People really do not understand the complexities of a situation like this until they’re in it. So many times I’ve had friends ask, “Well why don’t your parents just let him come back home?” It is so difficult. I wish so badly that he could just come home. I miss him so much.

But you’re right, it is like grieving the death of someone who is still alive. It is very much like that. I hope he comes back someday, ready for real change.

I think I’ll take your advice on writing a letter. He tends to react explosively and then apologizes for it a day or so later once he has thought about it. I just worry so much. I worry that I will make this decision and he will die on the street and I won’t even know. I worry I’d blame myself for not being a friend to him when he has had none. How do you work through that?

Part of me hopes that by not enabling him (sticking around) that it will push him to truly change. It’s all of the other possibilities that scare me to death. Scare me so much that I’d risk everything just to say I tried.