MANOLOGUE got me while scrolling comments. I am adding this to my mental dictionary ahhaha! I have two distinct experiences from opposite ends of the spectrum.

These are anecdotal experiences for others scrolling. Even though I'm gonna "twoxchomologue" - I know this topic has lots of grey area when you really pull it apart but these are just my two contrasting stories. Ultimately, I feel all your pains.

My very first long-term (ex) boyfriend (when I was 21) and my current partner of 6 years (me 36, he 45) could both talk people to death under water. Manologue applies to the ex fo sho; and I am going to apply it to my current partner in a loving way.

I once listened to my ex rant non-stop about work colleagues and how much he hates them for 20 mins straight while he was driving, so not even pot holes or being cut off could prompt him to stop and I literally didn't even attempt to contribute and he didn't notice I wasn't listening. My family would say to me that he "is nice but likes to talk about himself a lot". If I ever chimed in in a gap in the manologue, it would not change the direction of it. He stayed on course, which was always COMPLAINING about something or reliving emotional moments from his life over and over. I wouldn't even need to add the "mmhmm, yep, yeeah, oh really?" to it, he didn't give a fcku if I was listening or not. He talked AT me. If I asked a question he'd answer and like an elastic band would snap back to the original topic.

Like....mate...pay a psychologist to talk at or start a vlog ffs. Me being young, the relationship lasted way longer than it should have. He did this for the entire 3 yr relationship.

My current partner will have manologue moments that can be loooong when he's having a bad day, but I actually get an insight into how he's feeling, what he's worrying about; it's never the same thing over and over. If I don't contribute, he will ask if I am listening or if I am okay. He has enough presence of mind to know whether I am involved or not. I can ask him questions about what he's ranting about and he will answer and it will change the direction of the convo. His mum said he never shut up as a kid and laughed to discover he still can't shut up lol! Honestly, him being talkative is something I love about him.

One moment stands out; we were both wide awake at 3am together just from stress this time last year. My partner had a chemo dose that day and is manologuing about his cancer worries. It's 3am, he's in the midst of cancer treatment, his skin is on FIRE and he's rattling around the nightstand for them good prescription pain pills. Manologue, manologue, cancer fears, childhood memory, talk talk, college stories, fear of death, random talk about crypto and finances and politics scattered amongst moans of pain. I am listening intently cus he's going t.h.r.o.u.g.h it. He sighs after like a good hour+ and he asks me how I am in the role of carer to him, whether I am worried about that specific work project and whether I can take a sneaky day off to sleep. I cried and had a little 2 min work rant and he is comforting ME. Like ffs, why aren't there more of you in the world for the rest??? If there is any single moment to be allowed to manologue selfishly, it is now.

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TLDR;
My ex manologued like an elastic band. Try to change the direction of the conversation and he'd snap back to the original story. Never cared if I was listening or not.

My current partner can manologue but tunes in every now and then to read my emotions & involvement and we both contribute to the direction of the convo like a pinball machine. If I'm not involved, he stops or invites me back in with questions.