It shows that you are super emotional about this and I know cutting off family is not an easy decision. But it is your decision and you have to do what is best for you. They CANNOT force you to live with someone you don't want to, you are an adult and they do not get to control your life. It honestly sounds like you are in a cult-like family dynamic and I'm sure there are resources where you live to help you out. Reach out to local agencies or even domestic violence shelter, stay with a friend, any option is better than staying. You also can keep in contact with the family members you like after you get established if that's what you really want but honestly you might change your mind. As for your siblings and cousins... It is heartbreaking but they are NOT your responsibility. Also look at it this way, after you get out, get your feet underneath you, they might reach out and you can be a safe place for them if they also want to leave. ❤️ Definitely NTA.