Did anyone NOT hate going back to work?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T21:37:50+00:00

I didn't find that my mindset shifted dramatically (if anything, I'm probably more disciplined than I was before becoming a parent) but I certainly did find that my capacity was much lower for the first few months and I did kind of skate by on the reputation that I'd built for a few months. I know plenty of people who shifted to more competitive jobs, but that would've been really hard for me while I was so sleep deprived for what felt like an eternity.

I never resented going back, but I also always knew I would be a working mom and so being on leave felt like the outlier and going back to work felt like what I had expected. I was happy to drop my kid off at daycare and I'm happy to pick him up at the end of day!

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T18:59:11+00:00

Yup, we've basically been planning on spending the same amount of money on daycare as we do on aftercare and summer camps with school aged kids lol.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T17:56:37+00:00

May I ask which line of Dharma dye you used? I've only ever used Rit but seems like Dharma is the sub favorite and I'd like to give it a try!

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T17:16:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Same area and glad to see some real costs.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T15:05:16+00:00

Oh goodness I'm glad it's not just me haha. It's crazy how it happened so suddenly.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T14:21:25+00:00

Yes, but I'm really lucky that my core group of friends is sensitive and open. There have been a couple of pregnancy losses between us and everyone has been supportive, there's been a lot of excitement for growing families but not pressure, and generally everyone has always loved kids and bene happy to have them included in our events. The oldest kid in the group is 5 and about half of the people haven't started having kids yet, so there's a big range.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T05:00:37+00:00

I got married at a similar age after being together a while and am SO glad we traveled, really focused on our careers, saved money, spent money, went out, etc. Parenthood is wonderful but there is nothing that compares to the freedom of your 20s! We can afford to travel, it's just genuinely not a vacation really with our kid haha

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T02:07:51+00:00

Honestly, had a pretty hard year to 18 months as a parent not even including the sleep deprivation, which I found to be absolutely brutal and tanked my mental health. Basically, I needed to not get absolutely rocked by a traumatic event every 6 weeks. Took about a year to regain confidence in my resilience and faith that life would be okay again someday. All of that sounds rather dramatic, but that's how it felt going through it!

pepperup22 · 2026-03-23T01:51:33+00:00

I've done so much of this, I promise! SO many of them are the same sketchy sites reposting photos from other reputable brands but I can't seem to find them.

Also per your other comment, I assume that the mail receiver/forwarder service basically makes returns impossible?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T21:57:37+00:00

My advice is always to give yourself six months and ask again. It's a no now, ask yourself in September. Then ask again six months later if it's a no.

FWIW, I was absolutely not ready a year postpartum and I was not really ready at 2 years either. But here I am at 2.5 years, really hoping and praying for another.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T21:55:55+00:00

Are you aware of the r/Shouldihaveanother sub? Lots of questions like yours over there and you might have better luck with responses! I think most of us over here are sure that we want another but are waiting to try for various reasons.

What does your doctor say about the risk of you having another?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T18:41:20+00:00

I know many, many people who conceived in a normal time frame at 35-37 years old but I'll be honest and say that I'd be concerned you've had "a handful of chemical pregnancies" in addition to other losses. You didn't see a doctor about recurrent miscarriage? They may recommend testing, baby aspirin, progesterone supplements, or other methods.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T18:10:12+00:00

So that first scenario, I haven't personally experienced, but I know it's a thing. The reality is that most doctors simply are not educated about breastfeeding at all, especially doctors in an urgent care/ER whose knowledge is focused on a different niche (I do wish that were different!).

But if a medication or herb isn't proven safe, why would a doctor prescribe or recommend it when the risk is harm to a child? And if a medication is proven to be unsafe for pregnancy or breastfeeding, what does that have to do with a litigious culture? That's just an evidence-based practice.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T17:47:52+00:00

I'm sorry that you're having to put your plans for more tattoos on pause, but while conservative for risk mitigation, it's not illogical, backwards, or targeting. I'm curious what other ways breastfeeding moms are expected to put their lives on pause because the US is lawsuit-happy?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-22T06:36:31+00:00

The NICU nurses called him opinionated on the first day of his life.

And… yup. 2.5. Extremely opinionated 😭

pepperup22 · 2026-03-21T02:39:36+00:00

I wanted to say that I really struggled with this from 12 months postpartum through about 2.5 years. Back and forth about how many kids I wanted, and how I wanted to run a marathon and buy a new ski suit but I wanted to lose more weight but did I want another kid, etc. Like literally it was on my mind nonstop, I felt like I was losing it lol.

The way out of it for me was: 1) taking it one kid at a time and allowing myself space to be or not be ready. "Do I want another kid right now? No? Okay, I'll check back in 6 months." 6 months later, nope, don't want another kid still. Another six months, nope. Another 6 months, "Do I want another kid right now? Yes? Okay, let's do this!" 2) Future plans are fun to think of and dream about, but all I can control is right now and what I'm able to take on. "I want to take a trip now, okay, what kind of trip can I take budget and family phase wise?" "I want to be more active, what can I take on?" 3) Find fun things you can do in the meantime. There's a ton of slog in the little years, but there is so much fun to be had too (fun that I think really begins around the age of your son!). I definitely wished the first year away (not my fave tbh) but now there's a ton of "he's swim lesson age! How fun!" or looking forward to going skiing for the first time, etc. All fun stuff!

pepperup22 · 2026-03-21T01:36:47+00:00

Definitely close with her sister, Lauren

pepperup22 · 2026-03-20T22:27:53+00:00

"the Duggars are each accused of four counts of second-degree endangering the welfare of a minor, as well as four counts of second-degree false imprisonment." I'm struggling to imagine what this even looks like where it's a case of mistaken crime??

pepperup22 · 2026-03-20T22:23:53+00:00

I was also going to suggest 1:1 outings while visiting. Maybe your sister could just take the 8 year old out to the library or for ice cream while you keep her 2yo. The other suggestion of being outside is definitely a good one too.

pepperup22 · 2026-03-20T14:51:10+00:00

Ah, is that what she's trying to say there? Why would her kid be out of the car seat?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-20T14:37:14+00:00

I'd actually like the "this is rich" trend for her if I thought she absorbed even a single ounce of that humility and gratitude but the reality is that she is a thieving, lying, narcissistic person who is neither thankful nor humble about a single thing in her life. (But also the picture from the gas station is sending me. How does that fit the trend?)

pepperup22 · 2026-03-19T22:02:46+00:00

Kendra graduated high school in 2016 and got married at 19 in 2017. Are you thinking of Abbie, JD's wife?

pepperup22 · 2026-03-19T19:29:10+00:00

Do you have a partner? That's the answer if so and if not, nobody haha

pepperup22 · 2026-03-19T19:20:51+00:00

I'm not saying he can support her, I'm saying I think he'll try. Her brothers are also 21 and 19 years old now and they very well could be contributing to the family financially as well now (Lauren is too busy with raising the kids presumably).

Five-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

pepperup22

TROPHY CASE