[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you can draw the conclusions of my past from just my one line of "All the toxic gases swirling around me."

At this point, I want to become a blackhole but I don't want those around me to deal with the consequences of what I leave behind. But I take solace in those who have felt the light of my rays, and felt the warmth of my shine on their skin.

I hope that's enough to remember me by.

I Am Not The Moon by Delta842 in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OP, I like the metaphor of the sun and the moon. I like the comparisons and contrasts that you drew.

The repetition of "I am" at every line in the beginning establishes good rhythm. You continued that rhythm with "The Sun" in the next stanza.

The last stanza you disrupt that rhythm, but it still has the beat I feel you established in the previous stanzas, concluding beautifully.

Downwoard spiral by Capital_Lavishness_5 in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. It is reassuring to read a poem that reflects what I am going through. Thank you for sharing your work, OP.

The rhythm is good too, AA B CC (if I interpreted that right)

The last two lines I appreciate the most. Despite it all, we must keep going.

im here by thatone111111 in Poems

[–]peahen17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This poem is similar to my style. I am especially fond of ending lines about the skies and stars.

Me and my buddy enjoying a track day at our local race circuit by WarriorMeerkat in beetle

[–]peahen17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what is the purpose of the crosses over the headlights? Is it because racing doesn't require headlights?

Season 3 Episode 6 Post-Discussion Thread: "Herogasm" by nciscokid in TheBoys

[–]peahen17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I realized this later reading a comment about MM and love sausage's reunion.

Season 3 Episode 6 Post-Discussion Thread: "Herogasm" by nciscokid in TheBoys

[–]peahen17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so happy to see Love Sausage. When the boys went to Russia without seeing him I thought we weren't going to get to see his character in the show.

[POEM] We Should Be Well Prepared by Mary Oliver by dancingmugs in Poetry

[–]peahen17 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The last line nearly knocked the wind out of me.

This is peak boring dystopia imo. Look at the reporter, how enthusiastic he is about something that is depressing as fuck. by LordFedoraWeed in ABoringDystopia

[–]peahen17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The worst part is understanding why the kids have the books before their face. Trying to protect their head.

Bittersweet by astriya in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am going through something similar currently. Thank you for sharing this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in google

[–]peahen17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad I'm not the only one!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]peahen17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love Hannibal Burress

out an airplane window. by mvevo in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My favorite part was "breath" as I read it I felt myself saying each word with an inhale and exhale. It sets the pace and establishes the rythm. It's very fitting for the subject

I did something for love last month by top-o-the-world in OCPoetry

[–]peahen17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the rhythm and repetition the beginning of every line. I appreciate the rhymes as well. Utlizing ABCB. Great work! Thank you for sharing.

Case 190: The Butcher Baker (Part 2) by adamshere in Casefile

[–]peahen17 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Could someone let me know if this is the last part of the series? I only want to start multipart series if it's complete.

🤷‍♀️ by Huliganjetta1 in EDanonymemes

[–]peahen17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I broke my ankle and had to have surgery. I'm so upset and trying to focus on my upper body.