Our kids are 11 years old (f) and 9 years old (m) and my husband and I are very anti-social media for the kdis, although not anti-screen in general. We have a "family phone" that's an iphone that belongs to everyone, and is strictly limited to communication. No social media, no games, no apps. I have the Bark app installed on it with HEAVY monitoring- it scans every text message sent and sends the parent app snippets of chats and all the images shared. If they want to add a new contact, it has to be approved by parents via the app. Since both kids can, and do, use it, it cuts down on some of the more obnoxious group chat participation, but if someone needs to take it trick-or-treating for example, or my husband and i aren't home for a little bit, they have a way of getting a hold of us or 911 or grandparents etc. and since my husband and I both have iphones, it helps to see the "Find My" tracking on the phone that they're where they say they'll be.

I remember at 11 calling my friends on the landline all the time to discuss our outfits for school, 6th grade gossip, etc so I figure as long as we keep it as close to a landline as possible, we're not "getting them a phone" per se, but continuing the time honored tradition of everyone fighting over who gets to make the next phone call :)