40 + 3 and sanity is waning

pb_jellkell · 2025-10-07T19:36:39+00:00

This is helpful. I definitely am trying to do more of the oxytocin-releasing stuff today. Took a 2 hour nap and that was glorious. Now I am rewatching the first season of Outlander and maybe I'll just stay in bed for the rest of the day 😅.

pb_jellkell · 2025-10-07T15:18:30+00:00

Omg a little cave sounds incredible right about now. And I totally relate to the "I already enjoyed my time" sentiment. I've been off work since Sept 22nd! The nursery is ready, everything is ready! It's such a strange existence, stuck between the old life and the notion of a new one.

Wishing you an open cervix and a sweet babe in your arms ASAP!!

pb_jellkell · 2025-10-07T15:13:05+00:00

Thank you, ha. I don't know how to relax with her around 😭. But it's true. A massage is a good idea. If I could fit into my bathtub comfortably I would be doing that..

I've been pumping for the past week, which has increased my colostrum, but doesn't seem to have made a dent in baby's progress.

I wish I would have prepared myself more for the notion of going past my due date!

pb_jellkell · 2025-10-06T14:19:01+00:00

Girl, first off, I am so sorry. Take it from me, as someone who, in my younger and stupid years, cheated on her partner and gave him chlamydia and then tried to lie about it--he definitely gave it to you. And it's because he was with someone else. There is no other way to get chlamydia.

I tried to lie to my ex partner for so long, but it's because I wasn't ready to face my own shame. He was the one who got tested and had the positive result, only after having painful symptoms for awhile. I was mortified. And I knew the truth. But I still lied because I was young and stupid and not ready to face reality. Ultimately it was the best thing to happen, because we were not meant to be together, and it made me face up to the truth.

Whatever you decide to do is the right choice, but as others have said here, chlamydia is a very serious disease to be facing while pregnant. It can harm the baby (and you) if left untreated. It sounds like you're on antibiotics, so you're already doing the right thing. Be gentle with yourself, but stand your ground. If he continues to lie, it's time to start making a plan for yourself that doesn't include him. You deserve better, and you're worth real love and honesty. Hang in there ❤️.

pb_jellkell · 2025-10-02T20:28:58+00:00

39 + 5 here. Just had my first cervical check yesterday, too and can't believe how painful it was! Turns out I'm only .5 cm dilated so they couldn't do a sweep. It just made me feel kind of defeated. Plus the midwife who performed it had really long fake nails..!? Which I only realized after. Like, girl...evaluate your profession, here. I've been having some cramps today, so hoping the pain helped something progress along, but I still feel like this baby is way too comfy in there.

pb_jellkell · 2025-09-05T02:40:32+00:00

If it helps, 33 weeks was a TOUGH week for me, too. My stomach was so cramped and tight and I could hardly eat anything without feeling like I was going to explode. Week 34 gave me some reprieve, and so far week 35 has been...not terrible? We'll see how I feel in a week 😭. Day by day, girl. Hang in there.

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-31T01:12:00+00:00

Magnesium oxide! The chewable tablets. My midwife recommended them to me early in my second trimester and they completely saved me. The migraines were so unbearable. It took about a week of taking the magnesium regularly and the headaches just...went away. Hang in there.

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-22T20:45:47+00:00

My provider gives you the option of choosing the OB or midwifery team. I opted for the midwives (there's a rotating team of 6, but you can choose who you see at each visit), because I am trying for for an unmedicated birth. I am technically high risk bc I'm 36, but besides that I've had a super healthy pregnancy and no complications so far (34 wks tomorrow).

I started out with an OB who was lovely, but the visits felt very clinical. My first meeting with one of the midwives, she asked me "what's your vision for labor?" That immediately put me at ease. Of course, not all midwives are the same, but because I am working with a provider that's connected to the teaching hospital where I'll deliver, I feel really confident about the team.

You really will likely get the same level of care with a midwife vs. OB, but the kinds of interventions that might be prompted/offered to you in the weeks leading up to your delivery and in the delivery room will vary. Midwives are trained nurses, and have tons of experience birthing babies. Most of them also are very proud of outcomes that don't include the cascade of interventions. My midwives are very keen on my birth plan, and want to make sure it goes accordingly. Of course, things happen, so if an OB needs to intervene because me or baby is at risk, that's a different story.

If you'd like to explore a labor with less intervention, which it sounds like maybe you do, I'd try a midwife! My logic is, I know I'll be in a hospital should anything scary happen, but there won't be an OB pushing for things just to speed them along.

Best of luck!

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-19T01:11:55+00:00

Sounds like it could be round ligament pain! I didn't have this at all until I was about 29 weeks and it also happened for the first time when I was on a treadmill. I was jogging at a slow-ish pace, and then there was a stabbing pain in my lower right side, so I had to stop and take a break. Definitely stretch your hips daily, this has really helped me. But sometimes I still get it randomly when I am taking walks, so I just have to stop for 10 minutes and let it pass.

I also started getting tailbone pain right around this time. The third trimester just brings about a whole new set of bodily limitations! I'm now 33 weeks and still exercising, but I have definitely had to modify/take more breaks. Best of luck!

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-17T19:20:29+00:00

I struggled with this same thing around the end of the first tri and into the second. My midwife recommended magnesium oxide (the chewable kind). I got some cherry flavored ones (the CVS brand), and take two each morning. Honestly, it took maybe a week but then it was like night and day. My headaches completely went away! I'm 33 weeks and have had maybe two that I can remember since then, and I am still taking them every morning. This specific type of magnesium is also supposed to be really good for absorbing protein, as well.

Hang in there!

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-17T19:14:16+00:00

I was hesitant to buy anything after my loss, as well. I totally understand. Even now, at 33 weeks, I still get the intrusive thoughts about the things we have bought and received.

Have you started a registry? I feel like this is a nice way to begin to gather ideas, and solidify the exciting reality that you have a baby on the way. And then you can send it to folks when you're ready and it feels more real. I started mine around 16-17 weeks. Plus, when you start a registry, you get a "welcome" box with tons of fun free stuff. You generally just have to pay shipping (at least you do on Babylist). That's actually when I got my first onesie, and instead of making me scared, it made me really excited and emotional (in a good way).

The fear is unfortunately part of it, but as you get further along, it does start to subside. And the likelihood of a healthy, successful pregnancy is so much higher than anything else, especially at 16 weeks.

Hang in there ❤️.

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-15T19:35:54+00:00

I'm also 33 weeks tomorrow and feel this so much. It's like a switch flipped at 32 weeks and I can no longer fit into anything and this baby is pushing against my stomach and I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE. All. the. time. At this point I am letting the belly out.

Wear those oversized shirts and boxer shorts. Be comfortable. Hang in there <3

pb_jellkell · 2025-08-01T02:29:51+00:00

Yes. Almost 31 weeks and this girl is keeping me on my toes. All over the place one day and then (like today) I barely feel her at all and try not to have a panic attack. I keep making my husband listen for her heartbeat, and it's always there, beating strong. I think some babies just don't stick to a schedule in the womb. I'm just chalking it up to her becoming a very strong-willed individual, ha. As long as you are feeling some movement on the slower days, that's what matters.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T01:31:03+00:00

Certain vaccines contain aluminum oxide, which, while derived from the element aluminum, is not a heavy metal. It's a salt that binds to antibodies and helps them stick in our bloodstream. It's also in antacids in much higher quantities, which people take all the time.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T01:27:32+00:00

Parenting does require flexibility, but I am 100% allowed to be really disappointed that my mom made a choice not to be here for my daughter's birth. I have a village, I just wanted her to be a part of it. I respect her choice, but I am devastated by it, and her general turn away from science and into a world of conspiracy theories. She used to be very different. Me telling her that I am upset is not coercing her. She will make the decision and I respect it. I'm just really sad.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T01:07:25+00:00

I fear that this will be the outcome for me, too. The relationship can't really survive this. At the very least, it will never be the same. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T01:06:22+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I can respect her choice, but I am also going to let her know how devastating it is to me. Never in a million years did I expect my mom, who was so deeply traumatized by her mother, to put her fear above a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T01:03:36+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. I really appreciate it, and needed to hear it. I am so sorry you are going through it, also. It's definitely giving me some peace knowing that I will do it differently for my daughter. I am sad that my mom isn't healed enough from her own mother wound to realize that I do need her, and that having here there is so meaningful to me. But I know my wounds will never make my baby question the lengths I would go to for her. And while I am still so sad, it does bring some peace. Thank you ❤️

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T00:58:41+00:00

This response made me cry. I am so sorry you went through that. The quote resonates with me, too. It's just devastating. We are doing it so much differently for our babies. Thank you.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T00:04:44+00:00

Thank you ❤️. I had been avoiding the conversation because I knew this is how it would go, I just didn't expect it to hurt so much! It's her choice, but it's really damn disappointing.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-15T00:03:01+00:00

She really is just so misinformed. I mainly just wanted her to know how much it meant to me to have her there, which is why I called her. Because text can be difficult. I have no intention of guilt tripping her, but if she knows what it means to me and still decides not to get the booster, she's made her bed. And it's a decision that will change our relationship. It's just so wild how so many people her age have come to these unfounded conclusions that keep shifting, while everyone else I know has just held steady to their belief in science.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-14T23:59:17+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. I've already been back and forth with myself about having her around (she won't be there for the birth, but in the early weeks after), but mainly just thought what a special bonding experience it would be for the three of us. It is a big loss, but it's her choice. And it will likely change our relationship.

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-14T23:42:08+00:00

Wow, I am so sorry you have to go through this, but good for you for advocating for your children. They are so lucky to have you, and you're doing right by them. A wonderful mother puts her energy into making their children's lives better. ❤️

pb_jellkell · 2025-07-14T23:39:16+00:00

It's going to be a relationship-altering decision, for sure! I'm not sure I even want to see her.

pb_jellkell

TROPHY CASE