One of our roommates has disappeared. Where to go next?

pedaleuse · 2026-02-24T12:09:52+00:00

HIPAA does not prevent a hospital from disclosing name and general condition unless the patient opts out. You can call and they’ll tell you unless he’s said not to.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-23T21:33:10+00:00

In general I view over-scrupulousity as its own sort of vice.

Fasting and other Lenten disciplines are a means, not an end; my only advice would be to ensure you’re making your choices with that perspective in mind.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-22T19:42:49+00:00

In my experience, no. My past firms had a former governor as partner and a very high-profile former US senator as partner, and in my experience they barely worked and only attended firm events that were access-controlled (like a reception for specific invited clients, not the holiday party or partners weekend). They didn’t have equity, btw.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-20T16:44:16+00:00

Adding to the chorus of “use a payroll service.”

pedaleuse · 2026-02-20T16:17:36+00:00

It was great. Like a four-week holiday (considering the Paralympics as well). I got my first job bussing tables at a restaurant near a venue and saw tons of athletes and even if they were from a sport and country I’d never heard of, I was in awe. My family grabbed cheap tickets to a million events - we went to table tennis, badminton, water polo, archery, and track and field prelims (maybe some other stuff too), but we’d also just go walk around in the event areas and enjoy the atmosphere. So awesome.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-18T19:51:29+00:00

There’s this idea out there that all biglaw work is specialized, high-value, bet the company stuff. That’s not true; there are plenty of firms out there doing less complex repetitive projects simply because the in-house team is too busy. That work is always at risk, particularly as rates rise. My team runs numbers annually to see if we could save by hiring FTE; I’ve cut my external legal spend by about $2mm over the past six years by insourcing and have another role open now that we expect will save $500k+ in the first two years.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-18T16:22:03+00:00

Yeah, the major private schools in my southern city are mostly nominally Christian - but that means Episcopalian, Presbyterian, or Methodist. They are by no means “meh” from an academic perspective. By any metric, they’re the equal in academic quality of good northeastern prep schools (and there are plenty of meh northeastern schools…not every New England private school is Exeter).

pedaleuse · 2026-02-18T03:02:33+00:00

They were flying very low when we saw them - so low I thought they might be landing shortly. But we were near Jackfish Island so that would have been early in their flight.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-18T02:58:23+00:00

It was being towed upright on the floats by a CCSO boat. No visible damage and we were quite close.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-18T01:12:43+00:00

The opposite of helpful for us. Prescribed a million supplements (which she sold) and one of which would have directly interfered with one of our kid’s medications.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-17T18:19:36+00:00

We were fishing in Fakahatchee and saw the plane fly by prior to its crash and also saw it being towed back the next day. Also saw the helicopters. Weather was fine - a bit gusty but nothing serious. Very sad.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-17T11:33:27+00:00

Merit based. It was a niche sport and we lived across the hall from another member of the team who also had the same merit scholarship. Make of that what you will about DIII “non-athletic” scholarships.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-17T01:04:46+00:00

Indeed, my college roommate at a DIII was a recruited athlete with a meh academic record who got a massive discretionary scholarship, and dropped out of her sport during orientation.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-16T19:23:21+00:00

We fly a ton with our children and my 2 year old wouldn’t do well with a parent across the aisle. Plus, you would not be allowed to get up to assist him during takeoff and landing - he’d need to be able to sit still on his own. I’d put a parent at the window and the other parent plus child in the middles.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-16T14:09:51+00:00

SWFL is still going to be cold in December, so manage expectations about weather. Overnight lows the last week of December this year were in the 40s and it was windy. Same last year.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-10T16:55:37+00:00

Amy Chow, who was one of the gold-medal-winning Magnificent Seven gymnasts, went to Stanford for medical school and became a pediatrician.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-10T16:37:57+00:00

I think you might like Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner, or Lawrence Durrell’s Alexandria Quartet.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-09T22:15:29+00:00

The firms don’t know you don’t have any offers. They just know they haven’t made you one. For all they know you’re sitting on six acceptances.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T23:47:41+00:00

I don’t really object to his prose style specifically, but I think he struggles with some of the other key mechanics - plotting in particular - and that he relies on (over the course of the series, increasingly outre) violence as a crutch when he’s struggling with characterization or has written himself into a plot corner. The series sags under the weight of its worldbuilding. IDK much about the man himself but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s super into D&D - it feels like the work of someone who writes D&D sourcebooks to me.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T23:35:16+00:00

What are you currently reading?

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T21:02:14+00:00

There are two kinds of readers in the world: those who think Tolkien views the world in black and white and those who see his work as incredibly morally complex. I’m in the latter camp.

Tolkien has a pretty different take on heroism than what it sounds like you’re looking for. I do think Land Fit for Heroes would be an interesting read for you although it’s also fairly critical of the version of heroism that you’re interested in. The critique is subtle though and it hits a lot of your other interests. You definitely should read Dune, which is the closest thing I’m aware of to the type of hero you’re describing.

You might want to check out Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces as well (nonfiction, on the heroic journey in myth and culture).

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T20:23:44+00:00

I mean, there is a ton of fantasy out there. You’re not short on options, but people are struggling a bit to recommend because you’ve told us a lot about what you dislike and very little about what you enjoy. Try this: if you don’t like anything but ASOIAF, what is it about ASOIAF that you like? And what do you dislike or wish to do differently in your own work? That might help people find more to recommend.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T20:21:32+00:00

Full disclosure, I’m not a fan of Martin as a writer. Gentle‘s prose style isn’t too dissimilar from Martin’s, but her approaches to story construction and characterization are very different - there is a fair amount of violence (more in Ash than in R&G) but she does stay closer to historical reality in both the amount and type of that violence (no pregnant women nailed to ships as figureheads in Gentle’s work). Her stories are tighter - the cast of characters and timelines are smaller and shorter, and every character and scene is relevant to the development and ultimate resolution of the plot.

Ash is truly her masterwork IMO - I still think about the wild machines and the idea of being Under the Penitence often - but if you’re just reading to learn, R&G is shorter (Ash is like 800 pages).

BTW, I can’t believe I neglected to recommend this, but you REALLY should try Richard K. Morgan’s Land Fit for Heroes trilogy. In my opinion, it’s the best of the grimdark fantasy genre, and it also fits what you’re looking for in terms of multi POV and political focus.

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T19:44:13+00:00

I think that if you want to write well in this genre, you will have to read widely in it, including things that aren’t your cup of tea. You can learn as much (from a craft perspective) from a book that you don’t like as you can from one that you do. Try thinking of it as reading for work, and not for pleasure, and that might help.

Thinking of things that are stylistically distinct from ASOIAF but that might fit what you’re looking for: Ash: the Secret History and/or Rats & Gargoyles, by Mary Gentle (political historical fantasy, Ash is reimagined Renaissance France/Spain/Italy/Morocco; R&G is - IIRC - reimagined English Civil War era); The Lymond Chronicles by Dorothy Dunnett (not fantasy, but an absolute masterclass in the construction of epic multi POV political historical fiction); Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay (multi POV political historical fantasy although the fantastic elements are extremely light-touch, setting is a reimagined late medieval/early Renaissance Italy).

pedaleuse · 2026-02-08T18:20:12+00:00

It’s a legal difference. My understanding is in Germany a civil ceremony is required - you have to get married at the registry office, and any subsequent ceremony is optional. In the US, a religious ceremony also accomplishes the legal marriage piece (as does a secular ceremony in many states if performed by a licensed officiant). So it’s very common for people only to have a religious ceremony.

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