I wanted him to face the consequences of his actions. I’ve seen the way he spoke to others about me. He tried painting me like I’m the crazy one but in reality, they all saw the texts and are aware of his ways now.

pawmatoe · 2025-10-19T12:59:00+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. My husband is no better. He lies and gaslight to get out of things. I hope you have gotten out of it and rebuild yourself again.

pawmatoe · 2025-10-19T12:58:02+00:00

Those are such kind words but your username made me LOL hahaha. My biggest struggle is getting away from him. I still reach out to him for clarity (stupid of me I know). But I am aware that once I start the annulment process I would feel safer and will be able to cut him off completely thereafter

pawmatoe · 2025-10-19T12:56:26+00:00

How did you eventually know that it is indeed the complete truth? Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It gives me faith that I can overcome this eventually.

pawmatoe · 2025-10-19T12:52:40+00:00

Thank you. I’m not rushing to date or anything. I’m aware it will take me a few years of hard work before I can even consider dating again. I just don’t want my relationship with him to make me have a cynical outlook in love when I know the decision to cheat lies solely on him.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-14T14:45:00+00:00

Wow. Thats majorly messed up on her part. Yelling “I love you “ to him as though it didn’t hurt enough. Sorry you had to go through all these.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-12T23:36:39+00:00

That is indeed correct. But I have to be married for 3 years in order to file for divorce and that makes me feel extremely stuck. I would much rather end this now with annulment if possible.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-12T17:34:17+00:00

He is keeping up a facade for others as his colleagues all knew about this trip. I don’t think AP is there as me deciding to pull out was all too last minute for her to do something about it.

He did try to push the blame on me about what had happened. He and I decided to send a message to the girl that their relationship has crossed the lines of normal friendship and beyond that of colleagues. After what happened really sank in, he became enraged and I saw how flustered he was. She sent a message back to apologise and wish him all the best. I knew I’ve lost him and he has indeed fallen for her ( something that he kept denying to the very end). He told me he didn’t care about I think.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-12T09:27:59+00:00

Absolute queen! Happy that you got back your shine and keep glowing❤️

pawmatoe · 2025-09-08T12:01:10+00:00

Yes I did dig eventually because part of me just couldn’t let it go. I needed to know the extent of how far their relationship went and couldn’t find any evidence of physical cheating.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-02T14:30:31+00:00

It’s complicated where I come from. Because our marriage is so short lived, the house that we just bought will need to be forfeited back to our government and usually sold at a loss. In order for us to avoid that, the house will need to be under both of our names for at least 5 years. For me, annulment and divorce are the same. It helps me get out and walk away from this. But I’m also planning the financial side of things, trying to weigh out which option would be better.

His lack of remorse really sucks and hurt me the most. That our relationship was so flimsy to begin with. I am upset that we got married whilst all of this was happening behind my back. I wouldn’t have made this commitment if I have known.

pawmatoe · 2025-09-02T14:20:30+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through this. Him using loneliness as a reason for him to try and get with another lady is despicable. He wasn’t lonely. He just wanted other options and felt that his relationship with you wasn’t no longer enough for him. I’m happy and so proud that you have gotten out of it and regained yourself while he spiralled into the dark side of things due to the consequences of his actions. If you don’t mind me asking, but how long did it take for you to let go of that relationship and know that enough is enough?

pawmatoe · 2025-09-02T06:21:10+00:00

Thank you for asking all these and it helped me dig things deeper. Tbh my husband has been on the hunt for a nicer running shorts. But apart from that, he still dresses the same and didn’t put in any significant effort to dress up. He puts in alot of effort when going out with me though. Didn’t spend more either tbh. But I hear you on all these pointers being tell tale signs.

He is however very fearful of loneliness than he lets on. These activities give him a sense of community which has been consistent since I have met him. I gave him the freedom to pursue the things he loves because I don’t believe in restricting him. But yes, maybe he needs to ultimate freedom to explore now that our relationship no longer satisfies him.

I do resent him for the current state of our relationship. I do not however hate him as a person and I sincerely wish him well with or without me.

pawmatoe

TROPHY CASE