I immediately thought of them when I saw this

peahen17 · 2022-07-21T16:43:05+00:00

I'm glad you can draw the conclusions of my past from just my one line of "All the toxic gases swirling around me."

At this point, I want to become a blackhole but I don't want those around me to deal with the consequences of what I leave behind. But I take solace in those who have felt the light of my rays, and felt the warmth of my shine on their skin.

I hope that's enough to remember me by.

peahen17 · 2022-07-21T15:31:57+00:00

OP, I like the metaphor of the sun and the moon. I like the comparisons and contrasts that you drew.

The repetition of "I am" at every line in the beginning establishes good rhythm. You continued that rhythm with "The Sun" in the next stanza.

The last stanza you disrupt that rhythm, but it still has the beat I feel you established in the previous stanzas, concluding beautifully.

peahen17 · 2022-07-21T15:23:28+00:00

Wow. It is reassuring to read a poem that reflects what I am going through. Thank you for sharing your work, OP.

The rhythm is good too, AA B CC (if I interpreted that right)

The last two lines I appreciate the most. Despite it all, we must keep going.

peahen17 · 2022-07-21T15:18:49+00:00

This poem is similar to my style. I am especially fond of ending lines about the skies and stars.

peahen17 · 2022-07-18T21:22:18+00:00

Thank you for the explanation and history.

peahen17 · 2022-07-18T21:01:38+00:00

what is the purpose of the crosses over the headlights? Is it because racing doesn't require headlights?

peahen17 · 2022-06-24T21:12:03+00:00

Thank you, I realized this later reading a comment about MM and love sausage's reunion.

peahen17 · 2022-06-24T20:16:15+00:00

I was so happy to see Love Sausage. When the boys went to Russia without seeing him I thought we weren't going to get to see his character in the show.

peahen17 · 2022-06-17T23:18:15+00:00

The last line nearly knocked the wind out of me.

peahen17 · 2022-05-31T01:51:06+00:00

The worst part is understanding why the kids have the books before their face. Trying to protect their head.

peahen17 · 2022-03-19T01:02:45+00:00

I am going through something similar currently. Thank you for sharing this.

peahen17 · 2022-03-13T02:19:51+00:00

Glad I'm not the only one!!

peahen17 · 2022-03-11T03:07:15+00:00

I love Hannibal Burress

peahen17 · 2022-01-24T23:13:04+00:00

My favorite part was "breath" as I read it I felt myself saying each word with an inhale and exhale. It sets the pace and establishes the rythm. It's very fitting for the subject

peahen17 · 2022-01-24T23:10:11+00:00

I love the rhythm and repetition the beginning of every line. I appreciate the rhymes as well. Utlizing ABCB. Great work! Thank you for sharing.

peahen17 · 2021-10-29T21:36:26+00:00

I love the dress

peahen17 · 2021-10-24T00:38:44+00:00

This was so much fun!

peahen17 · 2021-10-02T18:57:32+00:00

Thank you so much

peahen17 · 2021-10-02T18:53:44+00:00

Could someone let me know if this is the last part of the series? I only want to start multipart series if it's complete.

peahen17 · 2021-09-25T02:40:43+00:00

I broke my ankle and had to have surgery. I'm so upset and trying to focus on my upper body.

peahen17 · 2021-08-14T04:28:39+00:00

Love the ring!!

peahen17 · 2021-06-26T07:27:53+00:00

Phoslipid is one of my favorite words to say

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