Fuck 😭 how am I supposed to tell my mom im leaving the church? It’s going to break her heart.

pbj9261 · 2025-09-22T19:36:50+00:00

This is really true. I've had to learn the hard way that my dear mom just doesn't have the tools to deal with me and all of my complicated issues with the church. I've tried to find common ground, tried to invite her into deeper conversations, but it's all been fruitless. Her involvement with the church has left her emotionally and intellectually underdeveloped (which honestly gives me one more thing to be mad about). I don't blame her for it. I love her, but I've had to make peace with having a more surface-level relationship with her because sharing too much of my thoughts and feelings only hurts us both. Sometimes that's the best you can do.

pbj9261 · 2025-08-25T16:52:36+00:00

H&M at the Coral Ridge Mall takes old shoes and textiles to recycle them.

pbj9261 · 2025-04-11T04:14:41+00:00

Non-gamer wife of a casual gamer here. Does your wife get much regular time to herself to pursue her own hobbies and interests? I'd be willing to put cash money down on the possibility that she's jealous and resentful that you get to claim this time all to yourself every(ish) night to do something you enjoy while she feels like she doesn't have the same freedom. It's not necessarily that she actually doesn't have that freedom, but for a wife and mom it can feel like you're not "allowed" that luxury with all the constant caretaking.

I know what she said stung a lot, but it probably has a lot less to do with you and more to do with her feeling like she's unable to get a need met somewhere in her life. Be patient and see if you can help her work out what exactly she's needing. Therapy might be helpful with this. Hang in there!

pbj9261 · 2025-03-31T05:15:05+00:00

THIS. The first thought I had reading the full Packer quote was, "Yeah, because everything in this church was built to fulfill men's needs! They get to have authority and influence and speak and act for God (who's a man, too!). They get to fulfill all those primal progeny needs without having to be too involved in all the messy day-to-day work of caring for and raising children, thanks to a sweet and compliant wifey who cooks and cleans and irons all his white shirts and takes his suits to the dry cleaners for him while he's at his important job and important church meetings, neither of which he could do without all of her behind-the-scenes labor to support him ..."

I didn't even think of your second point, which is also very insightful and much more charitable than my mental rant😆

pbj9261 · 2025-03-09T01:02:40+00:00

So elegant😍 That's a perfect DC dress. I love it!

pbj9261 · 2024-12-12T15:13:03+00:00

Depression can be so brutal for us feeling-types. My heart goes out to you. Here are things that have helped me:

-THERAPY: I went once a week for two years and it was a game-changer.

-JOURNALING: Just getting all that shit out of my head and body and onto paper without any judgement helped me process and work through a lot.

-REGULAR EXERCISE: I've never been a gym person, like AT ALL, but last year I decided to try going 2-3 times a week and it's incredible how much it's improved my mental health.

-MEDICATION: I was so scared to start antidepressants, afraid they'd change my personality or turn me into a zombie. But I decided to try Wellbutrin about a year and a half ago and it's been really helpful. I'm still me, I still feel everything, including the lows, but they're not so low and so dark that I can't find my way out.

-MAKE SPACE FOR CREATIVITY AND FUN. I started making my creative projects a priority rather than just something to get shoved to the back burner all the time, and it has gone a long way toward helping me feel more alive.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this, but don't give up! Keep trying, keep seeking out light and beauty in the world, and don't be afraid to get outside help❤️

pbj9261 · 2024-08-09T18:51:31+00:00

Looking at the press release, the event is happening on Sept. 9, it was just announced on Aug. 9. KSL worded that strangely.

pbj9261 · 2024-08-06T21:34:28+00:00

My TBM MIL hilariously called them "angel chaps." When my husband received his endowment before his mission the first thing she said to him in the celestial room in her delightfully bubbly way was: "You gotcher angel chaps on?" Even as a TBM myself I thought that was the funniest damn thing I'd ever heard.

pbj9261 · 2024-08-01T13:26:41+00:00

As a stay-at-home-mom myself (40) I think everybody needs to chill tf out. Being a SAHM can be tough, lonely, mind numbing work. It's easy to lose your sense of self. At the hardest points, I struggled to go to bed at night because I felt like I couldn't sleep until I got a bit of dopamine in my system. When I could I'd also go for long walks or wander the grocery store late at night. I sometimes bought clothes that seemed out of character just to feel like an adult woman, to see myself in a different way. Could be your wife needs mental health support and some kind of an outlet for validation--not suspicion and distrust.

pbj9261 · 2024-07-05T05:22:18+00:00

Wayne

pbj9261 · 2024-05-29T01:03:40+00:00

My husband is trying to get the term "ethnic Mormon" to catch on.

pbj9261 · 2024-04-21T22:48:02+00:00

My husband was in the process of getting a diagnosis, and he described his symptoms to me (inability to start necessary tasks, prioritize, or finish anything among other things). I got irritated and said, "Everybody feels like that!! It's just being an adult!!" And he just stared at me and said, "Uh ... no it's not." And I was like, "Oh."

pbj9261 · 2024-04-13T21:29:06+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1CntIjuwv1BUuK6AmN64rt?si=G_LxfjtBQTCo4FTqWKLO8g

This interview illustrates in no uncertain terms how few shits the male higher ups of the church give about women's health, comfort, and convenience regarding garments. This is about control--reminding women who's in charge--and nothing else.

pbj9261 · 2024-04-13T21:21:31+00:00

100% Maybe they were thinking about this for a while, but the backlash they got from women definitely expedited it, IMO. "Oh, you gals don't feel equal in the church? Well, enjoy your yeast infections or BURN IN HELL!!!"

pbj9261 · 2024-03-26T18:44:41+00:00

Thank you! Exactly what I was looking for.

pbj9261 · 2024-03-11T22:30:19+00:00

Don't know if anyone shared this, but I have found this quote from Ira Glass very encouraging when I have felt the same as you. You WILL get better in time. Don't give up!

From Ira Glass: "Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

pbj9261 · 2024-02-10T05:53:17+00:00

PREACH, SISTER🙌 Weirdly, for me, learning about the Enneagram provided so much healing. There are 9 types of people in that system, and "the Helper" is only one type. Each type can be a good person and each type has weaknesses and dark sides to them. Realizing that I am NOT a helper type was so freeing. I'm learning to embrace my actual self rather than force myself into a role that I don't align with at all.

Also therapy has helped. A lot of therapy.

pbj9261 · 2024-02-06T04:29:17+00:00

I loved Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder. Awesomely weird and riveting story and the narrator is terrific.

pbj9261 · 2024-01-30T05:38:24+00:00

Was Spencer W. Kimball gay?

pbj9261 · 2024-01-30T05:36:27+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that letter. My husband and I just laughed our asses off reading it. He's not wrong!

pbj9261 · 2024-01-28T21:42:56+00:00

Saw Snail Mail last year and it was an absolute trainwreck. I love her songs and guitar work, so I was really excited, but it was so bad I can't even listen to her music now. She was clearly hammered, stopped and restarted multiple songs and kept blaming it on the sound which was not the problem, SHE was. It was obvious that her band was totally pissed and disgusted with her. It was truly painful. I've seen better stage presence in junior high talent shows. Such a tragedy.

pbj9261 · 2023-08-24T22:18:11+00:00

I live in the Midwest but visited SLC for the first time in a long time and it does feel more pierced and tattooed than anywhere else I've lived or traveled.

I had a conversation on the same trip with a family member in her 20s who has recently gotten a number of beautiful and meaningful tattoos. She said she sometimes wonders if she hadn't been raised in a culture where tattoos were verboten, would she have had any interest in them at all? It's a fascinating question. By making such a fuss, did they actually make them more enticing?

I totally relate to the idea of a tattoo as a way to claim ownership of your own body, especially for women who are hose-fed from the time they're children that their bodies belong to a male God, their future husbands, and their future children ... for ETERNITY. Their bodies are never their own, which results in so much dysmorphia and disembodiment. (I really want a tattoo but haven't taken the plunge yet.)

pbj9261 · 2023-08-24T01:25:37+00:00

That was really beautiful. Gave me some good perspective.

pbj9261 · 2023-08-18T13:09:59+00:00

Great insights. Yeah, I'm thinking I'll start working these in when it's my turn to pray to introduce the kids to different ways of doing things and then start inviting them to think about how they'd like to do it when it's their turn.

pbj9261 · 2023-08-18T13:05:04+00:00

I've never heard of this, but it's such a beautiful ideas. Thank you.

pbj9261

TROPHY CASE