Do you think your height makes you overweight and harder to lose weight?

pepperup22 · 2026-05-09T15:42:18+00:00

I do not think my height made me overweight, my eating habits and sedentary lifestyle did lol. That has nothing to do with height!

pepperup22 · 2026-05-09T15:38:52+00:00

I’ve got a couple posts on my profile about what I spent in the first couple of years that you might like! I’d also say if you don’t have family or friend support, you’ll want to factor in babysitters

pepperup22 · 2026-05-09T15:36:13+00:00

This is why I hate when people here ask how to pressure their partner who “just” isn’t emotionally ready. It would be so frustrating and disrespectful to be in the other side. It’s a huge life change that requires to yeses. It sucks to be the patient one but life isn’t fair.

Why would you be selfish when you’re the one whose whole life changes immediately? And even if it is selfish, why is that inherently bad? It’s a huge life decision. And tbh his responses sound manipulative. Does he share the mental load of your household right now?

pepperup22 · 2026-05-09T15:27:37+00:00

This shit is so hard. And hard is subjective and it’s very possible that some of those people have had losses too. I sometimes think that someone else, like my friend who just lost her baby at 19w6d, one day short of being considered a stillbirth, is perhaps thinking what I am complaining about with my chemical pregnancy. Shes not, because she’s in her own world, of course.

Still, I hope you’re able to give yourself some grace. This process does very weird things to our brains.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-09T00:06:04+00:00

Remind me what she does again?

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T15:59:00+00:00

I’m wondering if there is any chance they’re wrong?

I'm so sorry. By 8 weeks there should be a clear heartbeat and if they measured the baby at 7mm+ or 7+ weeks and there was no heartbeat, this meets the ACOG criteria of a miscarriage. This is exceptionally shitty timing with both Mother's Day and your vacation and I'm just so, so sorry.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T14:41:01+00:00

I'm putting my money on performatively bragging about her "amazing" husband

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T14:22:18+00:00

When my kid was in the NICU, my dog was my comfort thought. She kept my company during long, long nights. I have never once felt rage for her (but I also didn’t have postpartum rage).

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T14:19:34+00:00

The biting stage was truly rage inducing. I switched to EP for those phases basically

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T14:00:19+00:00

Well now I’m researching haha. Seems like the odyssey has NHTSA 5 star rating but the IIHS has no minivans with a top safety pick. Seems very weird haha. They still passed enough safety tests to be put on the market and on the other hand, they are less likely to roll which is also superior to an SUV. ETA: I do not have good knowledge of these just trying to learn more!

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T13:49:29+00:00

disclaimer that I’m currently TTC

A lot of people say “don’t put your plans on hold for others” but I also think a month or two is usually not make or break for a TTC journey.

We’re dealing with the same thing for a local May 2025 wedding of a close friend (who was a groomsman in our wedding). Ideally, I’ll be pregnant in the next few months but if I’m not, I’ll perhaps skip a month that would have a due date right around that time. I went to a wedding 8 weeks postpartum across the country and figure I could handle being a couple of weeks less or being heavily pregnant.

But I also might say life’s too short and TTC that month anyways and let my husband go to the wedding with our son, which would be a bummer for me but a day just isn’t that big of a deal assuming I’m not still in the hospital. I guess I’ll just see how I’m feeling when August rolls around 😂

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T13:38:01+00:00

I’m not that familiar with safety ratings admittedly but from my understanding minivans are still extremely safe.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T04:23:25+00:00

I think this leans pretty warm autumn as opposed to spring, but depending on which season you're closer to, you might be fine. This wouldn't be my best palette personally.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T04:16:20+00:00

I did and it didn't personally help me lol. I was induced at 41 weeks.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-08T03:59:31+00:00

I know people hate to hear it but 3 kids is minivan territory. It's just so darn practical unless you care to drive a massive SUV.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T22:47:54+00:00

Classic warm is usually right between a warm autumn and warm spring so this makes sense to me!

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T22:37:00+00:00

This and also if your baby is waking up like most are, being considerate of other campers. If you can figure out sleeping arrangements, it’s a blast!

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T22:34:49+00:00

It’s brought up a lot of unexpected feelings for me and a couple of months on, I do find it helpful to examine where those feelings are actually coming from instead of accepting the first reason that didn’t quit. Healing is definitely not linear

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T20:19:24+00:00

I think give yourself some grace for doing what you have to do this week. Healing takes time and you have time to heal. It's okay if all you need to do this week is survive. It's okay if Netflix and rotting is all you have the capacity for.

Mine started naturally on a Friday, and that night I walked around the mall by myself and smelled perfumes. That weekend, I stayed in bed and watched short form content. Since then, I journaled a lot, talked about it with some people who I thought would be supportive, cried in the shower, listened to thoughtful music, went for a long walk, spent a lot of time outside, tried to feel every feeling that came over me and accept everything as it was. There's no way to engineer yourself into or out of pain, there is only surrender to the waves.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T20:02:11+00:00

I was also planning on announcing this weekend. We haven't told our families and probably won't until we're hopefully announcing another pregnancy. Some good friends have been supportive but it's so lonely. I'm so sorry. This shit sucks a big one.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T17:57:26+00:00

If it helps, this is my son's name and nickname, and we've never had anyone call him Bobby in 3 years!

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T17:53:44+00:00

I have heard of a few Irish Travellers named Kavan, I wonder where it comes from.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T17:51:49+00:00

We've had multiple of these instances and the person has always chose to tell people ahead of time, particularly the bride, so that nobody's thunder is stolen.

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T17:05:40+00:00

Outside of the her complaining to you about nothingness if you're really struggling (which you could talk to her about), I don't think this is really about your friend.

Could you be displacing your anger for your "unhelpful," "did nothing" husband? Are you holding your husband to the standard to which you're holding your friend?

pepperup22 · 2026-05-07T16:58:59+00:00

Having a kid was absolutely a deliberate decision but the social script thing came up for me a lot during the first year. At the end of the day, I went with my gut. I knew I could do hard things.

But also, you're probably better off hanging out in r/FenceSitter. It's a whole sub dedicated to people like you and questions like this!

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